Siigh!

She : Why are you staring at me now?

He : Just...

She : You stared at me 1.5 years back and that was understandable... Stop it, please! It feels awkward.

He : I'm looking at you, who was once a girl, then girlfriend, a wife and now a beautiful mother! What an amazing transformation!

... and once again, he steals her heart!

Uncle 1 meets Uncle 2

It is Sunday today and, both Uncle 1 and Uncle 2, are at the Sunday Bazaar to "do" some household shopping. Uncle 2 has two big bags full of vegetables and is trying to fit all that on his 15 yr old loyal Bajaj scooter. This is when Uncle 1, holding newspaper and milk in one hand and eggs and bread in another, meets Uncle 2.

Uncle 1 (U1) : Arre, arre... Good Morning, good morning ji! How are you?

Uncle 2 (U2) : *surprised and smiling wide* Hello, good morning! I am in good health. You tell, how are you? Where have you been? Didn't see you for a long long time!

U1 : No, no. I am here only. Where will I go? You are a big man. I hardly see you. Busy a what? Sunday shoppingaa? *gesturing at U2's big bags*

U2 : Haaaaan, now what to tell? Children are sleeping and wife said if I did not bring vegetables, there will be no food! What can a poor man like me do? You also come for shopping?

U1 : Ha ha ha haha.... Yes. Yes ji. It is the same. Come come, my house is here... we'll have nice hot tea with bisckits.

U2 : Nahi, aaj nahi. I have no time to stand. I have to go.

U1 : It is the same. No one has time now. Life is so busy. What are your kids doing?

U2 : Badi is in First yr engineering and Choti is in 12th. Both very busy with classes! Your son is also in engineering no? Computer? Which college?

U1: Haan. His 4th semester is going. He also so busy, I tell you. Does not have time to raise his head from books!!! Very good college but. Nice teachers. Even if I gave a huge donation, it is not a waste.

U2 : Very good. Very good! It is nice to know children learning. Nahi toh, children nowadays! *slaps forehead*

U1 : What to say! So many rave parties, drugs, daaroo. It was soo different in our times, no. We did what our babuji told us. Always respecting parents.

U2 : Really! But our children are gems, I am telling you. They will shine our names.

U1 : Yes, yes. I am sure. *does namaskar and touches forehead* Your two daughters will shine your name in their sasuraal. They are pretty and talented also, no? I wanted to ask you? Are you seeing a boy for your badi? There is a nice boy, I know. Looks like Salman Khan. Very rich also.

U2 : *makes a face* Now what to tell you bhaii saab?! My wife tried to talk to her about her marriage. She gets angry. Badi wants to complete studies and she wants to do MBA also. And that also in foreign. Now tell me, how will I afford all this? I am middle class. And I have two daughters. How to manage? Tell me.

U1 : God will help you, see. Good things happen with good people only. You should not worry. Have you seen the latest??? Anna Hazare and Jan Lokpal Bill? My son wants to go to Delhi to fast! Who will study now, tell me?

U2 : That one?!! I was seeing. On paper, on tv. Everywhere there is Anna. What a man! What a man! Really, I think. He will do big aandolan.

U2 : He will. I am also sure. Who else can save our country? All politicians are chors, saale. They want money and money. Govaarment is useless.

U1 : No bhaii saab. People also voting same same people. What to do now? Very sad it is. See, how this road is also not repaired for so many days.

U2 : Arre haan. When you said road, I remembered. What happened to the fight between you and your neighbour? Did you build that private road or not between your houses?

U1 : *shakes head violently* nahiii... Where now I will run after small small fights? Tell me. He knows big people. He has contacts. I did not do anything. I heard he is leaving house in a year. I will build road when he goes away.

U2 : Yes, you should do that. Tell me if you need any help. I have a civil contractor friend. I can tell him to see. He is very close. He is my wife's jijaji's nephew. He will do your work for less.

U1 : Haan, will tell you surely. How is bhabhiji? My wife was complaining... nowadays, you both don't come only! Come sometimes for evening chaii and bhajiya.

U2 : Yes yes. That day they went for sale shopping together and all they did was complain about us! My wife was telling.

U1 : Accha? When did they go shopping? *irritated* Arree, everyone knows! I only don't know!

