How people change

One moment they are friendly, the next they behave strangely obtuse! Such are some people, who have the knack to turn down others without as much of remorse. Apparently, there is no reason for such change in behaviour. Or rather, if there is, it is hardly communicated, which leaves the other person in turmoil of emotions in addition to being clueless. 

The same thing has happened to us. There was this family (R) we knew since a long time back. Long time means around 10-15 years. In fact, their daughters were the same age as V and me. Let's call them Sm and Sy respectively. R-Aunty was also pretty friendly and chatty. The families were introduced through me and Sy. Although in different schools, we used to often talk/ discuss about our curriculum. She was my playmate too. That brought us really close. Eventually, R-aunty decided to pay us a visit. 

Friendship between my mom and R aunty also blossomed. Idle chats, coming over for tea, invitations for pooja and every other small things that is involved in women friendship was present. As time passed by, trust and faith seemed to deepen. Soon R-aunty started opening her heart to my mom. She would often speak about her domestic hitches. How her husband would not provide enough money at home, how it was difficult for her to manage expenses despite her salary, how insensitive the girls were, how they don't pay attention to studies, how her husband was least bothered about savings, how in this world was she going to get her daughters married etc. 

She would often come to our place to unload her baggage. She said it relieved her to speak it out to my mom, as she was a good listener and her advice made sense to her deranged mind. She would also come for small favours. "I will not be home today evening when Sy comes home. Can she stay here till I return?", "Do you have a change for Rs. 100?", "Would you mind taking Marathi tutions for Sy? Both (me and Sy) are in the same class. You can teach her when you teach your daughter."

One day there was an unusual favour asked "Can I tie Rakhi to your husband? He's like an elder brother to me."My mom heeded to this humble request. That year during Raksha bandhan, R aunty came armed not just with a pretty Rakhi but also gifts for all of us. Mom felt a bit uncomfortable at this, since we had only bought a sari for her. In spite of politely denying her gifts for us, she insisted that my mom was now like a bhabhi to her and we were like her own children. 

As days passed by; which eventually became months; R aunty would be a regular visitor. Every time she would wail out her woes, curse her husband and say how lucky my mom was to have such a beautiful household. She would sing praises of her new "bhaiyya" and nephew and niece. 

These sessions started getting a bit out of hand. Every single day, she would come and start crying. Ours was a happy household. In spite of hardships, we were never dissatisfied. Even in worst situations, we have never seen our parents slapping their foreheads. Neither did they like that. It would thus be very awkward and uncomfortable for us when she continued her lamentations. 

Mom still didn't have a heart to tell her directly that what she was doing was undesirable. Discreetly, however, she made R aunty understand that problems were every where and crying over them would never help. She said the first thing you should do is stop grinding the problem, instead look for a solution and work upon it. If husband was not supportive, then it was time for her to involve her daughters and take them into confidence. If they never came to know of their mother's hardships, how were they going to help? 

Thankfully, these words of wisdom did have a positive effect on her and slowly the sad visits dwindled. Her problems seemed negligible before her enthused self. She truly rescued herself from miseries. 

The Raksha bandhan stint lasted for just 3 years. After that she conveniently forgot all about her "elder brother" whom she worshipped. Although, all this time she was friendly and would discount a polite conversation on two whenever we met. Growing kids left no time for idle afternoon chat. Thus, meetings were strictly restricted to meeting on the way to the market. 

Within some more months, some more changes took place. Where my mom was always the first one to be invited for all sorts of poojas to her place, now she came to know of them through other ladies. Not just that, R aunty started avoiding talking to her even on the way to the market. Whenever they met, she would only answer the questions asked and try to get away as soon as possible. 

At first, we didn't pay much attention to this. Mom disregarded it saying probably she was caught up in something. 

We shifted our house when V was getting married. She was invited for the reception. There she was her usual self. Showering blessings on the couple and filling N with details and saying how lucky she was to be in the family. Naturally we thought all was well. 

Since we'd moved to a new area (though not too far from our old house) crossing paths with R aunty was rare. Whenever it did, one would think there'd be hour long chats exchanging pleasantries and swapping news. Instead, R aunty started looking the other way, and sometimes even resorted to crossing roads just to avoid my mom. 

Through Orkut, I came to know her elder daughter, Sm, got married. Among 500 odd people that were invited, we were blissfully forgotten. Decked in gold and diamond jewelry, the bride was looking stunning. Not to mention the exquisitely decorated, orchid filled mandap! 

