It Takes Two to Tango

This Valentine's day, it wasn't about red roses or cute teddy bears... We have gone through that. I cannot say we have outgrown that phase or that we find it teenager-ish to express emotions through flowers and cakes. I can say, "far yet so near" was our theme for this Valentine's. It's all about love, and whether expressed with gifts or without them hardly matters.

2 years back when our "lhau" was new-new, that bouquet of roses and cake felt mushy. My heart would melt thinking about him. It'd whirl, skip a beat and swell with such novel emotion lately tasted. Prospects of starting an exciting life with a person who you loved and who loved you back (so dearly) made me go weak in knees.

The previous year's V-day was special too; that which was celebrated as a romantic double date with friends! We never thought what future would hold for us - all we knew was that it was time we enjoyed each other's company. Hand in hand, each time that our eyes met, we knew we were not perfect beings but we have our tuning in sync and wavelengths ebb and surge at the same level.

Having taken our relationship to an altogether different platform, today I realise that love can have different shades and shadows. It can change forms, it can evolve for the better. Perhaps I can no longer call it new love, but it still is fresh, thriving and blossoming. I got the customary roses and cake for my birthday. However, this time around, I couldn't fuss much over them. I'd a much more important souvenir of love to look after.

Our life has metamorphosed - for the better - through rough patches and smooth ends. If I had to allot a colour to my life, I'd say it was pink earlier, now it is a tinge darker. Today, I find myself embraced in the warmth of his love and care. I'm sure in the coming years it is going to transform into deeper shades of pink, into red to blazing red and finally there'll be a glow that'll never faze out. The journey till there will demand a lot from us individually. We are ready - in fact looking forward to so many things in life.

From the day I got married, I have known what "plenitude" means. And I have never looked back. I have never missed parents' love or their care or even my freedom. I haven't missed friends' support, I have never found myself lacking in anything. Not that I'm saying I don't need them anymore; but there's always been more than I have asked for.

This year we have lived in installments. Together for 3 months, apart for next 3 - for the whole year. It has also been full of conflicting emotions. Tears reigned. For I've felt like a messy, emotional blob. I have missed him like I never thought I could miss anyone. I craved for his banter, complaints, and also his weird choices of movies. I still do.

If he can turn me from a stubborn-unromantic-who-hates-gooey-love to a hopelessly-head-over-heels-in-love-with-him, then he can do anything under the sun. Being miles away, he still sends my breath for a toss, he has the power to bring happy tears to my eyes. Just like right now.

Sometimes, I love him so much that I hate him. And he knows exactly what I mean by that. ;) ;)

That's us! On 14th February 2011

Of Awards and Rewards

Yes, this is mine now! :D 

 

This is my first blog award! Uma, a fellow blogger, finds me worthy enough to be a proud recipient of "The Versatile Blogger" award. Thanks a ton, Uma! It feels great to be appreciated for something you do so passionately!


Well, this isn't just an award to be displayed; there's also a tag. :) I'm happy to oblige!


Rules for the tag :




1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award


2. Nominate 15 other bloggers and inform them of the same


3. Share 7 Random facts about yourself


And,


4. Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your Blog Post


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I am no one to judge how good or deserving a blog is. So I am gonna give out this award to the bloggers whose blogs I really look forward to reading... In random order


1. Namratha : Her blog, Grey Shades has many more shades than just Grey! The posts reflect her thoughts so clearly that I can see Namratha thinking! Some of those thought provoking ones are loaded with sublime humour. She makes you think, she opens your eyes and she's never afraid to call a spade, a spade.

That's why I like her and her blog too!

2. Nandita : Nandita's Little Space is full of awesome stuff and still not cluttered. I think you should read her to know what I am talking about. Sometimes she makes me go "Damn! Now, how come I didn't think of writing about this?" :)

3. Nitin : He has streaks of journalistic writing. His blog is often related to facts and current stuff going on around us. Certainly not for someone who's looking to read for time pass. His lucid posts are out there making a point; there's always a direction to his posts - never diverting or random.

You can read him at I Am, Therefore I Think!!!

4. Phatichar : Calls himself Phatichar, but his blog is anything but that. The fiction he writes is mindblowing. Although I have not read as much as I'd have loved to read, I think he deserves it for those awesome stories.

5.  Preeti Shenoy  : She is one of my favorite authors! If you have just read her books and like her; you should definitely read her blog that is frequently updated - You'll fall in love with her!!! Conferring this award upon her  is like Tusshar Kapoor presenting the Lifetime Achievement Award to Amitabh Bachchan!