U2 : That new shopping mall is there, no? What is its name...... ummm... something Paradise. There they went. Bhabhiji must have forgotten to tell you.

U1 : Arrree reee, I remember. Remember now. Court Paradise no? She told me, I forgot.

U2 : My girls go there often. Never buy anything, but they go with friends.

Uncle 1's cell phone starts ringing.

U1 : Hello. I am here only... where means? market, where else? I am coming baba.... coming coming. I met bhaiisaab. What? What? Cannot hear... hello... what??? Ok ok. will tell. will tell. Haan haan coming.

*click*

U1 :See your bhabhi called. She is calling you home. She is not listening to any excuse. you have to come for chaii.

U2 : Bhaiisaab, it is getting late for me. Next time will pakka come with wife.

U1 : No, no, no, no.... no listening to you this time. Come, it hardly takes 5 minutes from here. Chaii will be ready when we reach home. She is making also for you.

U2 : That way then you should promise to come to our house in the evening with bhabhiji and your beta. Only then I will come now.

U1 : Haan haan pehle you come.

Saying this, U1 rides pillion with U2. A lot more is exchanged between the two during the five minute ride to U1's house.

Day 17: Water, water everywhere!

'KK, wake up!!! WATER!!' I literally screamed as I woke up in the morning at 6 AM. Sleepy eyed KK was wondering what got into his newly wed wife.

'What?' he asked.

'OMG, wake up, wake up!! Our house is flooded' said I while looking down at the water level which had covered my ankles. 

This was the time when we had not even completed a month of wedded bliss. We had rented a huge two bedroom house in Vallabh Nagar, which was gonna be (relatively) closer to KK's office. 

'What happened? Where's the water coming from?' he was asking as I dashed to the kitchen to find the water flowing from the tap at full force. The sink lock had jammed and as a result the water did not find the outlet. It continued flowing till it managed to reach every corner of the house. 

Now, ours was a two bedroom house with a kitchen that had a dry area and a terrace. Our bedroom had a terrace too. By modern standards, the house was HUGE! 

First, I shut the tap and was relieved that water was no longer adding to the pool. Then I looked around. I was standing there wondering what I should do, what I should say. After all, it was a naya-naya basaya sansaar. I just didn't want KK to think I was a goose-head. I was not trained in disaster management because such disasters never occurred at mom's place. And even if it did, mom knew what to do. 

How did I leave the tap open? Well, there was this 'paani aane ka time' and obviously at around 11 PM the water supply used to be off. I must have left it on and forgotten about it. 

I was panicky, I was shivering. Oh! Did I mention, it was supposed to be KK's day to resume his desk? Breakfast was yet to be done, dabba was yet to be done and the water... SIGH!!!

'What to do?' I asked him.

'We clear this ASAP.' he said coolly as if I had just spilled a glass of water. 

'How?' 

'You take care of the breakfast, I'll do it. I will push the water in the balcony where it'll drain out.'

'But, if I do it too, it'll clear out fast.' 

'No. You are just out of your illness, I don't want you to take physical strain. Else, let's call Mr. B for his help.'

(Mr. B used to do all petty work at my father's office and he had helped a lot with the shifting stuff. He used to be close-by.)

'Nooooooooooooo, not him... he's a newspaper. He'll tell my dad the moment he sets his foot in the office.'

(Mr. B is a motor mouth. I didn't want my dad to know all this kaand that I'd done. And then the lectures that would ensue, I wanted to avoid them. ;) )

It was 6:30 by then. I walked into the other bedroom and almost fainted. Our 4 unpacked bags lay on the floor, swimming in the pool of water.

'KK, baaags.' I wailed.

'Don't worry, they are water proof. So there are no chances of clothes getting wet. Anyway, lets move them.'

We hauled the water soaked bags (at least from the outside) and kept them on tables. And KK got down to work. Now, the slopes in the house were really weird. It wasn't sloping toward the balconies, but away from them. So he had to drag the water up-slope and then the water would go in the balcony. This was taking a lot more time than expected.

'What about your office?' I asked sheepishly.

'I have to go. Can't stay home.'

'But how will I manage? I HAVE to clear the house before the maid comes in. Nahi toh, she'll tell the whole building and everyone will curse me.'

