TOUCH Thursday Prompt no. 1 - For that Friend I long

We grow to believe during our childhood, or schooldays that friends are forever. That the equation, camaraderie, comfort remains the same, come what may. I have learnt the hard way that nothing is permanent. Not even friendship. At least it is not the same as it started out to be.

One shares a relationship with a friend. And like many others, it goes through a sea of changes. It evolves. Some events bring friends closer while some tear them irreparably apart. Ego, betrayal, non communication, misunderstanding are the strongest and fastest killers of friendships.

To have a friend above all that would be difficult to find, but not impossible. Two girls that I have grown with and have shared so much, are at the core of my life. All three of us being the same age, go through similar experiences that life throws at stipulated periods. Empathy has brought us closer. Whether it was the pressure of board exams or anxiety of getting married, we have been through it together. We find solace in venting out in each others' company. Although we try not to be judgmental, it does happen. We blame; we have that unsaid I-am-upset-with-you phases. We are humans and we err. The essence of it is, we forgive misgivings and carry on like before.

Being there for a friend in happiness is desirable. The joy only multiplies. I remember when I broke the news of my pregnancy to these girls over a video chat. They cried. I had not expected them to cry over my great news, but they did. And in that just moment I knew these two were for real and for the keeps.

No one can deny the emotional support that a friend extends during the "down" part. Sometimes things get so bad that everything looks hazy. The mind is so clouded that it refuses to see a path through it. All you need is a fresh perspective and some non sugarcoated words of reason. Recently, some sudden turn of events left me perplexed. The chaos was mindboggling. Needless to say it was some encouragement that helped me pull away from the obvious distress.

I am absolutely keeping these two for an entire lifetime. We have discussed education, we have suffered the "groom hunt", we have undergone pains of pregnancy and infanthood of our kids. There is a lot more we have to see as a team. We may be continents and time zones apart, but we remain connected through hearts.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my first attempt at writing prompts. While I was a little skeptical, I have gone for it this time since it is hosted by one of my favorite authors, Preeti Shenoy. Check out this link if you are interested enough in doing the prompt yourself.

TOUCH - The One You Cannot Have, is her next release.

And this is the banner

Interesting?

Rough Around the Edges

When my husband made Aloo baingan (stir-fried eggplants with potatoes, if you must) for the first time a couple of weeks ago, I was all praises. I just couldn't stop raving about how wonderful it tasted and how lucky was I to have him in my life, every time I went in for a helping.

Yesterday, upon request, he made it again. This time, I gulped my entire portion without a single word. Even a while after dinner, I did not say anything about how it turned out to be. Only when he openly asked me about it, did I realise that I'd given no reaction whatsoever. It was good as it was previously. What was missing this time was my excitement to acknowledge the same. 

I am like that. A lot many times than I want to be. I forget to acknowledge. I forget to speak up even though that is exactly what I am thinking. I do that so many times only to realise a tad too late. Like in this case, I was admiring the meal with every bite, but it never occurred to me that I should speak up. It may not seem such a big issue right here, but there are times when I should say something and I do not. It is preposterous, if you ask me. 

Lately, I started to reflect on why I do this and I did come up with a possible explanation to my dearth of manners to acknowledge something. I think, I am so over stuffed with a certain emotion, that they block out all my words. There is so much to react to that I do not react at all or I react later/ lesser than expected. Rather I forget some essential things; like the formality to do or say something. I am going to quote a few examples.

Whenever any of my friends come home, I (have) never, never offered them a glass of water. Even if they come walking in the hot summer sun, I have never sat them down and offered them a drink of cool water. My friends tease me that I have no manners and do not know how to treat guests. This happens only with my friends. If it is any other person, I'll be the first one to jump up and do the needful. 

I always get an earful from my mother for this. Knowing my lack of "Atithi Devo Bhava" spirit, she makes it her job to look after my friends. In fact, a close friend of mine and my mom exchange looks on how long I take to realise my blunder!

I am actually so happy to see them that I instantly launch into a charade and forget all about carrying out basic formalities. (Also in this case, I think my close friends are welcome to think of my house as theirs and help themselves to the kitchen. Of course, it doesn't always work that way!)

It was a few days before Aa's birthday that another of our close friends offered to help us in the preparations. Although they have a kid of Aa's age, they said they'd love to come over a day before and help. All I could manage to say was, it wasn't required since somebody else had already agreed. I did not thank, nor did I say I was sorry that I couldn't use their help at that time. They are very close friends and I had no intentions of hurting them or even being mean to them. But there I go, without Thanks or Sorry and just firing an explanation. I was very much humbled by their offer and my ignorance to accept that and communicate it to them hurts me even today.

Likewise I forget to congratulate, offer sympathies, be enthusiastic or wish someone. On a few occasions, I do not want to do them consciously, but these are not those. I genuinely feel happy or positive about something and I fail to execute the same in words/ reactions.

I need to work on it! 

Day 23 :: What made me happy today

We are on a roll! We invited some of KK's friends over for snacks. I presume you already know my friendship with cooking? Yeah, I kind of get all goosy when people come over. I never know what to make.

