Look n Laff

I won't blab much here. Just look at the snaps (Courtesy: my Sony Ericsson W580i) and decide whether to laugh or to cry.

Picture number 1

This paati (board, to all you angrezi understanding people) is put up on my building gate.


Nothing great, but I loved the audacious way of saying "Worries not allowed inside". If only things could be as easy as saying that!!!

Picture Number 2

Let this talk for itself.


This was a poster put up near my library. Couldn't help but capture this beauty!

Morya Aluminium, Manufacturing and Reappearing... eh?

Picture Number 3



Now this!!!! was at more. supermarket. So what does this mean? Any Guesses? Guesses should pour in at the comments section please. and my office people who have already seen this pic and have got the explanation from me, are not eligible for the guessing thingy. Let the others answer.

Picture number 4



God save the Flate selesman!

Picture number 5



I won't say where this was. But this is the latest LOL. And don't you people forget to "While Exiting Please Swith Off All Switches"! he he he he he he....

Picture number 6

This snap has been bothering me since it has been put up in the parking place in our office building. Take a good look at it and then look at what I have to say about it.



1. I have heard "Fire exit" and "Emergency Exit" but never "Fire Staircase". If it is really used anywhere, then I do not know about it. *Yeah right! It is used here! DUH!*

2. If it is a FIRE EXIT, then why the hell is the man climbing stairs?? Why would anyone in his right senses run upstairs in case of fire??

3. Look what's written above! TOILET! So when you are looking at it from far away, the "Fire Staircase" is hardly seen due to light angles. *Just like in this snap, the "CASE" part is not seen. So, doesn't it look like This person is running towards the toilet because he's facing an emergency situation???

Think!

How do I say?

He was scared. How would he face her? How was he going to say those three words to her? It is going to be difficult, he concluded, kicking the stones while heading back home.

He couldn't think straight. All his concentration was gulped down by the realisation that he would have to look into her eyes and speak the ultimate truth. He was sure she loved him, but how would she react once she heard him out? Will she scream? shout? call him names? or just say...

Siiigh! he was going crazy with questions zooming in and out of his brain. He tried to think of something else... someone else... Yet again, he was haunted by her face. Her beautiful, luminous face that would contort with anger and resentment. 'No!, he thought forcefully, things won't be that bad.'

Then again, he considered hiding it from her for a few more days. A few more days to gather courage. A few more days to prevent the outbursts from her, if any. Why not see her smiling for just a few more days? Why not?

'NO!' his brain screamed... 'No, delaying this will not help... and what if she comes to know from someone else? that would be worse' he chided himself for having thought of this option. Now he had reached his frustration point. 'Shit! shit! shit!' he kicked the gravel off his path. There was nothing he could do now... his insides felt like he'd swallowed shards of glass.

He remembered his mom's words "You have to face fear to get over it" Now was the time to try it out. He would tell her... no matter what... he was as determined as a dutiful soldier. He'd now made the resolution. By now, he'd almost reached home. He saw her, standing by the rose bed in the garden. He marched up to her, forcing all the thoughts out of his mind. She looked at him and smiled... that soul stirring smile. He couldn't. He just stretched his hands and thrust the papers in her hand.

He took a deep breath and said 'Mom, I flunked!'

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P.S. Plz no chappals!

Reality... Really?

I gagged on my milk a few days back when I saw apni Rakhi sans make up, with mushroom for a hairstyle, all bloated and shapeless(not that she had any earlier, but still), clutching her stomach as though she was suffering from stomach ringworms. And, she was excitedly calling her 'baby' Elesh, to feel the baby moving inside her. I was like !!!!!!!!!! So fast?? Just 2 months back, (or is it 4?) she was engaged to Elesh, or rather committed to engage to marry later (with its ifs and buts) to Elesh... and pregnant already??!! This was exactly why I gagged... I was thinking it takes 9 months... my knowledge is definitely outdated, I surmised.