'Call Mr. B.'

'Nooooooooooooooooooooo... piliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz noooooooo...' 

'Ok. Ok. We won't call him. Then what are we gonna do? I'll go at 11 then.'

Thankfully, mom had let me borrow her vacuum cleaner which could be used to swab floor. That meant I could take off the excess water with that. After one and half hour of manually throwing the water out, I brought out the vacuum cleaner and dried the house off the remainder water. 

By this time, KK was dead tired and he retired to bed with an instruction to wake him at 10. 

Just 2 minutes later, someone rang the door bell. I was petrified to find two men standing in front of me. One was the watchman, I recognized. 

'Hello, I live on the first floor, just below your house. We have some leakage in our bedroom. I just wanted to  see if the leakage was from here?'

I was petrified. I asked them to wait outside, while I ran in to 'KK, two men have come saying there's leakage. What to do? What to do?'

'We'll tell them the truth.'

'No, no, no, no, noooooooo, please, please, please nooooooo. I know how touchy society women are when it comes to wasting water... pleaseeeeeeee....'

'Ok. But at least let them in. We can't keep them standing outside forever.'

They came into the bedroom and the watchman cum plumber said 'Paani yahaan se leak hua hai' (The water has leaked from here) pointing to one corner in the bedroom which was sharing the balcony.

'Haan, actually aaj subah humne balcony dhoya tha. Shayad uske wajah se leak hua hoga.'(Yes, actually we just washed the balcony today morning. The leakage could have been because of that.) said KK, my HERO!

'Haan, ho sakta hai... lekin ab thode dinon ke liye yahaan paani mat daalna.' (Yes, maybe... but for a few days don't wash the balcony.)

I felt a wave of relief wash over me. 

'Look, everything's fine. Now, don't worry!' said KK with a smiling face. 'BTW, I missed my bus, you know that. That means you will have to drop me to the office.'

This happened on May 3rd, 2010. A year after that incident, many would think I am laughing it off, but no, it still gives me goose bumps.

As for telling my parents about it; they came visiting in the evening and I was feeling so guilty that I narrated the whole incident myself. :)

Day 12 : Is this what I think it is?

She : Hello! Who is this?

He : He who cannot be named!

She : Ha ha ha ha... Shut up! Wassup? No work today?

He : Naah, just taking a break. Was a winding week. And hell lot of work. Waddup with you? Hope didn't disturb you, did I?

She : No. I was taking a coffee break. Gotta attend a meeting, another ummm.. 30 minutes or so. 

He : Hmmm... that's cool.

She : So, why did you call?

He : JLT. Been a long time, didn't catch up with you. So I thought I'd say a hi. 

She : Yeah, seriously... it's been a while. 

He : Can you meet me today evening?

She : Today? uhhh... wait a minute.. I think... no, yes, I can. Yes. We can meet actually.

He : No, if you have other plans then alright... nothing urgent... just wanted to say "I Love You!"

She : WHAT???!

He : And wanted to ask you if you'll marry me.

She : Hey....

He : And will you bear me and my idiosyncrasies for the rest of your life.

She : WHAT are you saying?

He : All this, I will ask in person. Be ready to say a yes. Will meet at our usual place at 7 PM. See ya then. Bye.

She had made up her mind. She knew what the answer was. She couldn't wait for the clock to strike 7. 

Curiosity - hasn't killed us - yet!

N! What much to say about her. Half of Singapore thinks we are blood-related sisters, where infact we are sistaars-in-loh. And then they have the whole relation between me, V n N jumbled up. They think V's my husband, N's my sister....V my brother-in-law, N my mother(!!!!) and wot-not.... anyways, thats not what I'm gonna talk about here.

Its me n N, who have worked hard enough for people to get our relations wrongly wired. We bitch, gossip, laugh at the most inappropriate times, chatter, keep a look out for sales, exchange Tees, look for confirmation at each other that we are NOT fat... and many more things. And the biggest thing between us is we cannot keep our mouths shut from each other. What happens here has to reach there and v.v. So here's what happens in most cases. Psssst, did I mention she craves for madness as much as I do?