This time I called the shots and decided for myself what I would do. And I did! Successfully! Everything turned out great!

I feel content when guest who come, leave happily with a smile on their face. It's wonderful to know that they had a good time and enjoyed themselves. Yes, this is what makes me happy today. I am glowing at such a nice evening. I am dead tired now, but I am still *glowing*.

What made you happy today?

Day 22 :: Reunited!

Deepak and Shweta were the first friends in US with whom we hit off instantly. We have spent many happy hours in each others company.

Shweta made my life livable here. With such dearth of good friends, I found solace in her. We ranted, bitched, complained, laughed and shopped together. Our happiness knew no bounds when we broke the news of our respective pregnancies. We had the same due dates. And no, we hadn't planned that.

Now they live in a different area, a little far from where we live. But that didn't stop us from having a good time. We loved their company after a very long time and this time with our kids trying to pull each other's hair, lord! did we enjoy! Posting some snaps of the two "new" friends.

Happy Aarnavi! Happy to see some new faces!!!

"Look mama! Even I can pull her hair." - Avi

"Dadddy look, tongue comes out when avi pulls my hair!" - Aarnavi

"Yay!!!" - Avi

"Am I supposed to clap too?" - Aarnavi

Day 4 :: Disappointment sometimes

Friendship is a vague term. Just like "Love" is. There is no particular definition to it, nor any boundaries. Hence when someone is good to you, talks to nicely, smiles at you often, you instantly regard him/ her as a friend. And a person can have so many of them. It is hard to say if they are real friends or just casual someones.

I am choosy about befriending anyone. That is not be mistaken with being friendly. I can be friendly with any random person. As a result, I have very few friends and I have held them close to my heart. Maybe I am not that verbal, but friendship from my side has always been sincere and genuine. I cannot fake it. If I have to, I'd rather break the ties. 

Am I wrong in expecting the same kind of devotion to friendship from them? And is this the reason why I end up being disappointed and dejected and sometimes hurt when they fall short???

I remember a series of incidents in college that led to me having a huge fall out with  my so called friends. They called me rude and mean for being straight forward, for calling a spade a spade. And I called them hypocrites, for being hypocrites. They took my straight forwardness to heart, while they celebrated happy times bitching cruelly behind backs. I didn't mind if they hated me, but at least have he guts to tell it to me oin my face! I couldn't bear this two faced friendship. I severed ties with them but not without a verbal.

By then I fairly knew that not everyone is worth your trust`. I understand that my real friends take me as I am, sometimes telling me that being so blunt is not good. And I have respected that, even though I did not agree. 

What do you truly expect from a friend? Just that he shares your joys and understands your sorrows? I realised that not everyone with whom you hang out, spend fun time with, share some secrets with or gives you sound advice can meet your expectation. 

During my pregnant days in Pune, I encountered many friends, online and in person too. All of them were way too happy to see me in pregnant state. "Ohhhhhh you are having a baby??? How sweet, how cute!!!" was the general outburst from them. Everyone was pouring advices left, right and centre. And all of them wanted to be the first one to know whether it was a girl or a boy. And of course, everyone promised to come and meet the little one. 

I was at my parents' place for 5 months. None of these gushing, enthusiastic friends, who wanted to see Aa came to visit me. This is not just one or two of them. Many promised continually, and never turned up. One friend even told me she is coming for sure on Saturday. That Saturday never came.  

I am not saying that I am important or that my baby should be for someone. My point is why make a commitment when you do not plan to honour it? Why act concerned when you obviously do not seem to. Perhaps I would understand if this has happened with one or two friends. But all of them??? Except for my three friends, Pallavi, Shraddha and Tejaswini, who were behind my back to know what Aa does every day. I am so thankful that I still have some of those gems for friends. Others, are they just illusions?

I am not staking my friendship on this incident alone. I am not that fragile. But I can feel disappointed, can't I? 

I know I probably shouldn't have posted this on the eve of Friendship Day. But feelings don't see days! Promising a nice post tomorrow. 

Guest Post by N

A guest post!!! by N, my first and most favourite sister-in-law. Read on what's she got to say. Part 2 of the same will be up, which will be my version of the same story.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its been hell loong since I actually wrote anything; even a grocery list. So this blog post better be a good one from me. After all my Purnima now has a reputation to take care of.

Speaking of which, Purni (that's what I call her) and myself have known each other for God knows how long. The fact that she is related to my aunt, who is also her aunt, is the main reason. Well, doesn't my aunt and her aunt mean we might be cuz? Err.. no. Its like this, her aunt in the way of her mom's sister and my aunt being my uncle's wife... aah... now you get it!

Anyways, she's a year younger to me but then, that was never an issue. As long as I remember, my first impression of her was that of a girl who spoke her mind, regardless of who it was. I loved it and her; as it was something I would never even have courage of doing. She was, let us say, a "pataka". She was a little sis I never had, atleast until I had one.  She was the "city girl" in our chota sa village. When we wore salwar, oiled our hair and wore bindis, she would be in her pretty frocks/jeans with her wild curly hair loose. She was a dream we girls wanted to live. I don't think she would actually dream about oiling her hair like me. (blech!)

