Candid, not Candied

Saturday, 27 December 2008

Tagged by Ji.

I had actually made a rule for myself, "a tag a month". And this is the second one in this month. I just realised that I have created a monster in Jinu by introducing her the ways of torture through TAGs. hehhehee.... Nevertheless, I'm all for tags and considering that this chubby lill' girl is an adorable friend, I shall relent this time. :)

1. The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?
A. Pinch my nose, take a deep breathe and tilt the goblet into the sink!

2. You can punch a hole in an apple using a straw. How do you think that makes your milkshake feel?
A. All shake-n-up!

3. You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?
A. Behind the curtains.

4. Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?
A. Yes! Darwin proved so. The nitrogen combined with hydrochloric acid in the air mixed up with phosphorous and minerals in water eroded the spoon and it became the fork.

5. Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?
A. It will be made of sugar, spice and everything nice. And it will commemorate my ability to accept tags and do them. heheheee

6. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?
A. B'coz I would drown, as simple as that.

7. The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:
A. OUAT, there was a bald frog who wore a wig so that he looks handsome. And suddenly, he saw a bald frogini across the road who also wore a wig to look beautiful. In feverish excitement he started hopping towards her, when a huge truck came and ironed it flat against the road. Frog died, frogini cried. Inky Pinky Ponky!

8. You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
A. with buying a monstrously huge AXE!

I pass on this tag to Rachana, Shaili, Rayshma, Tejaswini and Nitin .

Rach - exams soon over and you fit the crazy eligibilty for this tag. Hence the tag.
Shaili - tagging her for the first time. Hence the tag.
Rayshma - gathered courage to tag my gurini. Hence the tag.
Tejaswini - is in a major galat phaimi that she's been granted the immunity to do all the tags in the world. Forgotten that I am back to blogging, eh? Hence the tag.
Nitin - hasn't yet done my earlier tag. But promised me he will. so you might do even this one. Hence the tag.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

:O I have 5 followers!!!! Mukta, Varsha, Shaili, Twisted Elegance and Jinu!!! Thank you, guys. I feel so encouraged.... and touched. *sniff*

Edited to add :: :'( How could I forget my gurini???! who is the absolute reason for me to restart my blogging life??? *Drum rolls* RAYSHMA!! I didn't know you had me on G Reader. And while you are reading this; can you please temme where to comment on your blog?? or some place where i can redirect my comments?

Monday, 15 December 2008

Rab ne bana di jodi

... but whoever made this film????!!!!!

I stifled 5 yawns, straight one after the other, when the names were dancing on the 70 mm. Going for RNBDJ was an immense bravery task for me considering that (i) it was an SRK movie (ii) I knew SRK will scowl and cry and make clown faces all at the same time (iii) i knew whatever i say abt SRK is gonna fall on deaf ears (bcuz of reason iv) and (iv) I was going to go with 2 perennially-addicted-to, swooning-at-the-name-of, loyal, ardent SRK fans! And yet I chose to go was because I'd made this friend of mine come for A Mighty Heart, just because I wanted to see our french directeur in the movie. So, bleh!

The movie started with middle class Surinder (SRK) escorting his newly attained wife (Anushka Sharma) in his very middle class sober home which is situated at a very middle class locality in Amritsar. Then it dragged, like really did... and I could no longer hold it back, I yawned severely several times. Since I did not want my eyes to shut involuntarily, i reminded myself that I had paid for the movie tickets this time.

Fine so, where was I? ohh, yeah, Suri came on screen... and bored the audience with his boring looks, boring dialogues, boring attachment towards his wife and I yawned.... keep the count please. I liked a few parts in the movie, otherwise it's nothing but a good dose of medicine for insomniacs.

