Candid, not Candied

Monday, 15 December 2008

Rab ne bana di jodi

... but whoever made this film????!!!!!

I stifled 5 yawns, straight one after the other, when the names were dancing on the 70 mm. Going for RNBDJ was an immense bravery task for me considering that (i) it was an SRK movie (ii) I knew SRK will scowl and cry and make clown faces all at the same time (iii) i knew whatever i say abt SRK is gonna fall on deaf ears (bcuz of reason iv) and (iv) I was going to go with 2 perennially-addicted-to, swooning-at-the-name-of, loyal, ardent SRK fans! And yet I chose to go was because I'd made this friend of mine come for A Mighty Heart, just because I wanted to see our french directeur in the movie. So, bleh!

The movie started with middle class Surinder (SRK) escorting his newly attained wife (Anushka Sharma) in his very middle class sober home which is situated at a very middle class locality in Amritsar. Then it dragged, like really did... and I could no longer hold it back, I yawned severely several times. Since I did not want my eyes to shut involuntarily, i reminded myself that I had paid for the movie tickets this time.

Fine so, where was I? ohh, yeah, Suri came on screen... and bored the audience with his boring looks, boring dialogues, boring attachment towards his wife and I yawned.... keep the count please. I liked a few parts in the movie, otherwise it's nothing but a good dose of medicine for insomniacs.

Then came Raj... (YRF movie, so Raj is a must-have character like a cherry atop a black forest pastry...only this time it was a smelly cherry and the cake, 7 days beyond it's expiry), his cheap looks, cheap dialogues, cheap attachment towards a married woman. It's in the same movie. Go find who's Raj now. He made the not-so-happy-more-so-sad Suri's wife laugh, dance, opened up a new world for her... sheesh..why am I even typing all this??? In short, he loves her, she loves him but is obligated to her hubsand who ... never mind...

I banged my head against an imaginary wall when the heroine maroed pathetic and repetitive dialogues "tum kyon aye mere zindagi main, Raj?" and "maine pyaar ke saare darwaje bandh kiye the Raj" and "main uss pyaar ka gala ghonth chuki thi Raj." and "Mujhe yahaan se le chalo Raj." C'mon pleeeeeeezzzzzzzzz...

By the time the movie got over I was teary eyed. No, not because I was moved sentimentally.... I was yawning continuously since the interval. I know my narration hasn't made any sense. The movie din't either. But my review is more entertaining than watching this ridiculous farce on screen.

When SRK made his appearance on screen, the chapri crowd of 6 guys howled. When Anushka came, they hooted and then they all went off to sleep.

Please don't waste money on this movie. Incase you have excess of it, credit it into my bank account. I happily accept cash donations. I use it for good social cause. I'll use it next time I go socializing with friends. :D

12 comments:

  1. thank you thank you thank you! i was just waiting for someone to tell me that the movie sucked! I was horrified to see the advance booking queue here!

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  2. thehehehe! expected the movie to be a sucker as soon as i saw the AD...hehe! My guess turned out to be true..woooohoooo!!!

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  3. 1. i HATE SRK, even tho i sell him ardently as GOD.
    2. i refuse to watch YRF movies directed/writted by the chopra with SRK.
    3. did u see the branding we got at the end of the movie?! :D
    4. see the promos of new york. very interesting.

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  4. @ Jinu & Ajan,

    every SRK + yrf movie sucks... i knew this one would too. Don't u think SRK should consider retirement??

    @ Rayshma,
    1. ditto
    2. would love to ditto
    3. what end?! i ws too dazed to realise when the movie ended.
    4. yup! 1st 1/2 of the promo reminded me of Dostana, then the twist happened.

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  5. see this is why I love piracy! You can watch silly movies for absolutely nothing at all :)

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  6. My sympathies, for your having sat through this one!! :P :-))

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  7. hey Cool Cancerian,

    Welcome!!! and thanx a lot for all those sympathies... i really need them to restore my mental balance!! :))

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  8. ...And that is why I never went to watch the movie... Had wanted to watch the movie when the promos first came out in his bholabhala avtaar... and then came that dace pe chance or vice versa song and... I knew this one had to be a loser of a movie... Thanks for the interesting review though...

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  9. Well why dont you start writing reviews of movies??? It ll save a lot of money for lots of your readers!!!! (Economy will boom you see!!!)

    And secondly, You meant credit into your bank account right???

    ReplyDelete

Go on, say it! I will not sue you... pinky promise!

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