Eventually, I came to know it was a wonder caused by "empathy belly". Whatever! Seems that the mothers-to-be-or-not-to-be were not really sporting, and complained of claustrophobia, back aches and many other "inconveniences" of "carrying". From the snippets that I was watching, Shilpa (of Ganga fame, KSBKBT), simply passed on the pregnancto her husband, Apurva(back ache, was it?) If only life was that easy, I thought! Siggh!!

The next episode floored me! Totally! Ladies were now unpregnant (I cannot say they had undergone successful delivery, can i?) and were trying to handle the real babies (in flesh and blood), literally. Babies were clueless and so were the psuedo-parents. The scene was hardly entertaining. It was down right cruel! I do empathize with the pseudo-parents for not having the know-how of being around a baby. I mean, how would anyone without being a parent?

Agreed, kids cry... but, it was a torture to see the babies cry their lungs out. Were they crying out of hunger? of not finding familiar faces of their parents? or what? Whatever it was, it was a gruesome scene. I was more awestruck by the fact that the kids' parents had willfully handed over their kids to be toyed around with. Of course, parents' dutiful tears followed when the human toys had exhausted themselves.

Ever wondered how, in the name of entertainment, there is an exploitation of humanity? of basic sense? of culture? and society in general? Let me not get into a debate by adding stuff like tradition and culture. For, it has been evolving since ages and it sounds too hypocritical and one sided to launch a parole on that. Moreover, defending what is right or wrong seems to have taken a back seat in today's world, where entertainment solely rules the roost.

An influx of desi version of reality shows like Big Brother, The Moment Of Truth, Fear Factor and even Baby Borrowers, have unceremoniously pulled the throne from underneath our reigning "K" queen. Who wants to waste their time watching the glycerine flow when odds are against labelling a virtual stranger on screen a serial liar on Sach ka Saamna?

Coming back to the episode that I watched the other day.... I had tears in my eyes seeing the children suffer. They are too delicate to be manhandled in such a way. Maybe it was unintentional... but why do they have to suffer? These kids were not more than, I guess, 6-7 months old. Aren't they wholly, solely and totally dependent on their parents for every big/ small needs?

Thankfully, there have been complaints regarding this show and the National Commission for Protection of Child Rights have (supposedly) issued notice to the channel to discontinue airing it. The channel however clears its stand saying that PPaW is a foolproof show, where they have ensured that children are in "good hands" and "taken good care of". The channel's claim, whether genuine or not, is still hard to believe. I personally, did not like this concept of manhandling the babies, even if it is for four days. I find these shows ridiculously absurd and unfitting to Indian minds and mentalities.

And, if you are wondering, why inspite of all these arguments I was watching it... I was plain curious, like everyone is.

365 days and more to come

My blog completes a year today! :) This day, last year, around the same time or maybe it was later, with trembling fingers and unsure mind, I started blogging for the second time in my life. I made a small promise not to delete it given my eccentricity and natural pull towards deleting accounts when no one's looking. hee hee hee!

I had actually planned a supprize party for my blog. Was thinking of bringing in a cake with wordings "Happy B'day, Blog" and all. Obviously, my laziness outlived my enthusiasm. Secondary reasons though, were that I'd have to buy the cake, and gobble it myself, putting myself through the torture of gaining a whole kilo which is equivalent to that of the birthday cake... THE whole kilo that I have lost by parking myself in front of a glaring PC screen. I'd also thought of taking my sprinkled few close gals out for drinks (read: nariyal paani), with cameras capturing the odd s(l)ipping moments. But, where did my blog come into the picture? Exactly! nowhere! Heck, my sprinkled few close gals are strangers to my blog, just as I am to a Martian's pet feline from Neptune.

Speaking of strangers, have you ever had to experience an incident when you see a person you have talked with, cracked jokes with, laughed with and bitched about nothings with, yet, YET, cannot register when and where and how you know that person? Forgetting the name is not even on the list, because in the first place, you don't even know it? Felt guilty and embarrassed at the thought of approaching them and saying a "Hi, how do we know each other?", like you have worn pista-green pants with red and orange striped sleeveless collared shirt? Well, something like this happened to me... and I couldn't avoid the "upclose n personal" with the lady in question, at our common library. But, BUT, BUT, my dormant-until-now brain came to my rescue and before I could fumble for an excuse, my right side of the brain supplied the information to the left side of my brain... She was one of my french-class-attending-public.

