I have encountered many people who believe in letting go. I think it is a good as long as it lets you stay in peace. That is the most important thing, isn't it?
Call it a way of life or that people have started being more indifferent and insensitive to each other. It isn't easy to escape taunts, vile remarks, injustice or rudeness nowadays. It's just there. It depends on the receptor how he deals with all that. Some prefer to give it all back and oters will keep mum. Like I said, whatever makes you happy.
I wonder why people would want to take it all in, only to complain behind the back. I believe that if you have a problem then talk it out. If it troubles you, say it. If anything gets to you on a personal level, stand up for yourself. Is taking shit from people a better option than feeling shitty yourself?
In my office, there was an HR person, who thought she was above all. She thought she had this "HR" aura about her and that she was untouchable. It didn't bother me any more than it was digusting. Well I kept to myself. She was her way, I was mine. Slowly she started pulling people up and giving them a earful left, right center for work not well done. Now, considering the situation in the office, that was certainly needed. She thought of a way out, instead of selecting employees here and there, why not call every one and tell them that their job is below expected standards. And that's what she did.
It was my turn and she told me so, curtly, without even bothering to look at my work history. I was certainly pissed at such lowly manner, she dealt with me. I said "Prove it." And her jaw dropped.
I said "Sorry to say but I am not gonna accept anything you say here, unless you give me a solid proof of what you are accusing me of. I can give you the proof of my job being done accurately and not you and not even the bigger boss will be able to reiterate that."
She was fuming.
And that was just one of many. Other employees were raging too, but were too timid to speak up. They expected me to speak up and stand up for them, which I didn't. I think each person should e able to say a rightful "NO" when they are supposed to. Instead of harbouring so much bitterness for a long time, why not speak it out and get done with it?
There are such gems placed in the family too. No matter what the situation or celebration, they will love to temper the occassion with their disapproving comments that will spoil your mood.
We are often taught to respect the elders and mind our tongues when we speak with them. But that in no way means the younger do not deserve any respect. It is considered ok for them to mistreat the younger people all in the name of fun.
I have decided to be upfront and blunt wiht such people. No matter how they percieve me, but I am going to be me. If it stinges me, I am going to bite back without regrets. And that is what I have done, in the past and continue to do so.
I do let go - Once, twice and in some cases thrice. Only when the perpetrator crosses this level do I get really mean. If someone does not maintain a decorum, I don't see why I should. Why should I let someone slap me and get away with it?
How lenient can you be with such people? Do you let them hurt you and get away with it? Or do you find it easy to forgive and forget?
Friday, 17 August 2012
Thursday, 16 August 2012
Day 16 :: Tagged like never before
Uma tagged me long back with this one, and I have been putting it off for later. Copy + pasting the rules. Please do not complain about plagiarism! :P
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post & then create 11 new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag 11 people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!
Here are the eleven questions that Uma has thrown at me. :|
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post & then create 11 new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag 11 people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!
Here are the eleven questions that Uma has thrown at me. :|
- Which was the recent book you read and what is your take on it? - Recent Book? Tee hee! Well, I did manage to read one of my favorite author, Preeti Shenoy's book, "Tea for Two and a Piece of Cake". Umm... It was nice. As in good narration. Story wise it was ok, I predicted the flow. But let me say, her first two books were better than this one. My personal take.
- If you were to choose between the Epic characters Karna and Bhishma, whom would you choose and why? - I'd be Karna perhaps. Simple, he is like me.
- Which was been your most memorable trip so far? Any incidents or anecdotes you'd care to share? - Las Vegas trip! Totally! Anecdotes are a secret. ;)
- Mountains or the sea? - Sea
- What is the one thing (dream/ ambition) you would like to accomplish yet? - Would you believe it if I said I don't have any dreams?
- What according to you makes a good writer/blogger? Do you consider yourself as one? - Leaving all humility in a box, I do consider myself a good blogger. Readers of this blog have good things to say about my write ups, and I am frequently at it. I think that's what makes me a good blogger.
- What is your favourite outfit? - Loose T shirt and Pjs - Yes it IS an outfit.
- Who is better: Sachin Tendulkar or Rahul Dravid? - I wouldn't know. Seriously. Not a cricket buff really. I'd say both.
- If you had the power to change one thing about yourself or your life so far, what would it be? - Ha! Rebirth. I'd change the entire me.
- Are you in touch with your best friend from school days? - I didn't have any best friend in school. Yeah I am lousy at socializing.