Then came Raj... (YRF movie, so Raj is a must-have character like a cherry atop a black forest pastry...only this time it was a smelly cherry and the cake, 7 days beyond it's expiry), his cheap looks, cheap dialogues, cheap attachment towards a married woman. It's in the same movie. Go find who's Raj now. He made the not-so-happy-more-so-sad Suri's wife laugh, dance, opened up a new world for her... sheesh..why am I even typing all this??? In short, he loves her, she loves him but is obligated to her hubsand who ... never mind...

I banged my head against an imaginary wall when the heroine maroed pathetic and repetitive dialogues "tum kyon aye mere zindagi main, Raj?" and "maine pyaar ke saare darwaje bandh kiye the Raj" and "main uss pyaar ka gala ghonth chuki thi Raj." and "Mujhe yahaan se le chalo Raj." C'mon pleeeeeeezzzzzzzzz...

By the time the movie got over I was teary eyed. No, not because I was moved sentimentally.... I was yawning continuously since the interval. I know my narration hasn't made any sense. The movie din't either. But my review is more entertaining than watching this ridiculous farce on screen.

When SRK made his appearance on screen, the chapri crowd of 6 guys howled. When Anushka came, they hooted and then they all went off to sleep.

Please don't waste money on this movie. Incase you have excess of it, credit it into my bank account. I happily accept cash donations. I use it for good social cause. I'll use it next time I go socializing with friends. :D

Friday, 12 December 2008

People... Co-operate!

The blasts happened... hijacks happened... and not until the recent Mumbai massacres happened, have people so closely experienced terrorism. Comman man feels naked at the hands of terrorism, so much so that a single firecracker sends chills down his spine.

The media harangued the so called leaders for their failure to protect the junta. People came on streets to condemn this act of terrorism, candles were lighted to pray for the departed souls. The indifference of politicians had the whole country gaping at them in mere shock. Accusations were hurled at each and everyone. Some said Intelligence failed, others said coastguards did, finally it is said that the governement failed to provide for the protection of the martyrs.... Blames are just too many and people like me and you are bumping into each other trying to find the reason for the failure and the solution for all this, like blind people in a closed room!!!

Agreed that we cannot turn back the time and start all over again. But can't we make a beginning? Why don't we try and be a responsible citizens? I'm in no way defending our present governement, nor am I impressed at the way they are handling the situation at hand... but do we co-operate? Hear me out...

Just repeating "Jai Hind" or "Let's stay united" is not patriotism. Our act determines how we define our patriotism. A small act goes a long way.

When at city malls, there are security checks, do we happily hand over our bags for checking? No, we crib!
At airports, if we are asked to open our luggage that is secured by a lock, because the X ray machine showed something suspicious, do we open it readily?? No, not without cursing the officer for even thinking that I may be a terrorist!
At signals, when the traffic policeman signals for us to stop and check our vehicles, don't we just speed by and hope that he hasn't noted our number? We do!
Similarly, now after this incident if the hotels insist on checking the baggage of the customers, I'm sure there shall be "I pay so much for one stay... why should I be made to go through this inconvinience?"
Why do we complain so much? Don't we realise that it is for our own safety? Won't it be more safe then if we know that people who have come in are NOT terrorists???

This isn't all. What happened to the "Helmet rule?" and the "seat belt" rule??? "10 pm deadline rule" during festivals??? Who follows them? Rules are made and we walk all over them.

Secondly, how many of us vote? Civics textbooks say voting is our right... Absolutely INCORRECT! It is our DUTY to vote. If we vote, then we have the right to complain against the governement we have choosen. If not, you have no right to voice you opinion about how bad the roads are or how inconvinient is the transport system. You just cannot, because you chose NOT to carry out your duty. What is the difference between the ministers and us if we do not vote? They don't do their duty as choosen representatives and we don't do our duty as citizens. Each vote counts, each one makes a difference... I appeal to the youth, basically every one who's above 18 to make a choice... to decide for ourselves. If we cannot go and fight for our country on the border, atleast let's do our jobs back home, that can ensure our own safety, our own well-being.

