LDR Phone call

He : Hi!! wassup?

She : Hi sweetie. nuthin. thinkin about you, what else?

He : *tunes up* riyally?

She : ummm..hhmm.. what you doing?

He : me? talking to you.

She : *doesn't find it funny but* hee hee hee...how cute. so wassup?

He : nuthing new. I think about you... everytime. babes, when do we meet again?

She : My flirt! and when do you work? *puppy expression and tone* I know baybee, i'm dying to see you.

He : hmm...so?

She : so what?

He : Wassup with ur Hitler?

She : *fakes anger* My daddu's not Hitler. He's strict that's it. I haven't talked to him after that day. why?

He : Just. He's never gonna say yes to our relationship.

She : Baby, now don't spoil your mood now. tell me what did u eat? hey whats the time there?

He : No. I want to talk about it.... him, sorry. why can't that $#%^& understand? he's sucha....

She : *now really angry* Stop it! You can't talk about my dad that way. He's my dad!!! he's..

He : *Raises voice* Yea right! he's ur darling dad. and I'm no one for u. I know it. I dunno why I even...

She : If u were no one, I wouldn't make this international call to you at 1 in the morning. do you get me? U cannot insult my dad. let me tell you for the 1000th time now.

He : *silence* ...

She : *silence* ...

He : sorry. I'm sorry. I shudn't have lost my cool.

She : *silence*

He : Babes, I sed i'm sorry. say something to me.

She : what do I say? each time i say something, you connect it to my dad and all hell breaks loose. i love you both. *starts crying*

He : baby, baybeee, please. please. dont cry now. what can i say now.

She : *sheepishly*. say you love me.

He : I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you to pieces. happy?

She : *giggles* i love you too. ok hold on... just a min....

He : why what happened?... hey? dont disconnect.

She : *silence*

He : whaaaat? wassup?

She : No nuthing. i thought dad got up. He'd hear me no?

He : Here we go again. U know. I think we shud elope. get married. and not show our faces ever again to your family. anyway, your dad and bully brother hate me. Aunty hates me too. Everyone in your family hates me ya! we shud run away.

She : does your mother like me?

He : She likes you.

She : *angry* Yeah right. That's why last time she taunted me at least a hundred times in 5 minutes. I have taken away her only kid' it seems. Now, I don't bring up ur mom everytime, do i? and you dad just doesn't care if his D-I-L is me or some other female, as far as she is not a gori mem! and guess what, you can avoid my parents for the rest of ur blissful life. But me? I have to bear yours all through mine.

He : *very angry* If u think u have to bear my parents, we can really call off this relationship, you know. Anyway, this long distance relationship isn't working. It'll save us a lot of headache, you know?

She : *Calmly* Are you serious about this? I have to know. But let me tell you, I have done a lot for this relationship to work.

He : *Calming down* I have too, you know. It's not simple. Listening to ur firang boss breathe down orders on you the whole day and get into personal mess after getting back home. Know what, even Captain Morgan doesn't help me forget all this.

She : Who's he?

He : The Boss? Firang hai yaa. leave him naa. I don wanna talk abt him now.

She : Noooo, Captain Morgan. Who's he?

He : *Irritated* arree yaar, Rum hai.

She : *shocked* You drink everyday?

He : No ya. not everyday!! don't be a typical girlfriend now. what else new? How's your job? Did ur friend get married?

She : Dude! She's 7 months pregnant now! what world are you in?

He : Ohhh? since when?

She : Since 7 months!!

He : DUH! i meant when did she get married?

She : Is it important? hey btw! I think I'm next in line for promotion.

He : oh? ok? cool.

She : That's it? I mean, u don't sound too excited. whats wrong.

He : naah nuthing. Just tired. so wassup with ur promotion thingy? Boss happy with you.

She : Change the tone, I dint like it!

He : Alright, alright! Is your work keeping your Boss happy... so much so that he thought of pushing you up your career ladder? Happy?

She : Now stop being sarcastic! If u don't wanna listen. don't. I won't tell u about it.

He : Baby. C'mon. tell me abt it.

She : hey no. some other time. its late now. almost an hour. Got office tomorrow.

