Candid, not Candied

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Pregnancy - The finding out


Like Namratha says, this is not for the faint hearted. Or even those who are not yet ready to be mothers - especially mentally.

This post doesn't mean to scare anyone off pregnancy or child birth. I just hope this helps and provides directions to those who might feel a bit overwhelmed or lost in the whole process. 

In no way is this post, and the series of them following soon after, are meant to serve as prescription for your pregnancy related symptoms/ problems. I might include some techniques or solutions that worked for me. It doesn't mean they will help you. 

Each and every thing that I have mentioned here is what I went through. It may not be up to the pregnancy-industry standard, but this exactly what happened to me.

I have mentioned bits and pieces of my pregnancy every now and then in this blog. So you may find somethings repetitive. 


The point where a pregnancy begins is a euphoric one. It was for me when I could so much as gather my thoughts and let the feeling sink in that I am now going to be a mother.

When two blue lines confirmed my pregnancy, that was all I had to remind myself that I was not one now. I had no other symptoms other than a missed period. I wasn't feeling nauseated, I wasn't puking at the sight of food, nor did I see any significant change in my weight. These are the basic things you hear of a pregnant woman. I was elated at how easy my pregnancy would turn out to be with no signs.

I must say at this point that I had a lot of misconceptions and myths about pregnancy and a pregnant All of which were busted.

As soon as I got the positive test result, we decided to go for a gynecologist visit, which is scheduled when one is 9 weeks pregnant. Accordingly, an appointment was scheduled that included an ultrasound too.

After we filled a form that seemed endlessly listing histories of any genetic disease or mutations and allergies and sundry, I was sent for the USG. I had googled up on the images of a 9 weeks old fetus. I was expecting to see a small form of a human body. The USG technician squinted at the screen and said, "You are no more than 6 weeks pregnant. There is nothing to see. Your baby is smaller than a grain of rice" I was shocked, for according to my calculations, I should have been 9 weeks already.

When we saw the doctor, and she heard my case, she said it might be due to delayed ovulation, which is pretty common and nothing to be worried about. Hence, my Estimated Due Date (EDD) which was initially January 5th, 2012, was pushed to January 17th, 2012.

Then after that we again discussed if we had any health issues or any other concerns. I did have some. My blood group is Rh negative and Kiran's is Rh positive. Now, I was told earlier by my sis-in-law that a positive-negative combination could be something that needs to be looked into. It was indeed the case. The doctor said that in some cases, the mother's blood can mix with that of the fetus', and having two different Rh factors could cause a problem. I was advised to call the doctor immediately if I bled anytime during the pregnancy. Having that in mind, every time that I would go to the bathroom, I had chills.

The gynec then inquired if I had any morning sickness. When I answered in negative, she congratulated me saying I may be one of the few ones who sail through the 9 months. We came out of the doctors office with smiling faces.

Soon after that, we were to attend a send off party for one of our close friends who were leaving for India. It was a potluck dinner and we had offered to bring in some chicken curry. That day, since morning, I'd been feeling queasy. Thus, Kiran took the responsibility of preparing the dish. It was around 6 PM when he was done with the cooking. He asked me how it smelt. And I said "It is yuck!" Literally. Kiran felt offended and I was not sure why because I was telling the absolute truth.

By now, I was also feeling a bit feverish. And I wanted that offensive stench out of my house. I could sense something had gone wrong in me. I wanted Kiran to skip the dinner and stay with me. However, the dinner couldn't be missed as they were one of our close friends.

When he stepped out, I started feeling anxious for no reason. I am pretty used to being home alone. This time, however, I was ill at ease. Not knowing how to deal with this funny feeling, I called up my mother who was in Singapore at that time to be with N, my sister in law, who was expecting her second child. The moment I heard her voice, my tears started to flow. As much as I wanted to stay strong and not cry, I found myself blubbering on the phone saying "Something is happening to me. I don't know what and no one is here with me." Hearing me collapse in such a way, my mother got emotional for not being here with me. N took over and told me in firm voice that all this is bound to happen and that I have to get myself together, walk over to the fridge and pour myself some cold orange juice. She heard me out, empathized and scolded a bit. That seemed to bring back some courage in me. Only, I hardly knew that was just a mark of a beginning of a whole new innings of suffering.

From that day on, I started feeling tired. From the moment I woke up to the time I went to bed, I was tired. It began with that consistent pain in the whole body that you experience when you have flu. As the days progressed, that exhaustion just grew and grew and grew to the extent that I couldn't get out of my bed. I lay in my bed the whole day, not eating, not showering, because I had no strength nor the courage to pull myself up on my feet for any activity. I could barely even gather enough energy to speak to my mom. I lied about the net and our phone lines being down, just to avoid confrontation with her. I did not want to worry her further.

 The days I did find my feet walking toward the kitchen to fix some lunch, they retracted at the myriad combination of smells around the house. My nose could sense every damn smell all the same time - the incense stick, the deo, the curry, the garbage!

I was surviving on a cup of milk, almonds and banana. I couldn't tolerate anything else.

Every evening, correctly at 5 PM, I would start to feel uncomfortable in my stomach. That feeling would last throughout the evening. Each day Kiran came home to a pitiful me. Seeing him, I would burst into tears. I used to feel relieved that at least he was there for me. Call it my lack of senses to be thankful to him for all his help; all my tantrums were thrown at him. He had no clue either on how to manage me. He would cook for me. He took care of me like a mother would. But none of those efforts seemed enough to put my miseries away.

The discomfort kept getting worse till the point that I would have a strong urge to throw up. I would retch and retch but since I'd had nothing to eat throughout the day, I couldn't even puke! Again, my husband would be there with me, every step of the way - patting me in the back, soothing me, getting cold water for me to feel better.

It is said that for some women these symptoms last for all the nine months. It was already a month and a half of suffering with no signs of mellowing down. It was getting more and more difficult for us to cope with my hormonal changes. Moreover, there were few other reasons why we couldn't stay here. Initially we'd decided to go back home in August. However, given the current state of my health, we had to reschedule our journey to July.

I was terrified at the idea of having to live without Kiran for six months. I was looking forward to a pregnancy which would be equally participated by my husband. I wanted him to be there with me to USG and see our baby take shape. He promised me that he would definitely be by my side when I was nearing my due date.

Our tickets were booked within a few days. By now, I had started to feel better. All those overwhelming waves of nausea and tiredness started to wear off as the days went by. I was completely alright by the time we boarded our flight to India.

... will be continued tomorrow.


  1. I had an almost similar experience, Purnima..horrible horrible 14 weeks of nausea..uggh! even now the memories bring a shudder..

  2. when I think of it, my husband gets the chills! :)


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