Remember it is not just the governement that is to be blamed, we are culprits too. "Govt hasn't made roads.... govt announced load shedding.... No water, what is the govt doing..." and many such complaints, but when govt makes foothpaths, we will walk on roads, when there are pedestrian crossing, we'll cross from where it is convinient for us to cross.... when there are subways, we'll still use the busy roads to walk across, die under a city transport bus and point fingers at the bus driver, since he's a govt employee... BUT we will not change our ways.

Stop taking things lightly, stop taking life for granted. I know, i have lectured heavily as if I do everything of the above... i plead guilty. I will take steps towards changing my way.

Things I already do :
1. Vote
2. use foothpaths and subways.
3. Throw garbage at the nearest garbage can. If none is available, I put it in my own bag.

Things that I will change :
1. Pay a fine if I do not follow traffic rules.
2. Not make a face if am asked to produce an identity proof.
3. Not crib before letting authorities check my car/ luggage.

I'm not insensitive....I'm angry, I cried while seeing the funerals of our brave martyrs, I fear for my and my loved ones' lives, I'm feeling helpless, just like every other Indian living in our country. Everyone has realised the fact that there is no one to protect us, or no one is even bothered if anything happens to us... it's each one for self! We don't have to take steps to change the whole nation, let's change our own self for the betterment of our society.

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Tug, Tug, Tag

Shaili's tagged me, well... some time back. I'm doing it today, though. For some good news to bloggers, read the end.

The tag starts as ::

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now (don’t take names) ::

1. Pay me, NOW!

2. When do we go to Haka?

3. Oh no... I forgot... again!

4. I will return your book ... and soon.

5. You better know your stuff... else I shall be the same Hitler I was for the last few months.

6. You should have been honest... I did not appreciate that... for that matter, no one did.

7. I was passing by and thought of dropping in.

8. I am waiting for your phone call.... call me, call me, call me, call mee.... caaallll meeeee!!!

9. You forgot... yet again... aha!

10. Hmm... I see you have given up on manners, eh?

Nine things about yourself ::

1. I can laugh. No surprises there. Anyone who knows me, knows this.

2. I'm straight forward and tit for tat person. I will behave in the same way that you behave with me. Take it or leave it.

3. I'm paradoxical.

4. I'll always be the last one to finish a meal when with friends... coz I do most of the talking.

5. I can't take compliments. I rarely believe they are true.

6. I can be real quiet at times.

7. I'm very possessive about my soft toys and books.

8. I'm very close to my family.

9. I am very moody.

Eight ways to win your heart ::

1. Be honest, in whatever you think, say.

2. Have atleast a minimum sense of humour.

3. Be able to laugh at nonsense.

4. Be simple yet classy. Simple and sloppy is a NO-NO.

5. Be decent - while talking specially... I can't stand anyone who talks like filth personified.

6. Talk intelligent.

7. Respect for elders as well as younger people.

8. Have a sense of responsibility

Seven things that cross your mind a lot ::

1. Paris.. my mind wanders there at every given opportunity.

2. My everyday "To Do" list.

3. What I need to teach my students.

4. My future, in general.

5. My baby J.

6. Things that do not mean much to others.

7. I think I'll skip this.. too hard to think.

Six things you wish you never did ::

1. Spent money on unnecessary things.

2. Give in to what others said.

3. Not stay firm with my decisions.

4. Delete my earlier blog.

5. Think too much or too little.

6. Take things for granted.

Five Turn offs ::

1. Bad breath and body odour... listerin and deos are please use them!!

2. Disrespect for women.

3. People who take life toooooo seriously

4. Self-obssessed people.

5. Fake behaviour.

Four turn on’s ::

Choose any four from "eight ways to win my heart"

Three things you want to do before you die ::

1. Get married and have a family.

2. See the whole world.. First in the list is Paris of course.

3. Celebrate my 100th birthday with my parents, my brother n fly, My husband, my children, grandchildren, great grand children... yes yes, I wish for this!

