Candid, not Candied

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

My Space

Though I come off as an extroverted person through my blog, Orkut, Fb, G-chats etc.; I've a space around me that I fiercely want to defend; physically or otherwise too. I've my pet peeves which may seem preposterous to some, but nonetheless, the territory around me, I keep safeguarded. I'm a privacy-lover.
  • I cannot share-read a book/ magazine/ newspaper. Either I read it or you do. But we both can't at the same time. Not even if you want to just read one line. I prefer and always do, hand it out to you and read it later than read it with you. It is always me and my reading material and no one in between.
  • I detest people who stand too close while speaking to me. Personally I maintain a one-hand-distance between myself and the person I'm talking to, unless we are walking side by side. I tend to move a step backwards if anyone treads that space. And usually, that conversation ends up motional if seen in fast forward.
  • Similarly, I cannot tolerate if someone touches me frequently while talking. Like backslapping, pushing, poking...My cousins, specially brothers, know how well my reflex actions land on their upper arms. Generally, I stand with my hands cross-folded, which is seen as an aggressive or rather a defensive posture. I sub-consiously follow this. Neither am I too touchy-feely. Hugs repel me big time. Even though some friends believe in religious hugs when met after a hiatus, I try to finish it off within 2 seconds. I'd rather let my gift of gab take over to comminicate the 'I-missed-you' process.
  • I need some time during the day to brood. It's my 'don't talk to me unless I talk to you' time. They may not be fruitful or sensible contemplations. Nevertheless I appreciate the time I get to reflect on my past-present-future, regardless of the depth of my thoughts. If I don't get that time, I catch it up while I go to sleep. I will not fall asleep unless and until I make peace with myself.
  • While blogging too, I see to it that I have complete privacy. I will adamantly not write when someone's around. I close the door when I'm blogging. And if someone does enter, I minimize the page. Dunno why! After all, once the post is published, it is open for the whole world to read, isn't it? Silly!
  • I feel jittery when my cell is not with me and is with someone else. My sent/ received messages are as yawn-able as HI's and Hello's. Still it makes me uncomfortable if the cell is anywhere except my hand or pocket. Also, I always, ALWAYS, keep it on silent no matter where I am. Attributing this trait to two things here : my utter hatred towards my cell emitting sounds (sweeter of the sweetest ringtones are a noise for me) and the fact that I don't like the world to know I've had a call or a message unless I want to make it known. My parents have rebuked me so many times for this, yet I take no notice. Stubborn-ness!
  • If I have to answer a call, I go to another room and then speak. I am unable to concentrate with people staring my face searching for hints/ expressions. Be it anyone. In unavoidable situations where I have to talk in front of full audience, I resort to monosyllables and get back to them as soon as I'm alone.
  • You HAVE TO ask for MY permission to use MY things. Specially, my footwear! I fly into silent rage if that doesn't happen. I don't care if our shoe sizes match or it looks better on you than on me. I go super mad if people think what I own is what they can rightfully call their own. Exceptions in some cases, but majority rests. It isn't that I don't know/ want to share my stuff, but personal stuff or the things that I'm sentimentally attached to, stay with me, even if it means carrying a tag of selfishness. My funda : If you can be shameless, I can be shamless + selfish + rude.
  • If something bugs me, you know something is bugging me, but you'll never know what. I hold my issues close to me. They are for me to sort and no one. Insecurity rules me when it comes to my problems.
  • My acceptances are verbal and my rejections are silent. So if you ask me anything and I don't reply it is not to be taken as I accepted it w/o a battle. It means quite the opposite. The choice to remain silent is because I don't want to unnecessarily be rude or mean. I reserve my comments only when they are negative.

Does that make me difficult?


  1. All of that is in some part, me :)

    Who said being difficult was a bad thing anyway?

  2. it makes u a lot like me. and i can u'stand why dewey thinks it's like her! :D
    being difficult is WAY better than being easy. ;)

  3. am i surprised? i donno!

    and has your not commenting being synonymous to negative comments got anything to do with you not commenting on my blog of late? temme?

    you are missed!

  4. :)
    Its you, You is you and full of you. that's what anyone is na..

  5. @ DDD,
    naah, I dint say being difficult was bad... I was just looking for some confirmations. hehehe...

    @ Rayshma,
    being difficult is easy. Being easy is difficult! :P

    @ Jinu,
    awww... nopes, dear! I know I can be frank with you and speak my mind. I'm aware of my non-commenting status for your blog. That was because I didn't find any justifying words to my thoughts abt your recent posts.
    Send me your cell number, ASAP!

    @ Ajan,
    Big Block letters that spell my name in the blog heading and the URL should say it all, no? This was something in detail.

  6. I answered your question infact

  7. guess tht shud make things easy!

  8. @ Ajan,
    u did? really?

    @ Sawan,
    For others? I hope so!

  9. yes it does make you difficult...but being difficult aint bad really, just as long as you dont make life difficult for somebody else...

  10. Very well said, Mithun! I wonder if these qualities, of mine do make someone else's life difficult? Dunno, others shud let me know! :P

  11. Not difficult really... Just a way of you being you I guess...

    Just realised though... almost everything you said is exactly the opposite of how I feel... strange!!!!!

  12. :) Girlie, we need to talk abt this.. nxt time we meet we know how to keep Shrads confused for a long time, no?

  13. It just makes you an intensely private person and there's nothing wrong in that. I hate to share my space too.My pet peeve is to share my clothes with anybody, even if she is my best friend. To let you on a secret, I never liked wearing my mother's sarees....does that make me weird?

  14. makes me feel you are a single child. Is it so?

  15. @ Aparna,
    There's so much absurdity in each one of us that now, it doesn't surprise me as much. Reading others' blogs has helped me a lot. I've come to terms with the fact that each one is bestowed by their own traits... so i have no right calling anyone weird. hehehe I'm so myself!

    @ Sujata,
    Welcome here! :)
    Nopes, I ain't a single child. Infact, my growing years were spent in the company of my cousins as well as my own sibling. I know, this post somewhat translates me as a pampered kid to someone who's a stranger to me. I was no more pampered than a lion by his ringmaster! :P

  16. Hi, came to your blog via Sujata's. This post reminded me of myself at your age, before my own space got hijacked by the hubby and them trampled upon totally by the kids. Enjoy your rights while you can!!!

  17. @ Suchitra,
    :) welcome! Thanks for that piece of advice! wll enjoy my liberties as long as I can. :D

  18. oh.. trust me.. a lot of ppl find being easy really easy! :P

  19. Damn! your comment was damn difficult (to understand)! hehehehehe

  20. we are somewhat alike. I guard my privacy like my life. Nice blog there. :)

  21. @ She's got a name,
    Welcome and thanks for liking my blog too. I guess, we, the like minded people, can understand what it means to us, no?

  22. I can relate to all of them listed here (except the phone in silent mode :P It ll b in low volume but not in silent mode) cz I am like that too... esp, the chappal/personal stuff sharing part... I can live with being difficult cz ultimately it is "me" I have to live with. And there is no point trying to be someone else u r not.


Go on, say it! I will not sue you... pinky promise!


Related Posts with Thumbnails