He : hey 5 more minutes please. please.

She : No. Have to sleep ya. I wud love to talk the entire night.

He : Ok. you won't listen. will you dream about me?

She : Of cors sweetie. I dream every night about getting married to you.

He : and...?

She : and what? useless! nothing. then i wake up coz I have to go to the office and please my Boss, as you put it.

He : he he he he... I dream something more you know.

She : I've a censor board for my dreams. Now let me go.

He : I'm not holding you. Though I wish I were.

She : bye.

He : hey wait. what about our ritual?

She : nothing. get lost bye.

He : arrree...not fair. say naa..kaho naa pyaar hai..

She : sheeesh, how corny!! now you go to your firang boss.

He : Look, I'm straight.

She : YUCK! sheeeeeesh....go now. bye.

He : ritual?

She : BYE! Say bye!

He : *sighs* ok bye. when will i call you again?

She : you don't call me. I'll call you. Now bye.

He : I love you babes.

She : I love you too, baybee. byee.

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Concept of LDR - Long Distance Relationship was an inspiration from an incident narrated by a friend, KK.

Dialogue - Pure Imagination.

In case of any resemblance to any conversation between any LDR couple anywhere - I eavesdrop too well. :P

...

It's been a year today. an event that will appear in the history books in black and white, a few years from now.

Today morning, while heading to the office, heard Dr. Satyapal Singh, Commisioner of Pune, on the radio announcing that you can come and pay respect to all those who lost their life in the tragedy. I knew I had to go too.

Before I realised, my vision was clouded with tears and I had to hold them back for the sake of driving safely.

I'm just back from lighting candle at the police station. I don't know what I felt. It is hard to put my sentiments into words.

My insides felt like they were made of lead. I couldn't help shivering in my place when i was standing in silence, paying respects. What could I say to those who left us behind? Thanks for doing what you did? Sorry for what happened? May your souls rest in peace?

None! all I could feel was anger mixed with sadness. WHY did this happen? Who was responsible for what and who bore its outcome?

I honestly want to go back in time and change all that happened. I'm avoiding watching the television cz I know I won't be able to bear the constant replays of those events.

If this is what I feel, their families must be going through hell. I wish there was something I could to do to ease off their pain.

P.S. disabling comments for this post

What's the 'F' word now?

*** Disclaimer : If you are below 18 years of age and reading this, you better go elsewhere, because, technically, you shouldn't be reading this post.

And after reading the above disclaimer, if you, yes you, below 18- minor dude/ dudette, is still reading this, let me tell you, I haven't written anything here that'll tickle your hormones... nor are there any pics that'll magnet your eyes to this screen. Basically, there's nothing here, just an aunty-ish drag post about the 'F' word. AND, if you have read till here, and do not yet know what the 'f' word is (which i'm not ready to believe, gotcha!), don't ask your parents what the 'F' word is... you'll get a beating. I'm done lecturing you here!

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I'm sure the rest of you know the 'F' word inside out. Wait a minute, I'm sure everyone knows the 'F' word inside out. Naturally, I'm included in too. However, I have never liked the word. Never even used it - not in public and not even in my own privacy. Never ever. Then why do I write about the word?

I never use it doesn't mean others don't. I know people who use the word instead of a full stop to their sentences. I know people who, when they burn up chant the word like it were a cooling mantra. I know people who say the word and quickly glance around to see if anyone has caught them mouthing the infamous 'F'. People use it with varying degrees of frequency. Each one tailor makes the usage of the word according to their convenience.

I remember staring at one of my classmate at AFP when she uttered the word out LOUD, when she remembered that she'd not done the homework. I must have stared at her till it hurt her soul, because she returned my stare with you-have-a-problem-with-that-girl-? stare back at me. I wasn't shocked, or for that matter devastated to hear it. Just amused.

Today, the word has fallen on my ears so many times, that it no longer makes me raise my eyebrows. nor do i feel uncomfortable when every noun is embellished with that adjective. It could be 'f-ing' rains to 'f-ing' ministers to 'f-ing' nonsense to 'f-ing' female to a 'f-ing' sense of humour. Nowadays the word makes me wanna crack up... which I do when the situation is clowny enough.