Why I love her? Her posts are full of optimism, fresh and interactive. Not only does she write wowsome, she also makes sure to respond to each and every comment for her posts.

6. Rachana : I can hardly believe that its the same girl who blogs here. I have never met her, but we have been chatting online for some years now. She is an absolute nutcase which feeds my innate necessity of being crazy too! She has blogging ka brain alag and chatting ka brain alag! I am not nominating her for being my online friend, it's truly her blog that qualifies to this award.

7. Aparna : It's been quite a while since she updated her blog, but she still remains one of my favourite blog writers. I hope this tag will bring her back to the blogging world. Follow this link to her blog.

8. Uma : Of course, she already owns this one. Yet, just to let know that her blog rocks too!

I am modifying this tag a bit. Instead of gloating about me as always, let me take this opportunity to thank all my readers, and I mean ALL! I used to feel a wee bit dejected when I didn't find overflowing comments for my posts and also that I never got any "blogger awards". But then, there came so many encouraging mails, praises and feedback from friends and relatives that I do feel greatly appreciated.

You know who you all are! Thank you so much for taking some time to write to me. It is rewarding to accept your good wishes and blessings. You have great deal of faith in me, and many expectations. When I receive such emails from you (often so unexpectedly), even when they are one liners, it makes my day.I do hope to continue entertaining you as always and bore you a little too. :)

My Babe...

I'm at loss of words when I try to say something about my daughter. It sounds vague but I still have phases of disbelief that I have given birth to a baby. She is miraculous, angelic and devilish at the same time.

I had a planned C -section. I was admitted to the hospital the night before, and what a night that was! Full of anticipation, excitement, and relief that finally those 9 months have gone by. Fear was overshadowed by all these emotions. In fact, I even took permission to take a look at the OT. The wide array of neatly kept instruments and vials of medicines looked appealing. 

The next day, in semi conscious state, I saw the nurse take my baby away for cleaning. I was surprised even then, like I never expected a baby to come out of me!!

'That's it? Done?' I asked the doctors.

'Yes. Of course.' one of them replied and smiled.

'So, is it a girl or a boy?'

'What did you want?'

'Umm... let's see... my husband wanted a boy and I wanted a girl. Who won?'

'You did. It's a girl.'

I was stupefied... for all those experienced ladies'(including my mom and MIL) predictions that I was gonna have a baby boy, I had pink in store for me. I was proud... I was super happy. My deep,secretly hidden wish to bear a daughter was fulfilled. 

That's her! Crying in full glory!

We named her 'Aarnavi', which means as large hearted as an ocean. The name was decided by me and KK, long time back. We loved the meaning and the way it sounded. 

Mothering is not an easy task. Just because moms make it look simple, doesn't mean it is a cake walk. There have been times when I have broken down and cried over not being able to be a perfect mom. I realise that even I need time to get adjusted to the baby. Physically as well as emotionally. 

I was in huge emotional mess due to physical constraints. Delivering C section came with its disadvantages. Initially, limited mobility, absolute necessity of rest, the twitching and the heaviness kept me from caring for my baby. And I am not the most ideal person with patience in hand. I thought everything falls into place once the baby is out. I was mistaken. I had to learn everything.

Mothering is a natural instinct, everyone said. Perhaps only the emotional part comes naturally. Everything else, needs to be learnt from the scratch. From how to hold the baby to breastfeeding it, requires some time and technique.

No two days are similar for me. There are ups and downs. And I am trying to learn on how to increase my patience level, and not feel demotivated each time I fail to do something perfectly.

As my child teaches new lessons everyday, I am coming to learn those big and small aspects of motherhood. It's difficult but not impossible. 

My darling has brought me and KK even closer. We both are amazed at her little antics. The sudden smile, the loud wail, she has your nose, she has my feet, she stays up all night- must be your trait...

Husband's already in the US. Waiting for us to join him there. Till then we both are trying to get to know each other. :)

Blissfully unaware of the circus she creates around the house, she sleeps!

P.S. More posts in line. Kindly check.

It's a

GIRL!!!!

January Update

Getting admitted tonite. Have planned C-section tomorrow. I am excited alright! Will finally be coming face to face with my little one. I have no idea on how I will react when I finally hold my (OMG, really?) MY baby.... there is a lot of curiosity, whether it's a boy or girl, does s/he have head-ful of hair, does the nose resemble KK's or mine.... I truly cannot explain my state of mind.