'u callin me piggie? :' started N

'when i called u piigie? :O'

'see last sentence hahahahahaa aaaaaaaaaaahaha'

'arre i closed thwe window... copy paste'

'oh...u said suar....boo hoo'

'HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAA that is "sure" in rustic way'

' "tell them to check... suar"
yeah...ahahaha .... ask me tmrw menu re

'what tom'

'che che'

'i'm gng to blog this'

'haplease'

'yes yes edited version'

'no no'

'muhahahaha'

'i am signin off then'

'whatever we talked u'll see'

' ok allright' *Thus me gets the unwanted permission*

'tell S, his marriage Jevan was excellent...yesterday his amma had called'

'okies...what said'

'nothing they came bk to old house since new house furniture happening....but will be shiftin there n renting old house'

'gud gud...i gotta tell u yahan ki kahani....but will wait till nxt weekend'

'abt who what ..tell tell...gimme a hint'

'my pota puggid* with it already' *For non-Konks, it means I'm dying to tell this/ I'm dying to know.*

'S and wife'

':O Already??? tell tell no plis plis'

'yeah... talked 5 hrs with her on fone in 2 days'

'who?'

' me and J'

':O what u talked soooo much?'

'u know She is june 82.... only 1.5yrs elder...'

' :O big big'

'N... TALKED ABOUT S... FMLY AND EVERYTHIN HAPPENIN HERE RIGHT NOW'

'WHY EVERYTHING IN CAPS???.....SOMETHING SCANDALOUS?'

'by mistake'

'sheessh.....i was expecting....scandalous newses'

'S is dumber by the day ...i almost feel like wriniging his neck tmrw'

'Don't don't'

'dont blog this ok'

'he's just married think abt J
hehe i will
names will be hidden'

'uska sochke i feel like wringing'

' u see how i edit stuff'

'got loads to tell man...'

'you have Nm and Sb email id...i gotta share it via email'

' yup...what what
what what'

'pics of j n b'

'what what j n b?'

'jandoo n bagga'

'oh my...'

No, it didn't just end there. There was more, lots more infact. We are a pair of curious cats. :)

"M" yada yada

Somewhere in 2008 -

Me : How many people are going to be invited for my wedding?

Mom : what? why? where's the groom?

Me : arre, I know, we are yet to find..blah blah etc. Tell no.

Mom : why but? why so suddenly are you concerned about your marriage?

Me : Tell no, please.

Mom : 300, maybe 500 or even a 1000... I don't know. Ask your dad. Why do you want to know?

Me : Nothing...just so that I know how many fake smiles I'll have to practise!
=================================================================

Me : u'kno, I want a nice mother-in-law.

Mom : who doesn't?!

Me : No, like real nice... who can cook really good food.

Mom : how selfish of you... expecting MIL to cook for you. you'll continue being the lazy bum that you are even after your marriage? blah blah blah....

Me : I said she should be a good cook so that she can teach me to how to cook like her. What you thought? :P
==================================================================

Somewhere in 2007 -

Me : Pedha!!

Neighbour : oh wow! for what? you are getting married, eh? Pedha and all?

Me : well...no

Neighbour : oh yeah, when you do I'm sure pedhas will be of bigger size.....

Me : :/

Neighbour : .....and not just any pedha will do, chitale ones...jumbo pedha. each of us will take one whole.

Me : :/

Neighbour : oh btw, what are the pedhas for?

Me : new car, dad bought, today.
=================================================================

V, N, Me

Location n situation : V, my SIL, N, and me in a restaurant at Sg 3 yrs back.

V : Purni, we'll search for a nice groom for you here.

Me : uhh... I....

N : oh ya, Purni... we'll enjoy... with you n your family here too...then we'll even tell your parents to shift here....cool no?

V : yea yea... very. yea, get married after 8-10 more years.

Me : listen, I...

N : WHAT?? 10 more years? are you alright?

V : yes. I want her with me. Purni, ok no? 28-29 pe shaadi?

Me : arrreee...

N : :O!!! how can you tell her that? No, Purni, get married in another 3-4 yrs. You should also enjoy your life with your partner, u'know?

V : Nothing doing.... 7 years minimum.... Its ok....

Me : but arre, listen....