Not being invited didn't hurt as much as not being informed at all even after meeting by chance after the wedding. Mom did not bother asking. She was way too dignified to demand an explanation for the same. Recently again mom was face to face with her. And it certainly isn't her nature to insult any person standing in front of her. She acknowledged R aunty with a smile and got back as much as a grimace from her. 

Through some sources, we came to know that R aunty holds a high position in her work place now. Mom wonders if this fact has some thing to do with the haughtiness in her attitude. Is financial position a valid reason to strike off friendships? To forget those who have been there when needed? To throw people off your life like they were a fly in the milk?

If that was the case, my mom should have never befriended her in the first place. There was a time in our lives too when there was not a single Re. in the house to be spared for extra expenses. Hardships knocked hard on our doors too. Parents have dealt with such situations maturely, not once letting it show on their faces. Relationships are the same as they were before. A promotion from 2 bedroom house to a large 3 bedroom house; from a second hand Premier Padmini to a Honda City and Alto; from unemployment to high post salary did not even once affect the good relations we have had with people all along. 

I wonder whatever went wrong. I wonder why people change. I wonder how is it justified. 

Is it how people are meant to be? Or are we living in prehistoric times?

Because, I am PREGNANT!

Once I broke the news to my friends, a lot of them bombarded me with questions! Many asked how I felt, others asked when did I find out, and many more related questions. My feelings never found justifiable words and nor can there be any, for this is far more than just being euphoric! 

When did I find out? 

It was in April end - May start that I had my initial suspicion with the first obvious symptom of any pregnancy. Still, I waited and waited for the second symptom, i.e puking, which never came. As a result, I was confused. In my confusion, I consulted my clueless husband. Who else could I turn to? I didn't want to cause disappointment to parents (who, as always, were waiting with baited breath for the "good news") if it was a false alarm.

Husband shrugged an I-don't-know-what-to-do. I waited some more. Mid May, I thought it was best to start with a home pregnancy kit. We went to the local pharmacy. And boy! what range of pregnancy test kits!! I could hardly choose. 

Again, I asked my clueless husband, "Which one?"

"Don't ask me. I hardly know these things." 

"Like I know a lot of it!!!", I shouted back irritated. Pregnancy hormones were already surging through me. Husband looked at me from top to bottom, screening me as if something had got me. I quickly apologized and said nervousness made me do that. 

I was so excited that I decided to put it to test on the same evening. I ended up doing everything wrong, and not even a single strip turned blue! I knew I was competent enough to screw things, so intelligently, I had chosen the kit which had two strips. 

I then patiently read the instructions and slapped my forehead. I was supposed to keep it lying for 2 minutes. Instead, I was holding it in my hands vertically for five minutes and wondering what the hell was wrong! 

I decided not to waste the second one and was eager for next morning. 

Husband collapsed on the bed at 5 AM for he was working whole night. That was when I woke up and could hardly go back to sleep. I was not feeling pee-ish either. I had to count seconds till then. I wanted to shake my husband awake and talk gibberish. However, the realisation that he was up all night, didn't leave me with much option. 

At 7AM, I decided I had to do it. With shaky hands and drowsy mind, I dragged my feet to the bathroom and did the needful, exactly the way it was instructed. I thought it would take forever for the 2 minutes to slip by. It didn't. Before I knew it, my eyes were clouded with tears. Holding the 2 blue stripped device, I ran to the bedroom, shook the now-groggy husband and waved the thing in front of him. I was choking and words just wouldn't come out. 

I hugged him and must have wailed like a baby myself. "I am preggy" I said in between sobs. 

"It's going to be alright. Don't worry." he tried consoling me, while patting the back of my head. 

"I KNOW it is going to be alright!! I am not worried! I am crying because I am happy." the hormones made me shot back again! 

What followed then was calls to our parents. Incidentally, it was my parent's wedding anniversary when we told them. Their happiness knew no bounds, as was that of my in laws. Advices, congratulations and blessings  poured in through international calls!

Everything was confirmed with a subsequent doctor's appointment and ultrasound. :) 

Everything happy happy, isn't it? You wish!

The puking business started a few days after the doc visit. I had evening sickness. It would start roughly at the time when KK came home from office. Naturally, he bore the brunt of my mad hormones. I have screamed at him for coming home late, when I knew he was working. I threw a fit when I didn't like a movie. I took offence and retaliated at every little general statements he made. 