Basically used as a swear word, it has definitely lost all its essence. Thanks to the above mentioned. Anyhow, I never thought any swear word was ever justified. But today, I feel that swear words were meant for certain someone(s)... that they exist because people worth them exist. The people that I see around me... with hopeless behaviour, unnecessary arrogance, magnified stupidity, and rudeness beyond comprehension ... I support each and every one who throw the 'f' word at such people. Still I have maintained the sanctity of my language by not using the 'f' word.

Ok, I digressed for a paragraph... but i needed to.

Lately, 'f' resides with everyone as it is the most natural thing in the world. Not that I have a problem with it... it just doesn't register with me. I can't bring myself to use it, under whatever circumstances.... and this is what amazes me. For me its just another word, that has empty meaning and rhymes very much with "yuck". So that totally explains why i never want to use it.

I do not understand this word like I do not understand why people smoke or get drunk. For me the 'f' word is a simple confusion that I'm gonna stand and stare.

Oh, and btw, the under 18 junta, if you are still hanging in here; nothing great right?

ETA :: Also, I find it pretty funny when they beep the word on TV. Its not like people do not know about it. The word flies off so often that I bet children know it too... why bother beeping it then?

Look n Laff

I won't blab much here. Just look at the snaps (Courtesy: my Sony Ericsson W580i) and decide whether to laugh or to cry.

Picture number 1

This paati (board, to all you angrezi understanding people) is put up on my building gate.


Nothing great, but I loved the audacious way of saying "Worries not allowed inside". If only things could be as easy as saying that!!!

Picture Number 2

Let this talk for itself.


This was a poster put up near my library. Couldn't help but capture this beauty!

Morya Aluminium, Manufacturing and Reappearing... eh?

Picture Number 3



Now this!!!! was at more. supermarket. So what does this mean? Any Guesses? Guesses should pour in at the comments section please. and my office people who have already seen this pic and have got the explanation from me, are not eligible for the guessing thingy. Let the others answer.

Picture number 4



God save the Flate selesman!

Picture number 5



I won't say where this was. But this is the latest LOL. And don't you people forget to "While Exiting Please Swith Off All Switches"! he he he he he he....

Picture number 6

This snap has been bothering me since it has been put up in the parking place in our office building. Take a good look at it and then look at what I have to say about it.



1. I have heard "Fire exit" and "Emergency Exit" but never "Fire Staircase". If it is really used anywhere, then I do not know about it. *Yeah right! It is used here! DUH!*

2. If it is a FIRE EXIT, then why the hell is the man climbing stairs?? Why would anyone in his right senses run upstairs in case of fire??

3. Look what's written above! TOILET! So when you are looking at it from far away, the "Fire Staircase" is hardly seen due to light angles. *Just like in this snap, the "CASE" part is not seen. So, doesn't it look like This person is running towards the toilet because he's facing an emergency situation???

Think!

How do I say?

He was scared. How would he face her? How was he going to say those three words to her? It is going to be difficult, he concluded, kicking the stones while heading back home.

He couldn't think straight. All his concentration was gulped down by the realisation that he would have to look into her eyes and speak the ultimate truth. He was sure she loved him, but how would she react once she heard him out? Will she scream? shout? call him names? or just say...

Siiigh! he was going crazy with questions zooming in and out of his brain. He tried to think of something else... someone else... Yet again, he was haunted by her face. Her beautiful, luminous face that would contort with anger and resentment. 'No!, he thought forcefully, things won't be that bad.'

Then again, he considered hiding it from her for a few more days. A few more days to gather courage. A few more days to prevent the outbursts from her, if any. Why not see her smiling for just a few more days? Why not?

'NO!' his brain screamed... 'No, delaying this will not help... and what if she comes to know from someone else? that would be worse' he chided himself for having thought of this option. Now he had reached his frustration point. 'Shit! shit! shit!' he kicked the gravel off his path. There was nothing he could do now... his insides felt like he'd swallowed shards of glass.