N : how come you dint insist on getting married to me after 7-8 yrs? afterall I and purni are almost the same age!

V : different for you.

Me : will you??....???

N : no wait, Purni!! how come? you have different set of rules? for each one of us?

Me : ARRRRREEEEEE STOP!

*silence*

... do you both realise that what you are arguing is about my marriage?

V & N : yes, of course...who else?

Me : Then, how come I'm not even asked at what age I want to get married????

V : gladly.... let us know... go ahead...tell this SIL of yours that u wanna get married at 28-29.

N : keep quiet. let her speak... go on tell... but let me remind you 24-25 best age.

Me : I don't know! I haven't thought abt it...I was ....

V : see what I told you... she's indecisive..i tell you 27....

N : No you shouldn't fill crap in her mind..she'll....

Me : siiiiigh *buried my head in the menu card and let the waiter come and interrupt*

Le Commencement

V and me had our first session of french lessons yesterday. :\

First, he wanted to check if the teacher, herself knew anything about french. So I was supposed to be honoured to be interviewed by this prestigeous student. Well, here I was saying "i-don't-know-what-this-word-means, i-have-not-heard-this-word-before" to all kinds of weird words that he was finding in the bilingual dictionary.

This is one student who's gonna keep me on my toes, asking me the history behind every word that is spelt wrong, pronounced wrong. :\ and this teacher's gonna whack him for every nonsensical questions. He won't even complain to his parents. ;)

Snippet from our comical class yesterday :

Me : ... fine now that we finished learning how to tell time... how will you tell when it'll be 10:36 AM?

V : no one will ask me 10:36 AM.

Me : why not? One can show you a digital clock which shows 10:36 and ask you to tell the time. what will you say? Now tell, Quelle heure est-il? (what time is it?)

V : After 4 mins, it'll be 10:40.

Me : WHAT?!

V : * triumphantly smiling at his witty answer *
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the class, when SIL asked me how the class was, I said "well, this must be the first time ever in history, and maybe, even in the future... the teacher was looking at the watch intently, waiting for the class to get over."

My Celebrations

Happy 2009, peeps!!!! Hope you have a great one with lotsa love, peace and may all your wishes come true!!!

Exactly 366 days ago, 3 mad girls decided to make the first day of each year special. (till atleast 2 out of 3 get married and move to inaccessible corners of the world). Hence the 3MGs, true to their word, did meet, caught up, teased, shut-ed-up, laughed at each other and redefined their friendship. Yes tis me and my 2 best friends, Pall and Sne; who have been the partners in crime with me during college and are the only ones who'll laugh at my rants and complaints. I'm so glad to have our friendship rejuvenating at the beginning of the year!! Love you loads, girls... though I know that you can't even spell b-l-o-g correctly!! :D
=========================================================
Here we go with a small snippet when I and Pall wanted to ask Sne if she was free for RNBDJ :

An sms from me to Sne : Hey! what shift hav you tom?

Sne : Y re? wt hpnd?

Me : Me n pall getting married tom morn. She @ her plc, me at mine. Plz come. Gifts accepted.

Sne :oh WOW! Congratssss! Who r da lucky guys?? hav eve shift, so u ppl btr mak it fast. I hav to go!

hehehe smart girl!

And... that isn't all. If all goes according to our million dollar plan, I'll be meeting them again on Saturday and watch "Rock on"..i.e. if all goes acording to our million dollar plan.
========================================================

And again that's not all. I meet my 2 more best childhood friends, Tj and Shrads on Sunday for lunch!! Yay! That means they won't whack me and I can finally return Tj's book that been with me since ages. I'm soo very looking forward to meet you girls, that I almost fell off my terrace yesterday!
==================================================

Here's something more :

Tj : so we meet this sunday?! Final??

Me : haan baba..pukka!

Tj : see this time you cancel plans, main tujhe phone par se haath daalke maroongi.

Me : HA HA HA HAHAA.. waisa hai toh, I have already cancelled plans. Please do the needful!
====================================================

And that yet isn't all... Ji's coming this Feb. And we are gonna celebrate birthdays together!! I'm super excited since we'll be seeing each other after 3 years!!

