Pregnancy - The Middle ground

Previously written Pregnancy - Finding out

After having gone through the mad hormonal days, I expected normal days where I wouldn't be so fragile - emotionally as well as physically. What I did not see coming was a huge blow by the jet lag. When I'd previously flown from India to US, I'd gotten used to the time change within 2-3 days. However, this time around, we used to be wide awake at night and sleep through the day. Kiran was supposed to resume his office here in 7 days, which meant he did not necessarily have to battle out the lag. We would scurry into the kitchen and find something for us to eat at 2 AM. However discreet we were, my mother in law was always up. She was kind enough to fix us something to eat at that hour. The rest of the night would be spent watching NatGeo channel. We would drift off to sleep at 7 AM, wake up briefly for lunch, gulp down everything sleepily and then hit the sack again.

I had a very bad time with my jet lag which lasted a whole month long.

We scheduled an appointment with a gyn there who suggested that I get an USG done as I had flown quite a distance. This time at the ultrasound, we saw our baby. A miniature human figure, moving its hands, legs and tiny head. This week we were to have the Nuchal Test to test for any abnormalities. The doc who was performing the USG was quiet for some time. Then he began clicking his tongue, then he said something to his helper in Kannada which I obviously did not understand. I began to worry if anything was wrong with the baby. Even after asking him 2-3 times he did not say anything.

Finally when I pressed him, he said, he is waiting for the baby to change position so that he could get a good view of her nape! I breathed a sigh of relief when I understood the cause for his worry lines.

My second trimester was a happy place. My wonderful in-laws were taking good care of me. I got to enjoy the feasts and festivals of our native place which I had always missed due to one reason or the other. The baby and my weight was growing as was necessary. I also got a chance to live with my aunt (who is close by) for a few days.

On the down side, I was missing Kiran a lot. To add to it, our timing to call each other was always wrong. Either that or we didn't have enough privacy for a nice cozy chat. We had a few mis-communication problems, of which arose some misunderstandings and fights. Those were some trying days. *It is not a good idea to stay apart during pregnancy.*

In a few days, my in laws started discussing about having my baby shower. I was least interested in the beginning. But when I heard that Kiran could come earlier than expected and be there for my function, I was on cloud nine.

... will be continued tomorrow

Pregnancy - The finding out

Disclaimer:

Like Namratha says, this is not for the faint hearted. Or even those who are not yet ready to be mothers - especially mentally.

This post doesn't mean to scare anyone off pregnancy or child birth. I just hope this helps and provides directions to those who might feel a bit overwhelmed or lost in the whole process. 

In no way is this post, and the series of them following soon after, are meant to serve as prescription for your pregnancy related symptoms/ problems. I might include some techniques or solutions that worked for me. It doesn't mean they will help you. 

Each and every thing that I have mentioned here is what I went through. It may not be up to the pregnancy-industry standard, but this exactly what happened to me.

I have mentioned bits and pieces of my pregnancy every now and then in this blog. So you may find somethings repetitive. 

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The point where a pregnancy begins is a euphoric one. It was for me when I could so much as gather my thoughts and let the feeling sink in that I am now going to be a mother.

When two blue lines confirmed my pregnancy, that was all I had to remind myself that I was not one now. I had no other symptoms other than a missed period. I wasn't feeling nauseated, I wasn't puking at the sight of food, nor did I see any significant change in my weight. These are the basic things you hear of a pregnant woman. I was elated at how easy my pregnancy would turn out to be with no signs.

I must say at this point that I had a lot of misconceptions and myths about pregnancy and a pregnant All of which were busted.

As soon as I got the positive test result, we decided to go for a gynecologist visit, which is scheduled when one is 9 weeks pregnant. Accordingly, an appointment was scheduled that included an ultrasound too.

After we filled a form that seemed endlessly listing histories of any genetic disease or mutations and allergies and sundry, I was sent for the USG. I had googled up on the images of a 9 weeks old fetus. I was expecting to see a small form of a human body. The USG technician squinted at the screen and said, "You are no more than 6 weeks pregnant. There is nothing to see. Your baby is smaller than a grain of rice" I was shocked, for according to my calculations, I should have been 9 weeks already.

When we saw the doctor, and she heard my case, she said it might be due to delayed ovulation, which is pretty common and nothing to be worried about. Hence, my Estimated Due Date (EDD) which was initially January 5th, 2012, was pushed to January 17th, 2012.