Anyways public, coming to what I was saying... I cancelled out the large scale celebrations in view of the reasons mentioned above. However, small scale celebration did take place... I ate a small cup cake....well, half of it. Hatred for sweets was handed down to me as legacy.

Speaking of which, my mom was on a complaining spree since yesterday that not me, nor my father has touched the sweet dish she'd made for Dassera and it is lying in the fridge unattended. Thank god for the invention of fridges! No fridge would mean having to finish the sweet dishes made for whatever season, reason or festival in one day flat. Meaning more fights and morer weighty issues.

Weight? Wait! I was talking about the successful 365 days completion of my dear blog! If you have been reading me, rather my blog, from day one, you would know how many of my rants and nonsensical ramblings this blog had to endure. Not that it could do much about it, but it has complained in its own small ways... like saying "Could not contact blogger. com. Saving and publishing may fail...retrying"... and that statement has never failed to get me down on my knees praying for the blogger to cooperate. and cooperate it did... eventually... after I hit the "save" button with threatening furor.

Have you ever felt threatened by the things happening around you? Like I have been? Threatened... not like scary threatened. Threatened like challengingly threatened. Where you lose your several nights' sleep thinking how to emerge victorious? Where you indulge in scheming without realizing? Where you jump at a slightest provocation? Where you promise yourself that you won't sleep peacefully until you have had the chance to get even?

Even when I write all this, I still realise that I'm supposed to be talking about my blog. But whatodo? I have these timed chemical injections in my brain that just flow through my veins, pour out of my fingers onto the kb and eventually on the blog. It is an involuntary movement that I can hardly wish to stop.

So, here's wishing my blog a Habby Dabby Budday!! with lotsa mad, sad, happy grave, nonsensical, mature, idiotic, thought provoking moments to come in the future.

However, my (very close) proud blog moments were
1. When I meet one of my schoolmates at a friend's wedding and the second sentence she says "Your blog is lovely. You write well ya!" (This is a schoolmate, classmate rather with whom, I'd lost contact since our SSC result day)

2. When my interviewers ask me my writing experience and I quote my blog. They ask for my blog URL then n there, feed it in their browser and check it up in front of me and say "Impressive... I can see many people have liked what you have written!" and

3. One boring morning at the office, I find an exhilarating mail from Mahesh saying "We find your blog interesting and would like to feature it...."

Once again, Happy Birthday to my second term as a blogger! AND, here's wishing my blog commentors a "Happy Anniversary!!" 365 days of togetherness means a lot to me. You have been very encouraging, lovely, enthu, supporting, loving and a grrrrreat audience. I'm sure you understand the intoxication of a fully filled "comments" section. ;) Well, treat yourselves to a nice black forest cake, on my behalf, from Bakers' Basket while I go back to contemplating the risk of additional 1 kg.

V n Me - Tit for Tat

Often I have talked about V n Me capers. Most of the incidents underscoring V's sharpness of mind and consequently Me's dumbness! Time to turn the tide now. These incidents - when V was outsmarted by Me. muahahahahaa - V, you remember these no? no? NO? That's understandable! :P
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Back in school days...

Me: blah blah blah... chatter chatter chatter chatter.... blah blah.... yada yada.... jabber....jabber....

V: (irritated) Can't you shut up?? How much you talk?!!

Me: arre? you don't want to listen then, close your ears... get out of the room... but I will nottt...

V: Look at S's sister. You both are the same age. And what a difference between the two of you!!

Me: What difference? Her school's St. Josephs... mine's NCL..that's the difference. hee hee hee...

V: See what I mean? She's so mature... reserved and grown up!! You should be like that y'kno? You shouldn't chatter non-stop. Grow up a bit!