All this would be my mood, before puking. After the oral combat stage, I had a stage of "something is happening to me. DO SOMETHING!" I knew poor KK had no clue and more than that no means of making me feel better than his soothing words. But I wanted someone to pull me out of the misery. 

Let me not discuss my miseries here. I am far more happier now to discuss those times. 

That nice, dear husband of mine did everything that he could. I wonder how he bore the "First Trimester Monster" that had become of me. 

"Because, I am PREGNANT!" was the only sentence I spoke in those days. It indeed was my way or the highway for him. He decided to always take my way just to keep his preggy lady happy! 

Looking back at it all, I have a multitude of feelings. I am amazed at KK's strength and determination, not to give up on me; his bigheartedness to ignore my sometimes very sly comments; his ability to hold and comfort me; his stamina to work at office and at home. I feel sad that I haven't been able to do much for him during that time, except throw tantrums and tears despite my efforts not to do so. And somethings were plain hilarious.

'I don't like the shirt you are wearing today!', 'Why?', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!'

'Don't tell me about your friends!', 'Why?', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!'

The first thing in the morning I said 'I wanna eat pav Bhaji, right now!', 'What? Now?? Why?', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!' No points for guessing, he made the most delicious pav bhaji for me that instant. 

'Don't go to the office today!.', 'Why?', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!' (which was not heeded to, since now he had learnt to see when I was genuinely flaunting my mood swings and when I was faking it)

'I don't like that woman in blue.', 'Why? What has she done to you?', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!'

'I want to go out now!', 'Why? the sky is overcast and it will pour any minute!', 'Because, I am PREGNANT!' (He did take me out for a ride when it poured so badly that we could hardly even make out the tail light of the car in front of us.)

KK, I love you! And this is not just 'Because, I am PREGNANT!'

Baby Update - 06/08

Recently, I had my monthly check up and boy! do I look forward to them!

Well, I expected an ultrasound, just so that I could take a peek at Jr. again. I wondered if I could get a glimpse of tiny arms, legs and head moving about. Alas! No U/S this month, the doc said; next month! Me is counting days till September 5th now. 

Anyhow, it was the usual. Doc asked me if I eat. I am sure she meant nutritional. I thought I did, and said a confident 'yes'. After all, I eat only home cooked delicious meals. However, the stupid weight machine revealed that my weight has increased only by 1kg since the last month. And I am now ordered to put on 2 kgs per month. 

Do you drink milk? she asked.

Yes, I do. I said. 

Do you add Horlics/ Bournvita to it?

Errrrr......

Well, since childhood, me and Horlics/ Bournvita/ Boost/ Complan have 36 ka aakda! I have always prefered plain milk. But now, things are different. Other than Horlicks (which I have in the morning), there's another powder which I am supposed to add to milk at night! 

Anything for my Jr.!

Except the weight, everything is pretty normal, she said. I also got a Tetanus shot. Next one due next month. 

 In a nutshell ::

5th Month : 17 weeks

Weight : 55 kgs

Tum-tum : Starting to pop out, just a bit; certainly not showing.

Diet : 8 AM : Overnight soaked almonds

8: 30 AM : Breakfast + Calcium pills

10 AM : Milk with Horlicks and something to eat (most of the times, some fruit)

12:-30 - 1:00 PM : Lunch + Milk

5 PM : Coffee with something to eat

7 PM : Timepass snacks (Baby craves, not me)

8: 30 - 9:00 PM - Dinner

10 PM - Milk with nutritional powder and folic acid pill

Well, people keep asking me what I do to pass my time, now that I am out of my routine. There is perhaps not a lot what I do, physically. I read, I write (not just blog), I take time to talk to my in laws (this is the first time that I get to live with them since wedding, so I am making the most of it by trying to get to know them and vv), talk to mommy, who is always full of do's n don'ts even when we speak every day of the week, sometimes I prepare something in the KITCHEN and then there's always internet. 

When I am doing none of the above, I take rest, or I look at the fishes in our cute aquarium. I am pretty much interested in watching them swim, eat their food, nibble at each others tail. Cute lill folks!

Next update will be in September. With the ultrasound, YAY! and hopefully me heavier by 2 kgs! :) ;)

***Highlight*** I am already feeling flutters in my tum tum. It goes even before I can widen my eyes in amazement. I so LOVE them! Jr.'s starting to make me aware of his/her presence. :) I hope s/he kicks hard soon! :D :D

Why do I read? - Tagged by Uma

Hmm... interesting question indeed!

