Candid, not Candied

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Guest Post by N

A guest post!!! by N, my first and most favourite sister-in-law. Read on what's she got to say. Part 2 of the same will be up, which will be my version of the same story.


Its been hell loong since I actually wrote anything; even a grocery list. So this blog post better be a good one from me. After all my Purnima now has a reputation to take care of.

Speaking of which, Purni (that's what I call her) and myself have known each other for God knows how long. The fact that she is related to my aunt, who is also her aunt, is the main reason. Well, doesn't my aunt and her aunt mean we might be cuz? Err.. no. Its like this, her aunt in the way of her mom's sister and my aunt being my uncle's wife... aah... now you get it!

Anyways, she's a year younger to me but then, that was never an issue. As long as I remember, my first impression of her was that of a girl who spoke her mind, regardless of who it was. I loved it and her; as it was something I would never even have courage of doing. She was, let us say, a "pataka". She was a little sis I never had, atleast until I had one.  She was the "city girl" in our chota sa village. When we wore salwar, oiled our hair and wore bindis, she would be in her pretty frocks/jeans with her wild curly hair loose. She was a dream we girls wanted to live. I don't think she would actually dream about oiling her hair like me. (blech!)

Zipping into the next 10-15 years, we grew up... meeting occassionally when she would come down during the school holidays to her aunt's house and I too would be there sometimes. Playing was out of question at that time. We just used to sit out and look at our brothers playing Lagori, Cricket and yell for tiniest of "cheatings".. sigh.. those were the days... 

I would like to tell you all my relation with her, she is now my sister in law (legally), but I care for her more... We fight, snicker, tease, bitch about our weight do all that stuff sisters do. We share clothes (unfortunately my waist is rather too big to fit into her clothes), and we both loooove books, hit restaurants like there is no tomorrow, and shop, shop, shop...In short, we are always there for each other (sniff..sniff). 

Purni has been a friend first and sister-in-law next. In fact, other than the mandatory crossover from her calling me by name to calling me "vanni" (bhabhi), nothing has changed between us. We drive her brother (and my husband, who happens to be the same person - V) crazy. The best proof of it would be when V tells us, "You girls are supposed to fight, not backing each other!" We get that from him each time that he is cornered or bullied by us. Or when he pulls our legs. Yeah, we do that a lot! Since I am not to, I let her do the pinching, hitting and punching parts.

We do all kinds of stuff teenagers would. Who cares how old you are? We are still kids :P (we have our own kid(s) now), but still... 
Now, our talks revolve around kids, cooking, books and we still bitch about our weight. I eye her non existence waist and she wants my thin matchstick legs.

How Purni went from being an occassional city friend to a full time sis in law? That's another story. 

I have to say, honestly, I never remember speaking to, far less even look at Purni's brother... When I asked him about it, he says he was busy with his college life. Later I found out he was too shy to speak to girls :P

The very first time I remember seeing her brother was at my uncle's place (duh!)  when I in my 2nd yr degree. A tall, rather skinny guy with French beard who was waaaaaaaaaaaay too shy for his age. After exchanging "Hellos", we were back to our own work. He was then working in Bangalore, and would come down to my uncle's place often during the weekends. I started seeing more of V and my impression of him never wavered. He was definetly the quiet type. We talked and I felt sad for him as I knew he missed his mom and sis way too much. He was actually away from them for the first time, and that too in a whole new state, where he did not even know the local language.

We exchanged email id's and kept in touch. In my final year, V popped up the million dollar question. Honestly, I was not expecting it so suddenly but I was not shocked either. I guess, somewhere in my mind I always knew this would have been the next step. Well, now that it was asked, I had to answer right?  I took my time and finally, I did tell him what I thought. 

For those who don't know me, we got married a year later - after he completed his MS and landed a job in Sg. Its now been 6 year plus and with 2 amazingly wonderful daughters, I wouldn't ask for anything more!

Sunday, 19 February 2012

What Made Me Happy Lately

I am all over the moon!!! And this is why,

No, I did not pre order it on to get this signed copy. In fact, I got to meet her in person...

Preeti Shenoy, one of my favorite authors was in town for her latest book launch; and I did not want to miss it for anything! 