I am anything but scared.... in fact I am so waiting for the result to be out! I am less than 24 hrs away from cuddling Jr.

I probably will not be able to update this space as often as I have been doing. But I am sure gonna try. And as for letting you guys know about the arrival of Jr., will ask KK to let you in on the secret!

This is the first time that I have bitten my nails in happiness till they have disappeared!

Guess what? Tomorrow, I am gonna be a mother for life! :)

Random Update

I'm still here. Fine and eating and  most importantly, sleeping! Jr.'s arrival is probably a week or ten days away. So this is real test of time. It is dragging and dragging.

Every time I sleep, I dream of my baby. Once I saw a boy, second time I saw a girl and third time I didn't know the gender. So I guess I really have no preference for a boy or a girl. I'll be happy with either of them. :) :)

I am due for a USG and doc appointment tomorrow and the day after, resp. I'll probably have something solid to say on when Jr. is planning his/ her arrival. hee!

BTW, I wonder if the preggyfection is getting to all my friends. Everyone's following the suit! :)

I am 90% gonna have a C-section. But then, you never know. Here I might be thinking about evading the labor pains and Jr. might just change his/her mind and position. :P I know I am impulsive; guess Jr.'s too!

We have baby names ready; well since a very long time. And I absolutely luuuuuv them! No, I am not revealing the alphabet. Keep guessing until I tell you.

I am reading blogs regularly like I did earlier. Just this time I am not commenting, because I feel terribly lazy to click on the link. Similarly there are a lot of blog posts in my head too that I wish I could do but I am not doing them.

I attended my best friend's reception and gathered a lot of attention and "all the bests" from many.  Ooooo... I loved being the center of attention! Every one said that I don't look fat. That creamed me.

That reminds me, last time I said I hadn't put on any weight. Taking the comment to heart my dear KK stuffed me with food for whole 7 days and that showed on the doc's weighing scale. I'd put on 2 kgs in one week! :O

KK had his birthday the previous week. And I didn't buy him a gift, neither had any surprise planned like I'd done last year.  It was quite family affair. My dad surprised us by getting a cake and flowers. It was followed by a family dinner in a nearby restaurant.

Well, that's about it for now. Will probably update once again day after.

:) :) :)

December Update II

Just a week back got a colour doppler USG. That's some fancy way of checking the baby. :P Anyway, last time I mentioned Jr. was lying in oblique position, this time however, s/he is not. Jr. decided to play hopscotch with the long long umbilical cord and as a result has gotten it looped around his/ her neck (loosely), not once but twice. Yeah, Jr. seems to be naughty already!

Despite me hogging all day like a pig, my weight has not increased even by half a kg, which invited "You need to eat more" from the doc. I don't know how much more I can manage eating when I am reaching for the food plate very 15-20 mins. *And I am eating everything, from chicken to fish to veggies to yummies* Sigh!

Meanwhile, the doc has asked to wait until the 28th December... to take it lying down till then, which means total bed rest. And there would be a final USG to check for Jr. updates. I am most likely to have C-section.

So, am I scared or upset? I thought I would be, but I am not. In fact I am more irritated when I learnt the tailor lady has misplaced my saree blouse! I wanna blow her head off! I was planning to wear that saree for my best friend's reception which falls this Sunday!

Another Jr. news :: Since Friday night, s/he suddenly became lethargic and hence kicked and tumbled less.  That was enough to bring my heart in my throat. No amount of pushing and poking the bump made any difference. I made KK cancel his plan to attend office picnic and rushed to the doc.

As soon as we reached the hospital and Jr. heard doc's voice, s/he was back in action, showing his/ her favorite antics. The heartbeats were normal too. Phew!!!! !!!!! *Now I somehow understand mom's phone call whenever I came home late* 


Currently, night time has become like circus. I wake up at odd times, either to eat or to complain about my sciatic nerve pain or to pee or to drink water or I wake up just like that.

Though, I would love to update it after the next doc visit, I dunno if I will be able to. I have been advised to lie down as much as possible.

Ending note : I am terribly excited, now that the countdown has finally begun (and that there is uncertainty on when the doc's gonna get me delivered) and humongous amount of curiosity - baby boy or baby girl!

BTW, my best friend Shweta gave birth to a baby boy, AVI, C section. Both are doing well... and I am so excited for them too!!!!!!