Here's something that I shared with Ji and couldn't stop laughing : (psst... this copy+paste is w/o her permission, so if she's anywhere near planning to turn me black n blue in Feb; I'm keeping my passport handy :D)

Orkut scrap from me to Ji : Hey Happy new year, Ji!

Reply fm Ji to me : to you tooo!! oh btw since ur birthday is also in the beginning of the year.. i wanted to ask you does it giv u jitters to knw that you will be yet another year older?

Soo, it isn't just me who feels 24 yrs is like OLD!! that means.. I M NORMAL!!!
==========================================================

And the last but not the least "and that's isn't all" is that I'm gonna meet my batchmate, Pra, after 8 long years!! Date not yet fixed, but I'm gonna make it happen in Jan.

==========================================================

That means I have 2 month long dhaasu celebrations planned for this New Year! Do I still need to mention I love all of them?

V & Me

V :: Where's my red pen?

Me :: I dunno.

V :: There should be google no? type what you want in the search bar and lo! you get it.

Me :: No re. Not Google. Google would just give details of the pen, it's brand, colour, ball point radius etc. Google Earth. Fly to locate the product in which inconspicuous corner of the remotest and the last-to-be-searched drawer it would be found.

V :: hehehehe....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

V :: .... you know if I'd got this done at Sg, it would have cost me arnd 450 S$. (referring to his newly made chasma)

me :: we'll do business then. you take orders from there and I get it done here. then you sell it there for 450 S$. lotsa money, what say you?

V :: you are bad at physics, chemistry, biology. and your maths sux.

me :: thats precisely why I did not opt for science, you see.

V :: but you are miserable at commerce too!!! who'll buy from me if I sell it for 450 S$.

me :: hehe hehe sooorry.. when you come my brain outsources it's thinking to you. :P

--------------------------------------------------------------------

V :: you PC is ancient. it takes ages to load ....

me :: I warned you before and also said that I will not accept any complaints. I know I have to get it formatted.

V :: before you do that, take backup of the files n folders that you want.

Me :: I know it. I'm not so dumb, y'kno? I'll format and take back up.

V :: no no, you have to back up then format.

Me :: Thats what I said... I'll format and back up.

V :: stupppiiid!! back up first then format.

Me :: I know, I know!!!! thats what I was saying.... umm... just a slip of tongue.

3 Cups Coffee, 3 Gals n Mad Conversations

What's the past tense of " to see -off someone"? Because I just saw-off/ see-d - off/ see- offed 2 of my best gal friends who'd come over for a chat. It was mighty refreshing as for the past one month my social life was nearing ZERO.... (Baby J, my niece, was here.. and she being the centre of all attention.)

The highlight of our conversation:

S: .......arreee, but why do you want to give off your jeans...??

Me: They fit you properly naa... then take.

S: But why?? they are nice.

Me: yeah they are... they don't fit me, anymore.

S: But you are not fatter than me. (* Imp Note: S isn't fat... that implies nor am I)

Me: They still don't fit.... and you know me, any discomfort to me and I don't use it...

S: Ok but you seriously wanna give them.... I mean kyun re?

Me: See, what another option I had? and I didn't want to give them to those street beggars. Imagine, next time I go driving on Univ road... they come begging for money wearing my jeans... imagine that???

S: hahahahahahaa... you are too much... what imagination!!

P: No Purni, they sell it y'kno?

Me: Yeah re right.. they sell them... imagine next time I drive by what if they come selling my jeans to me... aur woh bhi profit main?? :O

S: hehehehhe... I'm taking them alright!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

S: you giving away tops too?? are you mad??

Me: They are just 4 tops and I ain't forcing you.. pick the ones you like.... no compulsion at all....

S: hmmm...

Me: arre take.... If you reject them I will think of disposing it off in some other way.... so take the ones you like.

S: alright... how much do I pay you??

Me: pay me?!!!!?? I said, I'm giving off.. not selling!!!

S: arre tell naa.. how much??

Me: are you serious??? they are free for you...

S: pagal hai kya re tu?

Me: alright... 700 per jeans.... so into 3... that makes it 2100.. pay up.

P:tu kyun is se behes kar rahi hai... take no if you want.

S: alright alright... I take them....... free.

hehehe... mad friends I have. And yes, my cupboard is singing merry tunes. :)