Me: :/ RESERVED? what does that mean now? heheheheahhahahaha....

V: Reserved means mature... doesn't talk like you. Speaks intelligent. unlike you. reserved means knowing to shut your mouth. Now be a good girl from now.

Me: !!!

(after a while)

V: P, come. lets play something!

Me:

V: did you hear me? come, lets play.... wanna play a game on PC?

Me:

V: whats wrong with you?? why can't you speak?

Me: That's because I'm reserved from now on. so I won't speak.

V: Enough now. come, lets play.

Me: I said I'm reserved! I won't play. I shall keep quiet. I won't speak. hmmmph!

V: Plz come no. we'll play your favorite game. come.

Me: I. Am. Reserved.

V: alright! alright! now you can stop being reserved!! I'm sorry I even asked you to change. Now come.

Me: That means I can STOP now?

V: YES! now come pleeeez...and u can stop being reserved forever!!
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School days again...

V n Me both had the habit of studying loudly. He chanted his answers and I made it a point to chant mine louder than his. Mom resolved the issue soon. He was to study in our room, and I was to study in my parents' room, which was adjacent to ours. So, this was during our summer exams...

V: (screaming) Ppppp! come here!! fast fast fast!

Me: (comes running) what? what?

V: Good girl. Now switch the light on and go study!

Me: X-( what is this!! I was studying no? are you the only one who wants to score good marks in finals?? ammmmmmmmmmaaaaaa....

V: stop screeching. You have come here no now? why can't you switch on the light? stop wailing.

Me: hmmmph (but switches the light on)

After a few days...

V: Purniiiiiiiiii...come here...fast fast...now..now!!

Me: (jumping out of the bed, running to V's room wide-eyed) what happened??

V: light please!

Me: (tears brimming...brimming....brimming....overflowing, whacking V at the same time) waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! you do this everytime...ammmmmaa see V doesn't let me study!!!!!

V: Now, why can't you do this job? switch it on and go..who's troubling you?

Me: !!!!!!!!! X-( (But still switches the light on..swears that she'll get back at him)

Still after a few days....

V: Pppppppppppppp! come here no Pleeeeeeeeez!

Me: (shouts from the other room) No, I'm not coming! I know you'll say "light plz". I am not coming.

V: noooooo...i won't ask you to do that. can't you see I have already switched it on? now come here no pleeeez?

Me: then you want water? i know. go to the kitchen and get it yourself. I ain't your maid servant. get lost.

V: arre..I swear. I don't want light or water. You come here. I want you to come here. come no...see I'm even saying please!!

Me: (goes to the room) what?

V: fan please! (grins idiotly)

M: (grins back at him... idiotly that too and switches the fan on...no complaints...no ammmmmmaaaaaa...no emotional atyachaar)

V: wah! see! my sister is succccccch a good girl... lovely...amazing...sweet....

Me: (switches the lights off, pulls out her tongue and struts out of the room victoriously with V shouting in the background....

V: come back P!!! why did you have to do that!!!! Ppppppppp!!!
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and this incident I don't even remember but have been told by my mom and recalled by V too. I guess I was 4-5 yrs old and V was 9 or 10.

V: (shouting from the balcony at our Gp's place) Pppppppppppp!! come here fast. now now. come running!

Me: (runs at a lightening speed) what??

V: see, there's your husband! (pointing at a lonesome donkey, who was staring into nothingness)

Me: (tears brimming...brimming....brimming...overflowing and whacking V with both the hands) HOW DARE YOU!!! Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaa...see V is calling my husband a donkey!!! waiiiiil waiiiiiiill waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...my husband is nice. my husband is not a donkey!!! (whack, whack whack!!!!)

(Well, talk about defending my pati parmeshwar at such a raw age(esp. when I hadn't met him and still haven't met him!! and Jinu, now you know why I love donkeys??)

Days later....

Me: V!!! come fast!!! (clapping hands, shouting and jumping up and down in her mothers lap)

V: what happened? you called me, P?