- What was/is your favourite subject in school/college? why? - Costing in college. I think it takes a good prof to make you like a subject.
Ok so here goes
1. You have your set of daily chores. What's the one thing you hate the most?
2. You are supposed to be participating in the next Olympics. Your sport is?
3. What would you rather do - learn a new language or teach a language to someone? Why?
4. What do most people lack according to you?
5. Do you have any regrets in life? Is it in any way repairable?
6. If you were asked to blog right now, what would it be? Not this tag, puhleezz!
7. You are crossing the road when a car screeches to halt. ACP Pradyumn opens the door and says "Aap mere saath bureau chaliye..." Your reaction would be?
8. Your favourite quote is?
9. If you had to meet your "strictly online" friend, where would be best place? And would you trust him/ her to turn up?
10. Do you have recurring dreams/ nightmares? Care to share?
11. Easy one now. Why? Why? Why? :P
I tag, N, Namratha and muhahhaha, Uma! (I don't know anyone except these)
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Day 15 :: Mid Blogathon Post
I intended on doing a longish post today. That certainly doesn't seem to be happening. Not at this hour.
Did you take notice that I am already half way through my Blogathon? I was surprised! It's been a tough pull; these 15 days, yet attainable. I did it, didn't I? It takes immense efforts, not for the posts, but to keep up with the promise of blogging daily.
Initially, I admit, I had cold feet but now it feels great to be back to my blog so frequently. Blogging Is my stress-buster and calms me. Something what meditation does to many. It is like a coolant. At the end of the day, although I need to think what to write, once the job's done, I sleep peacefully.
There are still 15 more posts this month and I hope you will stick with me. Until tomorrow, ciao!
Did you take notice that I am already half way through my Blogathon? I was surprised! It's been a tough pull; these 15 days, yet attainable. I did it, didn't I? It takes immense efforts, not for the posts, but to keep up with the promise of blogging daily.
Initially, I admit, I had cold feet but now it feels great to be back to my blog so frequently. Blogging Is my stress-buster and calms me. Something what meditation does to many. It is like a coolant. At the end of the day, although I need to think what to write, once the job's done, I sleep peacefully.
There are still 15 more posts this month and I hope you will stick with me. Until tomorrow, ciao!
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Day 14 :: How did you know my name?
Priest : Your name?
Me : Pu.... (realizing it's a pooja on the husband's side) No, Kavya.
Priest : So your name's Purnima.
Me : Eh? How did you know? I didn't tell you that.
Priest : I saw the tattoo on your husband's arm!
Me : Pu.... (realizing it's a pooja on the husband's side) No, Kavya.
Priest : So your name's Purnima.
Me : Eh? How did you know? I didn't tell you that.
Priest : I saw the tattoo on your husband's arm!
Monday, 13 August 2012
Day 13 :: Discovering Self
13 things I have newly discovered about myself
1. I can let go of things that disturb me. It is very difficult, but I have been capable of doing it.
2. I can finish my kitchen chores within 45 minutes (Aa's morning nap time) - cooking, cleaning et al.
3. I can lose weight! YAY!
4. I can be very observant if I choose to be.
5. I can set a goal and achieve it too.
6. I can willingly forgo chocolate and cheese. (Of course, not permanently!)
7. I can make a beginning and see it till the end.
8. I can live without many things that I thought I could never live without!
9. I can forgive myself for bad cooking.
10. I can look after Aa, which I thought would be an impossible task.
11. I can understand a lot of things my mother used to tell me. (Yeah, now!)
12. I can stay alive without my 10 hour daily, beauty sleep.
and
13. I can (still) let my mind wander to places of my imagination.
:) :) :)
1. I can let go of things that disturb me. It is very difficult, but I have been capable of doing it.
2. I can finish my kitchen chores within 45 minutes (Aa's morning nap time) - cooking, cleaning et al.
3. I can lose weight! YAY!
4. I can be very observant if I choose to be.
5. I can set a goal and achieve it too.
6. I can willingly forgo chocolate and cheese. (Of course, not permanently!)
7. I can make a beginning and see it till the end.
8. I can live without many things that I thought I could never live without!
9. I can forgive myself for bad cooking.
10. I can look after Aa, which I thought would be an impossible task.
11. I can understand a lot of things my mother used to tell me. (Yeah, now!)
12. I can stay alive without my 10 hour daily, beauty sleep.
and
13. I can (still) let my mind wander to places of my imagination.
:) :) :)
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Day :: 12 Taking it for Granted
After ages today, I got to enjoy full five minutes, all to myself. While I sat enjoying a cup of coffee, the silence that engulfed me, allowed some deep introspection.