Why? Well, let me begin by answering 'what'. As far as memory allows me to stretch it, I remember flicking through Archie's comics even before I could read words. Those vivid colourful pages were a bonus to V's animated laughter. I loved the goofy expressions on the characters' faces; they made me laugh. I guess, my eyes read pictures before they read words. Slowly as schooling progressed and improved my reading ability, I graduated to reading the comic instead of simply enjoying the scenes.

Champak, Tinkle, Chandamama, Panchatantra, Amar Chitra Katha, Chacha Choudhary, Billo, Pinky followed soon after. School library and friends who dared to smuggle story books in bag packs were the sources. I read these books until mid-teens. I was not yet ready for anything colourless and devoid of pictures. Soon as I subscribed to a nearby library, my reading horizon began widening. Nancy Drew became my first best friend, which was immediately followed by Famous Fives, Secret Sevens and the likes.

Romance with Mills and Boons was pretty short. I found all the books same and boring. In stead, Harry Potter's magical world renewed my enthusiasm. Sidney Sheldon mermerised me. The first ever Sidney Sheldon book that I laid my hands on was "Nothing Lasts Forver" and the second, "Tell Me Your Dreams". Both left me stupefied and I discovered a new place yet again in the booksworld. Many Daniel Steele, John Grisham, Jeffery Archer books later, I am currently into fiction by Indian authors and short stories.

Coming to the point: I am a highly imaginative person. Perhaps my imaginations are not always vocal, but it runs wild and weird. Reading books have massaged that factor in me. I don't read words; they just help me to build a pictorial story in my mind. That's why I can laugh better, feel the pain and understand many emotions that are portrayed in a book.

Like the movie 'Inception' where dreams are designed, I can architect an entire book in my mind. And if I happen to read the book for the second time, I see the same world unfurling before me.

I like spiralling in a world, which is created by someone yet enjoyed by me. I prefer reading to movies.  I believe I have better imagination than any movie director.

Reading brings me peace and stoical calm. It is my meditation and sometimes my medication too. It puts my swirling mind to rest.

In spite of the above, I cannot claim to consume books at the rate at which I would like to. I don't read everyday. Nor do I read everything that I ideally would want to. I cannot proceed if I cannot draw a clear picture. I am picky. I am finicky. And I am not a voracious reader. Compared to what other book lovers have devoured, I am at the grass root level. And perhaps I may not rise from there.

I read what satisfies me. I do not read because my friend reads it/ likes it/ recommends it. I cannot. I cannot read just because the book is a bestseller. I read it because it appeals to me in a certain manner. I have liked some unheard-of books, and I have hated some award winning ones. I have my own tastes. I shy away from recommending books since I am not sure if it'll please others or not.

One more thing, I like books. Physical books. Not Kindles and Apple e-book readers. I adore turning pages. I love searching for the last read page. For that matter, I don't even like using bookmarks. I like being around books. Take me for an evening outing to any biiiiig library or Crosswords with lots of books; and I will be forever indebted to you.

I would love to pass on this book love to my children. Hope that happens.

Currently reading :: "Indian Voices", a compilation of short stories, prose, poetry by Indian authors.

(The stories are winning entries of some competition that was held some time back. One of the authors is my best friend, Shweta Virmani-Mehta)

Thank you again, Uma for this wonderful tag. I am open to such kinds of tags in future. Keep me in mind. :)

I tag Nitin "Dagabaaz" Prabhu! :P

What's new? Here's what!!!!

I am back! Not just to the blogging world but I am back home!!! :) :) :) It feels incredible! Excruciatingly incredible! I just cannot stop smiling.

Well, there's another reason why I cannot stop smiling. A bigger reason. And the biggest reason behind me coming back home is, soon

in January. :D

So me is a mixed bag of all emotions right now. Elation, nervousness, scared, jumpy.... every imaginable emotions I have gone through since we found out that a new chapter in our life is gonna unfold. Am I prepared? Am I well equipped to handle everything that comes along with it? Don't know! But sure as hell we are over the moon, not to mention the ever waiting set of grandparents!!!

FYI, a few weeks in the first trimester, made us go through hell. Like many others, I had my bouts of nausea, weepiness, crankiness, vomiting etc. KK became my godmother during that entire period. It was certainly a bigger hell for him, having to balance me with my bizzare hormones , the entire household - complete with cooking, cleaning, laundry and his ever demanding work. I am not sure what he ate or didn't during that time. I was so selfishly self involved!