Me: yes yes!! Look what I found!! (points towards a herd of buffaloes) see the first one?? that is your wife!!

V: !!!!
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Now this last incident came to light because one fine day, out of the blue, my SIL, N, asks me : from which angle do I look like a buffalo to you? I was terribly taken aback since she asked me this question before they got married. Finally, looking at my lightening struck face, she and mom explained me what had happened 20 saal pehle!

And in case you are wondering what our mom was during all those "ammmmmmmmmaaaaa"s and when V got a bashing of his lifetime... she tried to control us by scolding..and keeping us away from each other for a few hours. When our judaaai was too much to bear we would beg and plead her to let us play together...and then we were back to where we started. :D

All shaken up

'I have to buy water colours!' I remembered, and said out loud to my mom.

3 seconds of understanding passed between us and she nodded her head reluctantly. I knew the nod of reluctance was because 1. I did not remember this when we had been out and 2. it was already past 8 in the evening. And yet, I was granted the permission. Why? Because she knew I was stubborn.

Triumphant, I passed through our gate, out on the road... it was pitch dark and eerily quiet. All the shops were closed, and there wasn't a soul in sight. Yet, for some reason, I was adamant to buy water colours. I thought a short sprint would bring me faster towards the shop. Before I knew it, I broke into a run. I passed the shop where I was supposed to go... I looked straight ahead... a billboard with "SMILE" written across it was flashing in yellow. I realised I was still running... my brain was unable to send the STOP command to my legs. My heart raced at an uncountable speed.

Somehow I managed to change my direction and head home. The street was still empty, black, stark silent and it felt like vacuum. My throat hurt from running, and I felt like I have swallowed a huge rock. All of a sudden, I saw a human shadow move nearby... but I was not scared of that...

...and I woke up with darkness and silence engulfing me. However, this time they didn't stir panic in me... I lay cocooned reassuringly in my own bedroom.
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This was one nightmare that petrified me like anything, yesterday night. I woke up with a start and couldn't go back to sleep at least for an hour. I tried to make sense of it. I clearly remember, I wasn't scared of the darkness, nor was I scared of that doubtful shadow. I was scared of something that I cannot place my finger upon. If I remember correctly, the "SMILE" thing threw me off-balance. The whole thing was eerie and creepy!! brrr...

Any analysis?

Purnima Calling Purnima

Yep! An announcement. I'm taking some time off for myself. Thus, in the coming few days (no count as of now..so it could stretch to a few weeks, or get over in 4 days flat), I'm minimizing my online activities. Naturally that means no chatting - Gtalk will not be signed in to and Gmail will be used only after disabling the chat facility.

No blogging either. As it is I'm suffering from something that prevents me even from opening my page. And it isn't writer's block. I'm just not in any mood to write anything (except this, that is).

Facebook account will be deactivated, as soon as I finish this post. Quizzes are going from bad to worse to worst to something more. Yet I cannot free myself of them, unless I deactivate it. Will be back, but dunno when.

As for phone calls - will keep that minimum too. Do not call me unless you are dying of not talking to me (and that better be a very good reason - "I called because you did not call" is not a valid reason), or unless your name is TJ, Shrads or Pall. Likewise, do not expect me to call you, or return your sms-es. So the best way to avoid being insulted due to non response will be, not to sms/ call me at all. I'll call/ sms if I need to/ feel like.

Yep, it sounds like I'm throwing my weight around, which is pretty much the case. I need some "me" time to do things that I love doing (read: cuddling with books) and, random other things that I have shamelessly been ignoring since a long time (read: bank jobs, clothes that need stitching).

So, please no "you don't call nowadays" or "where are you?" or "are you alright?" or "stopped blogging??" or "shaadi hai kya?". In advance, lemme tell y'all, I'm fine, in Pune, will take care, will start blogging as soon as I feel like it, will call if I'm dying of not talking to you, and it is yet not my shaadi.

Leave me alone coz I just need me.