There was a time when I'd get restless if I didn't have my "me" time throughout the day. And then there is today, the day begins as soon as it starts. I'd have never thought of giving up my five precious for anything.
One takes many things for granted. And it is not a conscious effort. We happen to make everything our habit and when that habit is regularly practiced, we tend to think that nothing will ever change. Like I took my pencil thin body structure for granted. Like I took my five minutes a day for granted.
Have you taken anything or anyone for granted only to realize later?
There was a time when I'd get restless if I didn't have my "me" time throughout the day. And then there is today, the day begins as soon as it starts. I'd have never thought of giving up my five precious for anything.
One takes many things for granted. And it is not a conscious effort. We happen to make everything our habit and when that habit is regularly practiced, we tend to think that nothing will ever change. Like I took my pencil thin body structure for granted. Like I took my five minutes a day for granted.
Have you taken anything or anyone for granted only to realize later?
Saturday, 11 August 2012
Day 11 :: Unearthing Love
It was their 11th wedding anniversary. Yet none of them was in a mood to celebrate. Nikhil and Shilpa had been fighting for over a month now. They had bought a new apartment and their squabble was over the shifting day. Shilpa wanted to celebrate their anniversary in their new home, while Nikhil wanted to stay in their old house clinging to the last bits of memories in the house. It had been their home for 8 years.
Adamant as she was, Shilpa’d won the round. She decided she’ll take up the whole responsibility, whether Nikhil lends a hand or not.
They’d been like this; fighting on and off, back slapping, pulling each other’s leg. At first glance, they looked like cousins and not a couple. Their camaraderie was adored by every one. This was probably because they were friends since college times. They got married a few months after their convocation ceremony. Fortunately for them they had no parental issues. Their wedding was a smooth affair.
It was the life after that taught them some important lessons. Both were ambitious and both had the will to study further. With immense moral and financial support from Nikhil’s father, they had been able to achieve what they’d aimed for. Nikhil was a successful Chartered Accountant, working in one of the prestigious firms. Shilpa got a Masters degree in Mass communication, and was drawing a six figure salary.
They were happy with their DINK status. Lately, life was stressful. There were days when they didn’t even see each other despite living under the same roof. And when they did, there was constant bickering and frustration to unload. Arguments were a daily affair. ‘You don’t understand me!’ was a common statement. Cold wars and silent stares started to seem more appealing than making an effort to exchange words. Worse was when they accepted and settled into this life. None seemed to discuss the rift, none wanted to complain.
They were battling one such situation now - shifting the house. Shilpa tried to make Nikhil understand her reason. However, they had grown beyond the point where compromise was acceptable. They were at logger heads at each other since a month now.
‘Phew! Finally!!’ Shilpa sighed. Nikhil grunted his approval.
‘What?’ Shilpa asked.
‘You very well know what. Now don’t start all that again.’
‘It isn’t me, Nikhil. Try and be more practical... and a bit sensitive to my needs, if possible’ she gave back tearfully.
‘Don’t you even try that on me. It’s disgusting enough to fight on our anniversary, please don’t bring in your messy tears.’
‘Why are you so hurtful, Nikhil? I don’t want all this any more than you do!’
To avoid any more confrontation, Nikhil moved out of the room and started sorting the labelled boxes. Shilpa shed a few more tears; decided it wasn’t worth it and then headed towards the kitchen.
A few moments later Nikhil bellowed, ‘Shilpa, come here.’
‘Why?... Is there something more hurtful that you thought of?’ she uttered through clenched teeth.
‘Just come here, will you?’
She went into the sitting room reluctantly..
‘What’s in this box?’
‘Why? Can’t you read? I have labelled every box.’
'No, this one is not. Take a look.’ he said trying very hard to control his anger at her reproach. ‘It must be one of the boxes from the store room, in which you kept your ratty old clothes and other knick-knacks. I say, throw it out. If you unpack this, you’ll start feeling sappy and keep them in the house. We have no use for any of it.’
‘Nothing I keep is useless. And I am not going to throw anything away without even glancing at it. If you do not want to help, I am quite capable myself. Find yourself some friends and get entertained. I will set up my house.’