We reached before time, which gave me a chance to talk to Preeti akka fora while... and she is as amazing in person as she sounds on her blog! I got to ask her that one question about her that's been haunting me forever... 

I asked her how she manages to be so positive and how come the same radiates through her blog. Does she have bad days or not? Does she never get upset?

"Its not like I don't have my bad days. I scream too. At such times, I divert my attention by making something - I make cards or I paint or do yoga. Secondly, I do not believe in spreading negativity. If I'm having a bad day, why should I torment others by ranting it out?", she speaks candidly.

Inspiring, isn't it? 

We were also glad to meet her husband, Satish Shenoy, who was a pleasure to talk to. (He writes guest posts on her blog, and they are good reads too!)

During the interactive session, I was curious to know if she faces writer's block, especially when she is doing her Blogathon. Without much ado she says she has a variety to offer - even if her daughter's hugged her during the day, she turns it into a blog post. Again so simple, yet so inspiring! A gesture of love, as small as it may seem, qualifies to be a blogpost. This has certainly given me a boost of enthusiasm for my second run of Blogathon. 

Hereby, I have made some resolutions for my own good. I'm going to put them up on my blog. I believe by having something in writing, makes it more real, more solid. That might just avoid me from shying away from my resolutions. Once the world knows about it, then it becomes a question of honour and I'll have to abide by them. 

:) :) :) :) :)

P.S. My lill baby doll allowed me to enjoy the whole session by sleeping peacefully in her gramma's arms!

Friday, 17 February 2012

It Takes Two to Tango

This Valentine's day, it wasn't about red roses or cute teddy bears... We have gone through that. I cannot say we have outgrown that phase or that we find it teenager-ish to express emotions through flowers and cakes. I can say, "far yet so near" was our theme for this Valentine's. It's all about love, and whether expressed with gifts or without them hardly matters.

2 years back when our "lhau" was new-new, that bouquet of roses and cake felt mushy. My heart would melt thinking about him. It'd whirl, skip a beat and swell with such novel emotion lately tasted. Prospects of starting an exciting life with a person who you loved and who loved you back (so dearly) made me go weak in knees.

The previous year's V-day was special too; that which was celebrated as a romantic double date with friends! We never thought what future would hold for us - all we knew was that it was time we enjoyed each other's company. Hand in hand, each time that our eyes met, we knew we were not perfect beings but we have our tuning in sync and wavelengths ebb and surge at the same level.

Having taken our relationship to an altogether different platform, today I realise that love can have different shades and shadows. It can change forms, it can evolve for the better. Perhaps I can no longer call it new love, but it still is fresh, thriving and blossoming. I got the customary roses and cake for my birthday. However, this time around, I couldn't fuss much over them. I'd a much more important souvenir of love to look after.

Our life has metamorphosed - for the better - through rough patches and smooth ends. If I had to allot a colour to my life, I'd say it was pink earlier, now it is a tinge darker. Today, I find myself embraced in the warmth of his love and care. I'm sure in the coming years it is going to transform into deeper shades of pink, into red to blazing red and finally there'll be a glow that'll never faze out. The journey till there will demand a lot from us individually. We are ready - in fact looking forward to so many things in life.

From the day I got married, I have known what "plenitude" means. And I have never looked back. I have never missed parents' love or their care or even my freedom. I haven't missed friends' support, I have never found myself lacking in anything. Not that I'm saying I don't need them anymore; but there's always been more than I have asked for.

This year we have lived in installments. Together for 3 months, apart for next 3 - for the whole year. It has also been full of conflicting emotions. Tears reigned. For I've felt like a messy, emotional blob. I have missed him like I never thought I could miss anyone. I craved for his banter, complaints, and also his weird choices of movies. I still do.

If he can turn me from a stubborn-unromantic-who-hates-gooey-love to a hopelessly-head-over-heels-in-love-with-him, then he can do anything under the sun. Being miles away, he still sends my breath for a toss, he has the power to bring happy tears to my eyes. Just like right now.

Sometimes, I love him so much that I hate him. And he knows exactly what I mean by that. ;) ;)

That's us! On 14th February 2011


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