Two things someone told you that you’ll never forget ::

1. "Excuse me, have I seen you on Television? Are you Sharvari Jeminis??"

2. "I don't know what you do in class, but you are one hell of a trainer! Students love you!"

One Confession ::

1. I have many confessions to make... one is just not fair!

Now for the good news, I tag no one. Yes, you heard me right. Although, anyone who's suffering from writer's block may flick this. I won't sue you for that.

Edit :: On special request by Jinu , I tag her. Now Jinu, you put me up to it.. do this.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Maid for each other

"ohh what kat - kat of these kaamwali bai-s!!" is what each one of the Madamji-s must have uttered atleast a thousand times, if not more. These luxurious items* that most have at their homes though regarded with little respect, and contempt at times, are in reality, the much sought after, necessarily needed and desperately wanted, staff.

The relation between a bai and her respective madamji, is altogether on a different platform. The madamji indeterminately complains about what a lousy job the bai does... and the bai, not to be left far behind, complains the meager salary that she has to thrive on, despite the fact that Diwali bonus has happened ten days back!! Wait a sec, the much- much doesn't end here... she has three children to support, the household runs entirely on her salary, because her husband is a drunkard/ a womaniser/ a gambler, and in many cases, all of the above. But our educated madamji-s, haar nahi manengi, they'll say you work at 7 different places... what do you do with that money??! Smart, eh?

The zhadu-pocha-bartan-kapda regime goes on with general knowledge addition classes brought to you bai the by. :D It indeed soothes the madamji's ears to hear when Mrs. Gaitonde's daughter is going to return from the US, has she married an american? or does she have children already??!!!!, and what happened at the kitty party where mananiya madamji wasn't invited. In return the bai is waived off from cleaning the balcony which was due. Whoever would want to waste the precious time in getting the balcony washed than listen to the loud Chinese whispers??!!!!

Now, it is 12 pm sharp and the bai hasn't turned up! Unconcerned, the bai has decided to excuse herself from the duties. When the madamji starts showing symptoms of blowing her top, cunning bai will make her son call up for an emotional upfront... that leaves the poor madamji to get down to work, literally of course, much against her wishes. Thus, when the bai-s are in dire need for an off, the madamji-s relentlessly put down their foot! It's cyclical, you see! GK classes - madamji complains "kona choot gaya" (yet not wanting the information outflow to stop) - bai complains "pagar nahi badhaya" (audaciously ignoring the donations in kind) - bai vacationing - madamji sulking - bai's sonny calling to say mommy unwell - madamji's meltdown... (err the heart, I mean) - once back to work, bai starts GK classes. See? Simple!

All this procedure comes to a screeching halt if saabs are present. You won't believe the silence that women are capable of maintaining if saabs are at home. This uncalled for dearth of communication renders the madamji helpless. Whereas, that day the bai will do some chance pe dance and will wrap up the ZPBK*(ref. para 3, line 1) in 15 minutes flat!! Next day bai will come prepared with swollen eyes to impress upon madamji, what heavy verbal abuse she has had with her DWG (ref. para 2, line 6) husband. Illiterate, maybe... but they hold a doctorate degree in giving myriad excuses.

So you see... this is no-strings-attached friendship. You wished she would be more punctual, less demanding. She wished you would raise her pagaar every alternate month. You wished she would stop exhibiting her domestic problems and she wished you would be a bit more sensitive to her daily obstacles. Yet none can do without each other. You'll employ her inspite her sloppy job, she'll work inspite of your constant picking and remarks. Cheers to this 1 hr stint that goes on at every household.

Cheers to all the bai-s too, for all the help that they are to working/ non-working women. "bai, bai, man moraacha kassa pisaara phulala!!"

* definitely not derogatory; to be taken in a positive and humouristic way!


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