My Space

Though I come off as an extroverted person through my blog, Orkut, Fb, G-chats etc.; I've a space around me that I fiercely want to defend; physically or otherwise too. I've my pet peeves which may seem preposterous to some, but nonetheless, the territory around me, I keep safeguarded. I'm a privacy-lover.

• I cannot share-read a book/ magazine/ newspaper. Either I read it or you do. But we both can't at the same time. Not even if you want to just read one line. I prefer and always do, hand it out to you and read it later than read it with you. It is always me and my reading material and no one in between.
• I detest people who stand too close while speaking to me. Personally I maintain a one-hand-distance between myself and the person I'm talking to, unless we are walking side by side. I tend to move a step backwards if anyone treads that space. And usually, that conversation ends up motional if seen in fast forward.
• Similarly, I cannot tolerate if someone touches me frequently while talking. Like backslapping, pushing, poking...My cousins, specially brothers, know how well my reflex actions land on their upper arms. Generally, I stand with my hands cross-folded, which is seen as an aggressive or rather a defensive posture. I sub-consiously follow this. Neither am I too touchy-feely. Hugs repel me big time. Even though some friends believe in religious hugs when met after a hiatus, I try to finish it off within 2 seconds. I'd rather let my gift of gab take over to comminicate the 'I-missed-you' process.
• I need some time during the day to brood. It's my 'don't talk to me unless I talk to you' time. They may not be fruitful or sensible contemplations. Nevertheless I appreciate the time I get to reflect on my past-present-future, regardless of the depth of my thoughts. If I don't get that time, I catch it up while I go to sleep. I will not fall asleep unless and until I make peace with myself.
• While blogging too, I see to it that I have complete privacy. I will adamantly not write when someone's around. I close the door when I'm blogging. And if someone does enter, I minimize the page. Dunno why! After all, once the post is published, it is open for the whole world to read, isn't it? Silly!
• I feel jittery when my cell is not with me and is with someone else. My sent/ received messages are as yawn-able as HI's and Hello's. Still it makes me uncomfortable if the cell is anywhere except my hand or pocket. Also, I always, ALWAYS, keep it on silent no matter where I am. Attributing this trait to two things here : my utter hatred towards my cell emitting sounds (sweeter of the sweetest ringtones are a noise for me) and the fact that I don't like the world to know I've had a call or a message unless I want to make it known. My parents have rebuked me so many times for this, yet I take no notice. Stubborn-ness!
• If I have to answer a call, I go to another room and then speak. I am unable to concentrate with people staring my face searching for hints/ expressions. Be it anyone. In unavoidable situations where I have to talk in front of full audience, I resort to monosyllables and get back to them as soon as I'm alone.
• You HAVE TO ask for MY permission to use MY things. Specially, my footwear! I fly into silent rage if that doesn't happen. I don't care if our shoe sizes match or it looks better on you than on me. I go super mad if people think what I own is what they can rightfully call their own. Exceptions in some cases, but majority rests. It isn't that I don't know/ want to share my stuff, but personal stuff or the things that I'm sentimentally attached to, stay with me, even if it means carrying a tag of selfishness. My funda : If you can be shameless, I can be shamless + selfish + rude.
• If something bugs me, you know something is bugging me, but you'll never know what. I hold my issues close to me. They are for me to sort and no one. Insecurity rules me when it comes to my problems.
• My acceptances are verbal and my rejections are silent. So if you ask me anything and I don't reply it is not to be taken as I accepted it w/o a battle. It means quite the opposite. The choice to remain silent is because I don't want to unnecessarily be rude or mean. I reserve my comments only when they are negative.

Does that make me difficult?