I love him for being so patient, caring and most of all understanding my situation, even though it was first time for him to handle a major, inexplicable situation. One moment I was laughy, next I was screaming and in a while I had tear soaked cheeks. Every time I was met with hugs and "don't worry, everything's gonna be fine". And eventually everything is fine.

Currently, it is lambi judaai for both of us. He will be coming back to India in December. I am not very happy with the prospect of staying away from him for such a long period of time, but I had to give in to the demands of the situation. :( Still 20 weeks for KK to come here!

Yenniway, the highlights up to date.

We got to hear our baby's heartbeat during my last checkup in America! There are 160 doog doog doog heart beats per minute. It is healthy and normal. Whew!

And, during the first checkup here, I had an ultrasound and me and KK got first glimpse of our little one. Kk Jr. is 8 cms long :D!!!  Kk Jr. was actively somersaulting and tumbling merry. I had tears in my eyes. We also saw a tiny part on the left go dhak dhak dhak. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I can still hardly believe all this is true. Small arms and legs, not very distinct, were still moving ... and aaaaahhh!! I cannot explain my feelings further!

For now, I am at my in laws place, enjoying all the attention and lovely food prepared by my incredibly sweet MIL. (Now, I know where KK gets all his kindness from... its genetic). I will be going to Pune (YAY!!) in October to eat all mom made food!

Indeed! Pregnancy is the time to get pampered and loved and send orders in every direction. No one says anything. hehehehe...

Please flood the comment section and make this preggy gal happy! I like congratulatory messages and take care advices too! :)

P.S. Dare anyone calls me "pregnant woman", I prefer (and demand) "preggy gal".

Image courtesy : http://mangocallalily.blogspot.com/2011/04/waiting-for-stork.html I just googled it.

Times when he was

Insecure

Scene 1 : Watching "America's Next Top Model"

She : oooooh! Look at that shade of her purple evening gown!! I would die for that color.... oooooh!!!

He : (puppy face) Don't die, please? I will buy you something in that exact shade of purple.


Scene 2 : Bedtime - me checking emails in the hall; he ready to hit the sack. 

He : Are you planning to leave me?

She : (realizes what got his eye and rolls her eyes)

He : Are you leaving me? Why are you reading this book called "Dump'em - Ways to dump everyone from your hairdresser to your boyfriend"?

She : I am not dumping you. I found it funny. I got it.

He : No more library trips for you! It gives you ideas.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Witty

Scene 1 : Morning - She making dosa. He ready for office, munching dosa with chutney (which is almost over)

She : You finished the chutney in the bowl? I had poured it for the both of us.

He : (stops eating. makes a face) You should tell me beforehand no? I wouldn't have finished it all.

She : That's ok. Now don't make saddy faces. Else, I'll make you grind chutney for me right now.

He : I know. That's why I made the face!



Scene 2 : Watching the Tanishq ad featuring Big B gifting Diamond necklace to Jaya Bachchan.

She : oooooh! Look he's gifting his wife a diamond necklace.

He : (no answer)

She : I said "he is gifting his wife a diamond necklace."

He : (no answer)

She : (decides there is no point in trying discretion) When are you gonna gift me a nice diamond necklace, just like that?

He : (without skipping a beat) When we become as old as them, just like that!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oversmart

She : Why did you marry me?

He : Because you were nice.

She : No, real reason. What made you marry me? Kya dekha mujhme?

He : Because you were good to talk to.

She : No. No re baba. Like real real reason. Why? Now tell me.

He : I just took a chance and asked you, phir tu toh piche hi pad gayi.

Day 30 : Blogathon Ends

Its that day today! Its been a month since I started this blogathon and I am glad that I have done my 30 posts.

I have to say, it wasn't easy. It sounded the other way when I decided to jump in the blogathon bandwagon. How difficult could be 30 posts, I thought. I admit, it was way too tough to think everyday for a new post. There were times when I was really enthu about writing something and times when I stared at the blank screen for as long as an hour. Those were the times when lame posts came into being. I would excuse myself on that, for this was my first blogathon. Maybe I'll get better next year when I do this blogathon again.

I want to thank each and everyone who has been kind enough to write a few words of encouragement and suggestions. Even those who did not, have approached me personally to say they are quite keeping up with my blogathon and are looking forward to my posts. How encouraging was that. All that appreciation, all those prep up words are really special and close to my heart. :) Thank you soooo much! And you know who you are!

Its been a long month; I am gonna take a break from blogging, that is until I find something really amazing to blog about, which I hope wouldn't be long.

until then, stay happy.