He remembered his mom's words "You have to face fear to get over it" Now was the time to try it out. He would tell her... no matter what... he was as determined as a dutiful soldier. He'd now made the resolution. By now, he'd almost reached home. He saw her, standing by the rose bed in the garden. He marched up to her, forcing all the thoughts out of his mind. She looked at him and smiled... that soul stirring smile. He couldn't. He just stretched his hands and thrust the papers in her hand.

He took a deep breath and said 'Mom, I flunked!'

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P.S. Plz no chappals!

Reality... Really?

I gagged on my milk a few days back when I saw apni Rakhi sans make up, with mushroom for a hairstyle, all bloated and shapeless(not that she had any earlier, but still), clutching her stomach as though she was suffering from stomach ringworms. And, she was excitedly calling her 'baby' Elesh, to feel the baby moving inside her. I was like !!!!!!!!!! So fast?? Just 2 months back, (or is it 4?) she was engaged to Elesh, or rather committed to engage to marry later (with its ifs and buts) to Elesh... and pregnant already??!! This was exactly why I gagged... I was thinking it takes 9 months... my knowledge is definitely outdated, I surmised.

Eventually, I came to know it was a wonder caused by "empathy belly". Whatever! Seems that the mothers-to-be-or-not-to-be were not really sporting, and complained of claustrophobia, back aches and many other "inconveniences" of "carrying". From the snippets that I was watching, Shilpa (of Ganga fame, KSBKBT), simply passed on the pregnancto her husband, Apurva(back ache, was it?) If only life was that easy, I thought! Siggh!!

The next episode floored me! Totally! Ladies were now unpregnant (I cannot say they had undergone successful delivery, can i?) and were trying to handle the real babies (in flesh and blood), literally. Babies were clueless and so were the psuedo-parents. The scene was hardly entertaining. It was down right cruel! I do empathize with the pseudo-parents for not having the know-how of being around a baby. I mean, how would anyone without being a parent?

Agreed, kids cry... but, it was a torture to see the babies cry their lungs out. Were they crying out of hunger? of not finding familiar faces of their parents? or what? Whatever it was, it was a gruesome scene. I was more awestruck by the fact that the kids' parents had willfully handed over their kids to be toyed around with. Of course, parents' dutiful tears followed when the human toys had exhausted themselves.

Ever wondered how, in the name of entertainment, there is an exploitation of humanity? of basic sense? of culture? and society in general? Let me not get into a debate by adding stuff like tradition and culture. For, it has been evolving since ages and it sounds too hypocritical and one sided to launch a parole on that. Moreover, defending what is right or wrong seems to have taken a back seat in today's world, where entertainment solely rules the roost.

An influx of desi version of reality shows like Big Brother, The Moment Of Truth, Fear Factor and even Baby Borrowers, have unceremoniously pulled the throne from underneath our reigning "K" queen. Who wants to waste their time watching the glycerine flow when odds are against labelling a virtual stranger on screen a serial liar on Sach ka Saamna?

Coming back to the episode that I watched the other day.... I had tears in my eyes seeing the children suffer. They are too delicate to be manhandled in such a way. Maybe it was unintentional... but why do they have to suffer? These kids were not more than, I guess, 6-7 months old. Aren't they wholly, solely and totally dependent on their parents for every big/ small needs?

Thankfully, there have been complaints regarding this show and the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights have (supposedly) issued notice to the channel to discontinue airing it. The channel however clears its stand saying that PPaW is a foolproof show, where they have ensured that children are in "good hands" and "taken good care of". The channel's claim, whether genuine or not, is still hard to believe. I personally, did not like this concept of manhandling the babies, even if it is for four days. I find these shows ridiculously absurd and unfitting to Indian minds and mentalities.

And, if you are wondering, why inspite of all these arguments I was watching it... I was plain curious, like everyone is.

365 days and more to come

My blog completes a year today! :) This day, last year, around the same time or maybe it was later, with trembling fingers and unsure mind, I started blogging for the second time in my life. I made a small promise not to delete it given my eccentricity and natural pull towards deleting accounts when no one's looking. hee hee hee!