Then after that we again discussed if we had any health issues or any other concerns. I did have some. My blood group is Rh negative and Kiran's is Rh positive. Now, I was told earlier by my sis-in-law that a positive-negative combination could be something that needs to be looked into. It was indeed the case. The doctor said that in some cases, the mother's blood can mix with that of the fetus', and having two different Rh factors could cause a problem. I was advised to call the doctor immediately if I bled anytime during the pregnancy. Having that in mind, every time that I would go to the bathroom, I had chills.

The gynec then inquired if I had any morning sickness. When I answered in negative, she congratulated me saying I may be one of the few ones who sail through the 9 months. We came out of the doctors office with smiling faces.

Soon after that, we were to attend a send off party for one of our close friends who were leaving for India. It was a potluck dinner and we had offered to bring in some chicken curry. That day, since morning, I'd been feeling queasy. Thus, Kiran took the responsibility of preparing the dish. It was around 6 PM when he was done with the cooking. He asked me how it smelt. And I said "It is yuck!" Literally. Kiran felt offended and I was not sure why because I was telling the absolute truth.

By now, I was also feeling a bit feverish. And I wanted that offensive stench out of my house. I could sense something had gone wrong in me. I wanted Kiran to skip the dinner and stay with me. However, the dinner couldn't be missed as they were one of our close friends.

When he stepped out, I started feeling anxious for no reason. I am pretty used to being home alone. This time, however, I was ill at ease. Not knowing how to deal with this funny feeling, I called up my mother who was in Singapore at that time to be with N, my sister in law, who was expecting her second child. The moment I heard her voice, my tears started to flow. As much as I wanted to stay strong and not cry, I found myself blubbering on the phone saying "Something is happening to me. I don't know what and no one is here with me." Hearing me collapse in such a way, my mother got emotional for not being here with me. N took over and told me in firm voice that all this is bound to happen and that I have to get myself together, walk over to the fridge and pour myself some cold orange juice. She heard me out, empathized and scolded a bit. That seemed to bring back some courage in me. Only, I hardly knew that was just a mark of a beginning of a whole new innings of suffering.

From that day on, I started feeling tired. From the moment I woke up to the time I went to bed, I was tired. It began with that consistent pain in the whole body that you experience when you have flu. As the days progressed, that exhaustion just grew and grew and grew to the extent that I couldn't get out of my bed. I lay in my bed the whole day, not eating, not showering, because I had no strength nor the courage to pull myself up on my feet for any activity. I could barely even gather enough energy to speak to my mom. I lied about the net and our phone lines being down, just to avoid confrontation with her. I did not want to worry her further.

 The days I did find my feet walking toward the kitchen to fix some lunch, they retracted at the myriad combination of smells around the house. My nose could sense every damn smell all the same time - the incense stick, the deo, the curry, the garbage!

I was surviving on a cup of milk, almonds and banana. I couldn't tolerate anything else.

Every evening, correctly at 5 PM, I would start to feel uncomfortable in my stomach. That feeling would last throughout the evening. Each day Kiran came home to a pitiful me. Seeing him, I would burst into tears. I used to feel relieved that at least he was there for me. Call it my lack of senses to be thankful to him for all his help; all my tantrums were thrown at him. He had no clue either on how to manage me. He would cook for me. He took care of me like a mother would. But none of those efforts seemed enough to put my miseries away.

The discomfort kept getting worse till the point that I would have a strong urge to throw up. I would retch and retch but since I'd had nothing to eat throughout the day, I couldn't even puke! Again, my husband would be there with me, every step of the way - patting me in the back, soothing me, getting cold water for me to feel better.

It is said that for some women these symptoms last for all the nine months. It was already a month and a half of suffering with no signs of mellowing down. It was getting more and more difficult for us to cope with my hormonal changes. Moreover, there were few other reasons why we couldn't stay here. Initially we'd decided to go back home in August. However, given the current state of my health, we had to reschedule our journey to July.

I was terrified at the idea of having to live without Kiran for six months. I was looking forward to a pregnancy which would be equally participated by my husband. I wanted him to be there with me to USG and see our baby take shape. He promised me that he would definitely be by my side when I was nearing my due date.

Our tickets were booked within a few days. By now, I had started to feel better. All those overwhelming waves of nausea and tiredness started to wear off as the days went by. I was completely alright by the time we boarded our flight to India.

... will be continued tomorrow.

We, the non-sharers

Disclaimer : A post meant for women, but you may read too

How many of us like to share? I don't mean a meal, or clothes and shoes. I certainly do not mean FB sharing. How many of us share our stories? By stories I mean those ones which we may not necessarily be proud of. It may be a small incident, like being shouted at by a superior at the office, or it could be a life-shattering one, like being a victim of sexual harassment and all those remaining ones that lie in between. We believe in zipping our mouths and going about our daily lives as if nothing ever has gone awry. 

