Day 11 : Blogathon is good!

Yes, it is! :) Makes me feel good despite the obvious physical illness. I came to know that there are so many shy readers. Just when I was almost thinking that blogging is a dead activity; there have been many people who restored my faith in blogging. I am surprised at all the comments/ praises/ suggestions that I get from people, who I never knew knew that I even had a blog.

It is difficult to find something worth publishing here. Nevertheless, when I see my efforts are not going un appreciated, I feel great. I guess that's what keeps me going and thinking every minute of the day "hmmm... what do I write today?"

Yesterday, we were out and I started feeling feverish. By the time we got home, it was hard for me to even open my eyes. Suddenly, I remembered, 'hey, I said to the worrying husband, I haven't updated my blog for today.' The baffled angry look on his face was worth every bit of uttering that courageous statement.

'For once will you listen to me? Stop thinking and take rest.' he said. And that was that. I did not dare say anything.

He let me lie down for a while and after some 15 mins he came with the lappy in his hand, 'Update your blog.' he said. This was not the "husband" talking, this was my best friend who understood and respected my commitment of blogging continually for 30 days.

I think half of my fever ran away right then!

Day 10 : Sick leave

Oh! Am I not feeling well! Excuse or reason, whatever you wanna call it - I am typing in midst of shivering, 'bzzzzz' in ears, 'gzzzzzzzzzzzz' in my brain and upset tum tum. Stupid weather!

Day 9 : Good times

I have realized that it is important to cherish every moment in life spent with your loved ones. You never know  when they will go away (or you will), and you never know whether or not you'll have the opportunity to get together again to live and celebrate the friendship. 

This post goes out to my dear and close friend, Shweta, who made life possible and livable in USA; whose kindness has touched me beyond words; whose patience is worth worshiping. 

Shweta, you rock! 

Day 8 : Some new things

There are somethings that you are fully aware of, but still won't acknowledge it, or practise it. Like for eg. smokers know smoking is bad for health, yet the addiction sticks; you know cheating is not good but still you do it; like talking behind some one's back is wrong but you hardly refrain from it. There are so many things as such, perhaps much smaller than what I mentioned here. We are all culprits, "me" highlighted. I have decided to bring these small changes in my life, which I hope will last.

1. I pray before I sleep. Pray for well being, good health and strength and courage to face hardships. Pray for good wishes for everyone. Amma used to tell me that she never prays for money, she always asked for courage. Earlier I was just like any other individual, thanking when job was done, begging when I needed something badly. Now, I realize it is important to thank for small things in life which make it worth living. 

2. I am trying (and succeeding) in keeping my laziness away to do small things and procrastinating habits. This is keeping me generally happy and upbeat. 

3. I try and talk out my feelings. Either to KK or my close friend. I feel relaxed to open up and share my thoughts. 

4. I write. Though I do  ot publish it anywhere, I write. It is cathartic.

5. I enjoy things -  small and big. Smile with a smile is my motto now.

This is just a beginning. There are a lot of things that I want to adopt and start with, though there are some hiccups, some distractions, some apprehensions. Will work on them from time to time. 

P.S. Would someone be kind enough to educate me on "whether discontinuing Yoga (temporarily) will backfire and result in gaining double the weight. Would love to start yoga for general well-being. But there is this but! 

Day 7 : Just...

Spring is here, bringing along with it some new beginnings, new relations, new dreams, new outlook.

We are all for welcoming it (not without my outbursts of how I hate the unpredictable spring weather). We are having friends over for dinner, and it is gonna be one night to remember. With some people leaving us (temporarily, we're hoping), it is gonna be bitter-sweet. We are looking forward to the sweet part. Bitter can wait.

Just wrote this down now, to mark a date and not forget it in future. Maybe, one day, when we read this and feel nostalgic, April 23rd won't be just another day!

Day 6 : Stranger Duties

'Excuse me?! Are you done? I need to make an urgent call.' I said to the woman standing in front of me. She was still holding the telephone receiver in her hand; although what seemed to be a conversation, had ended minutes ago. I looked at my watch and the time was running. 'I have to make the call', I screamed in my head. I thought of tapping her, but decided against it. I was almost ready to blow my top for I was getting impatient. I couldn't see the point of romancing the phone long after all the talking was done.

What he could not see, was my agony, my pain. What he could not see, were my eyes clouded with tears. What he could not see, was the storm that was surging through me. He just couldn't see. How could I blame him? The news that had fallen on my ears had shattered me. I was beyond thinking. I was numb. I was scared. And, at that moment, I was all alone. I must have fainted; for I remember seeing stars before my eyes and blacking out.

Before I knew it, this woman in front of me collapsed suddenly. I was confused. I didn't know how to help her. Should I even touch her? There were not too many people in sight. Those who were, didn't seem to care much for a lady swooning at a phone booth. She needs medical help I guessed. Thankfully, I always carry a bottle of water. I realized the lady had been crying and suffering too. Tears streaked her cheeks and her lips were colorless.

I was feeling cold and hot at the same time. It was like sitting in a tub of cold water while burning with fever. As I revived, this gentleman was holding me, trying to get me drink some water. 'Are you ok? Are you ok?' he was asking continually. I managed to utter that I was fine. But the state in which I was, couldn't even fool a blind man! I started crying at my misery. I was crying at my helplessness. Tears could hardly justify the angst in me.

She was hardly making any sense to me. She babbled like a child. I wonder if she was saying she is fine or otherwise. I waited for someone else to come by and extend a helping hand. People must have thought we were just lovers making up after a tiff. I was holding her close to me - more out of humanity than pity. I asked her what was so wrong. She finally decided to control her convulsions and talk. 'Its my younger brother... he.. he tried to kill himself. He had gulped down almost a bottle of sleeping pills. Neighbour had called to inform... my phone had no balance.... he is dying. He is dying!!!!' She let out another wail.

I don't know why I needed to burden him with my worries. After all, it was my brother who'd taken the extreme step. My brother was dying. Why should he bother? I found myself in new set of questions. I was supposed to reach the hospital. How was I going to do that? I was feeling nauseated. I was wiped out of my strength.

'Which hospital is it? I have a car... I can drop you there.' I couldn't believe my own ears! I said that? I was to make a really urgent call and here I was, offering a free ride to some unknown female!! I wanted to slap myself. What if she was a thug and this was her routine. Besides, it was not a busy hour. Victims like me were easy. However, I saw raw genuineness in her which moved me enough to help her.

Today, after 17 years, I still remember that man who helped me when I was helpless. Hadn't it been for him, I would have never been able to hold my little brother's hand while he was dying. I never got around to asking his name. I don't even remember thanking him during such tormenting situation. God bless the stranger who was kind enough to do all this for me.

Today, after 17 years, I still remember that woman who I thought was romancing the phone receiver. I never got around to making that important phone call. I lost some lifetime opportunities. But I still do not regret my decision of helping her out.

Day 5 : Connect disconnect

Isn't it amazing how you lose contact with a person for many years and suddenly one day, just like that, they find you like a needle in a hay stack! This has happened twice with me. And both the times it was through social networking sites!

It is ironic, where one newly-made friend is going far far away; an old friend is reconnecting. Something like "doobte ko tinke ka sahara"?

Just wondering...