I had actually planned a supprize party for my blog. Was thinking of bringing in a cake with wordings "Happy B'day, Blog" and all. Obviously, my laziness outlived my enthusiasm. Secondary reasons though, were that I'd have to buy the cake, and gobble it myself, putting myself through the torture of gaining a whole kilo which is equivalent to that of the birthday cake... THE whole kilo that I have lost by parking myself in front of a glaring PC screen. I'd also thought of taking my sprinkled few close gals out for drinks (read: nariyal paani), with cameras capturing the odd s(l)ipping moments. But, where did my blog come into the picture? Exactly! nowhere! Heck, my sprinkled few close gals are strangers to my blog, just as I am to a Martian's pet feline from Neptune.

Speaking of strangers, have you ever had to experience an incident when you see a person you have talked with, cracked jokes with, laughed with and bitched about nothings with, yet, YET, cannot register when and where and how you know that person? Forgetting the name is not even on the list, because in the first place, you don't even know it? Felt guilty and embarrassed at the thought of approaching them and saying a "Hi, how do we know each other?", like you have worn pista-green pants with red and orange striped sleeveless collared shirt? Well, something like this happened to me... and I couldn't avoid the "upclose n personal" with the lady in question, at our common library. But, BUT, BUT, my dormant-until-now brain came to my rescue and before I could fumble for an excuse, my right side of the brain supplied the information to the left side of my brain... She was one of my french-class-attending-public.

Anyways public, coming to what I was saying... I cancelled out the large scale celebrations in view of the reasons mentioned above. However, small scale celebration did take place... I ate a small cup cake....well, half of it. Hatred for sweets was handed down to me as legacy.

Speaking of which, my mom was on a complaining spree since yesterday that not me, nor my father has touched the sweet dish she'd made for Dassera and it is lying in the fridge unattended. Thank god for the invention of fridges! No fridge would mean having to finish the sweet dishes made for whatever season, reason or festival in one day flat. Meaning more fights and morer weighty issues.

Weight? Wait! I was talking about the successful 365 days completion of my dear blog! If you have been reading me, rather my blog, from day one, you would know how many of my rants and nonsensical ramblings this blog had to endure. Not that it could do much about it, but it has complained in its own small ways... like saying "Could not contact blogger. com. Saving and publishing may fail...retrying"... and that statement has never failed to get me down on my knees praying for the blogger to cooperate. and cooperate it did... eventually... after I hit the "save" button with threatening furor.

Have you ever felt threatened by the things happening around you? Like I have been? Threatened... not like scary threatened. Threatened like challengingly threatened. Where you lose your several nights' sleep thinking how to emerge victorious? Where you indulge in scheming without realizing? Where you jump at a slightest provocation? Where you promise yourself that you won't sleep peacefully until you have had the chance to get even?

Even when I write all this, I still realise that I'm supposed to be talking about my blog. But whatodo? I have these timed chemical injections in my brain that just flow through my veins, pour out of my fingers onto the kb and eventually on the blog. It is an involuntary movement that I can hardly wish to stop.

So, here's wishing my blog a Habby Dabby Budday!! with lotsa mad, sad, happy grave, nonsensical, mature, idiotic, thought provoking moments to come in the future.

However, my (very close) proud blog moments were
1. When I meet one of my schoolmates at a friend's wedding and the second sentence she says "Your blog is lovely. You write well ya!" (This is a schoolmate, classmate rather with whom, I'd lost contact since our SSC result day)

2. When my interviewers ask me my writing experience and I quote my blog. They ask for my blog URL then n there, feed it in their browser and check it up in front of me and say "Impressive... I can see many people have liked what you have written!" and

3. One boring morning at the office, I find an exhilarating mail from Mahesh saying "We find your blog interesting and would like to feature it...."

Once again, Happy Birthday to my second term as a blogger! AND, here's wishing my blog commentors a "Happy Anniversary!!" 365 days of togetherness means a lot to me. You have been very encouraging, lovely, enthu, supporting, loving and a grrrrreat audience. I'm sure you understand the intoxication of a fully filled "comments" section. ;) Well, treat yourselves to a nice black forest cake, on my behalf, from Bakers' Basket while I go back to contemplating the risk of additional 1 kg.