The problem with non-sharing is that we never realize if we have been right or wrong. We assume and accept that the fault lies within us; while showing the world that we are perfect, strong women with no dents whatsoever. Why do we consider opening up as a shameful act? Why does it feel so negative? 

To take off the ambiguity of this post, let me say that I went through a lot of revelations during and after my pregnancy. They changed a little bit in me for good; for now I believe that speaking up and sharing not only eases your mind but also helps another person who is in dire need for directions. 

The whole mother hood thing is a lot more than it looks. It causes permanent changes in the physical and emotional you. To cope with those changes, a woman needs a lot more comforting and boosts of confidence. 

I had some tough times while going through all this. And I believed in shutting up too. I did not want to look like a loser mom when everyone else was battling it out so fiercely. And then came along a blog post from a fellow mommy that seemed to open up the Pandora's box of mommy emotions. And that is how the emails and chats of mommydom all began with my friends. 

Over the course of next few days, I have decided to share my story of pregnancy and child birth. Stick to me if you are interested. 

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And so I begin my first mini-a-thon of the year. This one is a theme based one "Pregnancy & Child birth".

My Circle of Mommy Friends

Being a mommy to a kid is perhaps not as difficult as holding up your image as one to the world. There is so much pressure and breaking down is seriously not an option. Even though women have been there and done that, when it comes to being a third person and watching others take up the mothering duty, they get a lot judgmental... a lot more critical and always have something wrong to pick with the way you do something (to/with/for the kid).

As this is the case, we, the newly blessed mothers, have no one but our friends who are sailing in the same boat to pour our hearts to. Earlier I was skeptical and uncomfortable sharing my mommy-woe stories. But as and how my friends decided to come out of the closet and open their minds and share stories, I knew I was not the only one. And to say that it is therapeutic is the least. 

It first began with timid and shy questions and when we realised that all of us are battling similar situations, we decided to stick with our routine. I have friends with whom I exchange emails, have night chats (during the night feeds for them or me), write blogs, call up and skype with. We talk, bitch, rant, laugh at our miseries, exchange information etc. The best part is no one gets judged. You can complain all you want to, and nothing changes. Nothing is right or wrong. It's just you and your mommy woes. 

We may not really be complaining. We love our babies. We really do. Trust us. But there comes a time when we get tired of one way communication; we want to talk about other things than sterilizing bottles and changing diapers, we crave for some adult conversation that does not necessarily involve or revolve around our kids. It's not about getting fed up of our kid, or that we hate our full time mommydom, it's just a need for a breather. It refreshes and rejuvenates in so many ways that we look forward to going back to being a mommy to our kids. 

Sacrifice? Yes, that is the word. But for some reason when you are past your kids childhood, everything that the younger mommies do is viewed wrong and "not sacrificial enough". It is crass to even think of enjoying at a cinema, let alone actually going there. If you feel like pursuing your hobby, you are likely to be asked "Oh and where is your poor kid gonna be?". If you think it is too warm for a sweater today, you will be berated for not thinking of your kid's well being. No matter what you do it will never be a good match for what they did. Well, a modest reminder that we sacrifice too. Maybe not the same things or in the same manner, but we let go of many things that we liked to do. 

All in all, I love my circle of mommies who are all into it. We love being what we are and we also like to complain about myriad stages of mommydom. But in the end, we hope to turn out good mommies to kids. Face it, for our kids to have sane mommies, we have to let out some steam. 

Taste Of Peru

I am a big fan of shows where there are road trips, food and guys involved. Particularly that show where there is this Guy involved. If you do not know already, Diners, Drive-Ins' and Dives is a very popular show on the Food Network where Guy Fieri takes a road trip all through the 50 states of America in search for some authentic, mouth watering, lip smacking food; much like our Highway On My Plate. 

Every time this show is aired, I am praying for Chicago to be in his list. My prayers were answered the day I saw



We decided to check that place out as soon as possible. Hence, we seized the opportunity when V had come over.

Taste of Peru is a quaint little cozy place. One may not easily notice this place when in the neighbourhood. It is nothing fancy or glittery. I loved that the whole set up makes you feel instantly warm and at home. It is a small place but with lots of picture collection of Peru and the owner's family and friends. You know at once that the owner prides in his roots and family. That is what appealed to me the most.

The food was incredible and nothing that I have tasted so far.

