Candid, not Candied

Thursday, 26 November 2009


It's been a year today. an event that will appear in the history books in black and white, a few years from now.

Today morning, while heading to the office, heard Dr. Satyapal Singh, Commisioner of Pune, on the radio announcing that you can come and pay respect to all those who lost their life in the tragedy. I knew I had to go too.

Before I realised, my vision was clouded with tears and I had to hold them back for the sake of driving safely.

I'm just back from lighting candle at the police station. I don't know what I felt. It is hard to put my sentiments into words.

My insides felt like they were made of lead. I couldn't help shivering in my place when i was standing in silence, paying respects. What could I say to those who left us behind? Thanks for doing what you did? Sorry for what happened? May your souls rest in peace?

None! all I could feel was anger mixed with sadness. WHY did this happen? Who was responsible for what and who bore its outcome?

I honestly want to go back in time and change all that happened. I'm avoiding watching the television cz I know I won't be able to bear the constant replays of those events.

If this is what I feel, their families must be going through hell. I wish there was something I could to do to ease off their pain.

P.S. disabling comments for this post

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

What's the 'F' word now?

*** Disclaimer : If you are below 18 years of age and reading this, you better go elsewhere, because, technically, you shouldn't be reading this post.

And after reading the above disclaimer, if you, yes you, below 18- minor dude/ dudette, is still reading this, let me tell you, I haven't written anything here that'll tickle your hormones... nor are there any pics that'll magnet your eyes to this screen. Basically, there's nothing here, just an aunty-ish drag post about the 'F' word. AND, if you have read till here, and do not yet know what the 'f' word is (which i'm not ready to believe, gotcha!), don't ask your parents what the 'F' word is... you'll get a beating. I'm done lecturing you here!


I'm sure the rest of you know the 'F' word inside out. Wait a minute, I'm sure everyone knows the 'F' word inside out. Naturally, I'm included in too. However, I have never liked the word. Never even used it - not in public and not even in my own privacy. Never ever. Then why do I write about the word?

I never use it doesn't mean others don't. I know people who use the word instead of a full stop to their sentences. I know people who, when they burn up chant the word like it were a cooling mantra. I know people who say the word and quickly glance around to see if anyone has caught them mouthing the infamous 'F'. People use it with varying degrees of frequency. Each one tailor makes the usage of the word according to their convenience.

I remember staring at one of my classmate at AFP when she uttered the word out LOUD, when she remembered that she'd not done the homework. I must have stared at her till it hurt her soul, because she returned my stare with you-have-a-problem-with-that-girl-? stare back at me. I wasn't shocked, or for that matter devastated to hear it. Just amused.

Today, the word has fallen on my ears so many times, that it no longer makes me raise my eyebrows. nor do i feel uncomfortable when every noun is embellished with that adjective. It could be 'f-ing' rains to 'f-ing' ministers to 'f-ing' nonsense to 'f-ing' female to a 'f-ing' sense of humour. Nowadays the word makes me wanna crack up... which I do when the situation is clowny enough.

Basically used as a swear word, it has definitely lost all its essence. Thanks to the above mentioned. Anyhow, I never thought any swear word was ever justified. But today, I feel that swear words were meant for certain someone(s)... that they exist because people worth them exist. The people that I see around me... with hopeless behaviour, unnecessary arrogance, magnified stupidity, and rudeness beyond comprehension ... I support each and every one who throw the 'f' word at such people. Still I have maintained the sanctity of my language by not using the 'f' word.

Ok, I digressed for a paragraph... but i needed to.

Lately, 'f' resides with everyone as it is the most natural thing in the world. Not that I have a problem with it... it just doesn't register with me. I can't bring myself to use it, under whatever circumstances.... and this is what amazes me. For me its just another word, that has empty meaning and rhymes very much with "yuck". So that totally explains why i never want to use it.

I do not understand this word like I do not understand why people smoke or get drunk. For me the 'f' word is a simple confusion that I'm gonna stand and stare.

Oh, and btw, the under 18 junta, if you are still hanging in here; nothing great right?

ETA :: Also, I find it pretty funny when they beep the word on TV. Its not like people do not know about it. The word flies off so often that I bet children know it too... why bother beeping it then?


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