‘It’s my house too.’ he shouted.
‘I thought so too, until you showed no inclination to come here.’
‘It is worthless to talk to you.’
‘You should have realised that 11 years back.’ she said, while driving the pen knife into the tape that closed the box in argument. While she busied herself into prodding over the contents of the box, Nikhil grabbed some old newspaper and sat in the same room. Although he would have liked to stay away from her, there was no option as the other rooms laid strewn of painting material and shifted furniture.
Shilpa tore off the remainder tape. A familiar whiff of sogginess hit her as she opened the box. There was an old bed sheet covering the contents. She was puzzled. Slowly she pulled the cover away, careful not to break anything fragile. There was a stack of her college books. It looked like a huge pile.
‘Nikhil was right. I have no need for these books any more.’ she thought and pulled out one book after another. The books were only half way through the box. She found another box inside it. It was a big wooden box with intricate carved designs on it. It was gifted by her mother on her 16th birthday. She took it out lovingly, still wondering what lay inside.
She flipped the metallic latch and the contents took her breath away. They were memories. Memories of good times. Her heart beat fast. The first thing she took out of it was a small Mickey Mouse pocket watch. Nikhil had gifted it to her. He’d pleaded his uncle who lived in States to bring one for her.
As other things came out, memories flooded through her.
‘Nikhil!’ she called out timidly. ‘Look.’
He came close to inspect. His voice cracked as he said ‘You still have all this? It’s been years since I saw them... I’d forgotten about them!’
Together they sat sifting through their old life. Their first pink rose, a ruby pendant, a piece of paper on which Shilpa had smeared some of their Valentine cake, a vial of sand as honeymoon nostalgia, his first SIM card, a photograph clicked during the college annual fest with their common friends, Shilpa’s torn scarf and so many other things that they had tears in their eyes and a smile on their lips each time they said ‘Remember this one?’
The last thing that Nikhil pulled out was a ruled notebook page, folded neatly. It was a written conversation made by them during Financial Management lecture. It read -
N : I have to ask you something.
S : The answer is NO.
N: You haven’t even heard what I want to say.
S : I know you are going to ask me for the notes of Costing lecture, which you bunked yesterday.
N : No re baba! I got them photocopied in the morning.
S : It is still a NO-NO. I know you are going to ask me for a treat. I am all washed out. And now stop this nonsense. Don’t disturb, the prof is saying something!!
N : Marry me no please? I love you.
S : Shut up, idiot! Can’t you see... the prof is looking here. You and your stupid jokes!
N : I am not jok
With this the professor had caught them red handed with the letter and asked the parents to come and meet him.
As soon as Shilpa finished reading the conversation aloud, Nikhil pulled her close to him. He saw the girl with whom he had fallen in love with... just older. He pulled her tear-streaked face close to him and kissed her lips tenderly. All the love that was bottled up somewhere came oozing out. The passion was igniting, the love was glowing, the intimacy was returning.
'I have missed you, Shilpa.’ he whispered between the kiss.
Adamant as she was, Shilpa’d won the round. She decided she’ll take up the whole responsibility, whether Nikhil lends a hand or not.
They’d been like this; fighting on and off, back slapping, pulling each other’s leg. At first glance, they looked like cousins and not a couple. Their camaraderie was adored by every one. This was probably because they were friends since college times. They got married a few months after their convocation ceremony. Fortunately for them they had no parental issues. Their wedding was a smooth affair.
It was the life after that taught them some important lessons. Both were ambitious and both had the will to study further. With immense moral and financial support from Nikhil’s father, they had been able to achieve what they’d aimed for. Nikhil was a successful Chartered Accountant, working in one of the prestigious firms. Shilpa got a Masters degree in Mass communication, and was drawing a six figure salary.
They were happy with their DINK status. Lately, life was stressful. There were days when they didn’t even see each other despite living under the same roof. And when they did, there was constant bickering and frustration to unload. Arguments were a daily affair. ‘You don’t understand me!’ was a common statement. Cold wars and silent stares started to seem more appealing than making an effort to exchange words. Worse was when they accepted and settled into this life. None seemed to discuss the rift, none wanted to complain.
They were battling one such situation now - shifting the house. Shilpa tried to make Nikhil understand her reason. However, they had grown beyond the point where compromise was acceptable. They were at logger heads at each other since a month now.
‘Phew! Finally!!’ Shilpa sighed. Nikhil grunted his approval.