We wanted to taste exactly what Guy had had and so we ordered the "Guy Fieri's Combo". That included

Tamales

Anticuchos de Carne O Pollo

Lomo Saltado

The combo also included a drink called Inka Kola, which was a canned drink much like our pineapple sherbat. And so was included a desert, Arroz Con Leche. Sorry for no snaps, but we were too shot after that heavy dinner and my kid has started to fuss a bit. Nevertheless, the desert complemented our dinner. It wasn't too sweet or too overpowering to ruin our taste buds.

Sudado de Camerones

I ordered this one, which was not a part of the combo. It was tangy shrimp curry served with rice. 

You can see the Inka Kola poured in my glass there, right?

Here is a snap of a wall full of photos that I absolutely loved and the owner standing right in the middle.  There is also a map of Peru. :)

You can see a lot of nick-knacks in this snap. Another element that I am a fan of.

Another thing that I should mention here, is that the owner is very interactive. He welcomed us in, shook hands, chatted for good 5 minutes. I mean how many owners get to do that with their customers? He even called Aarnavi "Khoobsurat". Can you imagine how much this person is involved into his business and making everyone feel great? Neither did he let us go without a word. He wished each one of us a Happy New Year. Why wouldn't I wanna go there again?

It is a BYOB establishment. (BYOB = Bring Your Own Booze) If you are looking for a nice, romantic, quiet experience, seek elsewhere because here you'll find families and friends having a nice time, being loud, boisterous and cheeky. It's a lively place where you'll enjoy the experience.

... and here is my happy little one on being called "Khoobsurat"!

First Post of the Year

Happy New Year to all! May this year bring peace, love and warmth of family and friends to us!

I have a good news right at the beginning of the year. My baby turned a year old! :D Isn't that fabulous? We had a nice little birthday party for her... complete with family and very close to heart friends. It was fun and heartening to have good people come and join us in this happy occasion. :) 

Although I have wished I could and would update my blog frequently, I have not done so. I am very bad at keeping promises made to self. I hardly feel bad about dishonouring myself. I know I sound like a stuck record, harping on forever about how I do not do anything about not being regular here. Hence, I found myself some solution. Instead of doing a whole month long blog marathon, I will do many mini-a-thons. That means, I will commit to write a certain number of posts for a certain number of days and stick to it. Does it sound like a plan?

I may start as early as this month! :) How happy am I making this announcement! :)

Look out! This page is soon gonna be updated!

December!

I have always loved the month of December. The merriment of Christmas mixed in with the chilly Pune air is, for me, a feel good factor. In years that went by, many happy moments (and thus, memories now) are associated with this month. Isn't it great to end a year with some happiness?

One of my most happiest moments lie in December. I would perhaps rate this day on a higher rank than my wedding day. Wedding is just a celebration to stamp the decision that we make. Making a decision to commit your life to one person for better or for worse is another league totally. This is where a person is right or wrong. I am glad I took a wise decision and hitch-hiked on this road called marriage to the person I loved and still do.

Well, in case you are wondering, there were no celebrations, nothing hunky dory. Guess what? The husband had even forgotten about it. When I reminded, he says "Oh yeah, isn't it?" But I am not mad at him. He remembers to change diapers,  I never have to remind him to refill baby formula and doesn't forget Aa's doctor appointment. I cannot be mad at him for something so frugal when I can see the efforts he's putting into being a wonderful, perfect daddy.

I swear, it has got nothing to do with the amazing gifts he showered on me for Thanksgiving. Take a look.

:) Got an amazing deal for the Notebook and the Galaxy Tab together, and the camera too came in with a case and 8 GB card. I have been craving for an DSLR since a long time, but looking at it from the price point, I found it too expensive. KK wasn't all too in love with any DSLR, because camera for him is a camera, what more could you get? But he took a look at one of our snap clicked at a friend's house in a dark setting and he was sold to my idea. The pic was bright, colourful and looked like it was a pro shot. Hence the camera was included into this year's buying list.

 The Samsung Notebook is gorgeous. I did not want anything fancy. As long I can check my emails and Facebook and blog, I am good to go. I love it! 

The Tab however is for KK. And he is in love with it. In his own words "It's like being newly wed!" :)

That said, every year I have something to look forward to in this last month. This year, V is gonna be visiting us and I am super excited! His visit although a short one is gonna be fun... I know it. :)

December for me is not just stock take of the year's events and making new resolutions. It is when I feel warm and special from within, no matter how chilly it is on the outside. Cozing up to my near and dear ones, knowing that they'll be there for me, feeling safe, secure and loved, is what I look forward to. If the whole year is "exercising" then December is my "meditation". :)