‘What?’ Shilpa asked.
‘You very well know what. Now don’t start all that again.’
‘It isn’t me, Nikhil. Try and be more practical... and a bit sensitive to my needs, if possible’ she gave back tearfully.
‘Don’t you even try that on me. It’s disgusting enough to fight on our anniversary, please don’t bring in your messy tears.’
‘Why are you so hurtful, Nikhil? I don’t want all this any more than you do!’
To avoid any more confrontation, Nikhil moved out of the room and started sorting the labelled boxes. Shilpa shed a few more tears; decided it wasn’t worth it and then headed towards the kitchen.
A few moments later Nikhil bellowed, ‘Shilpa, come here.’
‘Why?... Is there something more hurtful that you thought of?’ she uttered through clenched teeth.
‘Just come here, will you?’
She went into the sitting room reluctantly..
‘What’s in this box?’
‘Why? Can’t you read? I have labelled every box.’
'No, this one is not. Take a look.’ he said trying very hard to control his anger at her reproach. ‘It must be one of the boxes from the store room, in which you kept your ratty old clothes and other knick-knacks. I say, throw it out. If you unpack this, you’ll start feeling sappy and keep them in the house. We have no use for any of it.’
‘Nothing I keep is useless. And I am not going to throw anything away without even glancing at it. If you do not want to help, I am quite capable myself. Find yourself some friends and get entertained. I will set up my house.’
‘It’s my house too.’ he shouted.
‘I thought so too, until you showed no inclination to come here.’
‘It is worthless to talk to you.’
‘You should have realised that 11 years back.’ she said, while driving the pen knife into the tape that closed the box in argument. While she busied herself into prodding over the contents of the box, Nikhil grabbed some old newspaper and sat in the same room. Although he would have liked to stay away from her, there was no option as the other rooms laid strewn of painting material and shifted furniture.
Shilpa tore off the remainder tape. A familiar whiff of sogginess hit her as she opened the box. There was an old bed sheet covering the contents. She was puzzled. Slowly she pulled the cover away, careful not to break anything fragile. There was a stack of her college books. It looked like a huge pile.
‘Nikhil was right. I have no need for these books any more.’ she thought and pulled out one book after another. The books were only half way through the box. She found another box inside it. It was a big wooden box with intricate carved designs on it. It was gifted by her mother on her 16th birthday. She took it out lovingly, still wondering what lay inside.
She flipped the metallic latch and the contents took her breath away. They were memories. Memories of good times. Her heart beat fast. The first thing she took out of it was a small Mickey Mouse pocket watch. Nikhil had gifted it to her. He’d pleaded his uncle who lived in States to bring one for her.
As other things came out, memories flooded through her.
‘Nikhil!’ she called out timidly. ‘Look.’
He came close to inspect. His voice cracked as he said ‘You still have all this? It’s been years since I saw them... I’d forgotten about them!’
Together they sat sifting through their old life. Their first pink rose, a ruby pendant, a piece of paper on which Shilpa had smeared some of their Valentine cake, a vial of sand as honeymoon nostalgia, his first SIM card, a photograph clicked during the college annual fest with their common friends, Shilpa’s torn scarf and so many other things that they had tears in their eyes and a smile on their lips each time they said ‘Remember this one?’
The last thing that Nikhil pulled out was a ruled notebook page, folded neatly. It was a written conversation made by them during Financial Management lecture. It read -
N : I have to ask you something.
S : The answer is NO.
N: You haven’t even heard what I want to say.
S : I know you are going to ask me for the notes of Costing lecture, which you bunked yesterday.
N : No re baba! I got them photocopied in the morning.
S : It is still a NO-NO. I know you are going to ask me for a treat. I am all washed out. And now stop this nonsense. Don’t disturb, the prof is saying something!!
N : Marry me no please? I love you.
S : Shut up, idiot! Can’t you see... the prof is looking here. You and your stupid jokes!
N : I am not jok
With this the professor had caught them red handed with the letter and asked the parents to come and meet him.
As soon as Shilpa finished reading the conversation aloud, Nikhil pulled her close to him. He saw the girl with whom he had fallen in love with... just older. He pulled her tear-streaked face close to him and kissed her lips tenderly. All the love that was bottled up somewhere came oozing out. The passion was igniting, the love was glowing, the intimacy was returning.
'I have missed you, Shilpa.’ he whispered between the kiss.
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