Zipping into the next 10-15 years, we grew up... meeting occassionally when she would come down during the school holidays to her aunt's house and I too would be there sometimes. Playing was out of question at that time. We just used to sit out and look at our brothers playing Lagori, Cricket and yell for tiniest of "cheatings".. sigh.. those were the days... 

I would like to tell you all my relation with her, she is now my sister in law (legally), but I care for her more... We fight, snicker, tease, bitch about our weight do all that stuff sisters do. We share clothes (unfortunately my waist is rather too big to fit into her clothes), and we both loooove books, hit restaurants like there is no tomorrow, and shop, shop, shop...In short, we are always there for each other (sniff..sniff). 


Purni has been a friend first and sister-in-law next. In fact, other than the mandatory crossover from her calling me by name to calling me "vanni" (bhabhi), nothing has changed between us. We drive her brother (and my husband, who happens to be the same person - V) crazy. The best proof of it would be when V tells us, "You girls are supposed to fight, not backing each other!" We get that from him each time that he is cornered or bullied by us. Or when he pulls our legs. Yeah, we do that a lot! Since I am not to, I let her do the pinching, hitting and punching parts.

We do all kinds of stuff teenagers would. Who cares how old you are? We are still kids :P (we have our own kid(s) now), but still... 

Now, our talks revolve around kids, cooking, books and we still bitch about our weight. I eye her non existence waist and she wants my thin matchstick legs.

How Purni went from being an occassional city friend to a full time sis in law? That's another story. 

I have to say, honestly, I never remember speaking to, far less even look at Purni's brother... When I asked him about it, he says he was busy with his college life. Later I found out he was too shy to speak to girls :P

The very first time I remember seeing her brother was at my uncle's place (duh!)  when I in my 2nd yr degree. A tall, rather skinny guy with French beard who was waaaaaaaaaaaay too shy for his age. After exchanging "Hellos", we were back to our own work. He was then working in Bangalore, and would come down to my uncle's place often during the weekends. I started seeing more of V and my impression of him never wavered. He was definetly the quiet type. We talked and I felt sad for him as I knew he missed his mom and sis way too much. He was actually away from them for the first time, and that too in a whole new state, where he did not even know the local language.

We exchanged email id's and kept in touch. In my final year, V popped up the million dollar question. Honestly, I was not expecting it so suddenly but I was not shocked either. I guess, somewhere in my mind I always knew this would have been the next step. Well, now that it was asked, I had to answer right?  I took my time and finally, I did tell him what I thought. 

For those who don't know me, we got married a year later - after he completed his MS and landed a job in Sg. Its now been 6 year plus and with 2 amazingly wonderful daughters, I wouldn't ask for anything more!

Day 12 : Is this what I think it is?

She : Hello! Who is this?

He : He who cannot be named!

She : Ha ha ha ha... Shut up! Wassup? No work today?

He : Naah, just taking a break. Was a winding week. And hell lot of work. Waddup with you? Hope didn't disturb you, did I?

She : No. I was taking a coffee break. Gotta attend a meeting, another ummm.. 30 minutes or so. 

He : Hmmm... that's cool.

She : So, why did you call?

He : JLT. Been a long time, didn't catch up with you. So I thought I'd say a hi. 

She : Yeah, seriously... it's been a while. 

He : Can you meet me today evening?

She : Today? uhhh... wait a minute.. I think... no, yes, I can. Yes. We can meet actually.

He : No, if you have other plans then alright... nothing urgent... just wanted to say "I Love You!"

She : WHAT???!

He : And wanted to ask you if you'll marry me.

She : Hey....

He : And will you bear me and my idiosyncrasies for the rest of your life.

She : WHAT are you saying?

He : All this, I will ask in person. Be ready to say a yes. Will meet at our usual place at 7 PM. See ya then. Bye.

She had made up her mind. She knew what the answer was. She couldn't wait for the clock to strike 7. 

Day 9 : Good times

I have realized that it is important to cherish every moment in life spent with your loved ones. You never know  when they will go away (or you will), and you never know whether or not you'll have the opportunity to get together again to live and celebrate the friendship. 

This post goes out to my dear and close friend, Shweta, who made life possible and livable in USA; whose kindness has touched me beyond words; whose patience is worth worshiping. 

Shweta, you rock! 

Day 7 : Just...

Spring is here, bringing along with it some new beginnings, new relations, new dreams, new outlook.

We are all for welcoming it (not without my outbursts of how I hate the unpredictable spring weather). We are having friends over for dinner, and it is gonna be one night to remember. With some people leaving us (temporarily, we're hoping), it is gonna be bitter-sweet. We are looking forward to the sweet part. Bitter can wait.

Just wrote this down now, to mark a date and not forget it in future. Maybe, one day, when we read this and feel nostalgic, April 23rd won't be just another day!

Day 3 : Fleeting Conversations

Some conversations just happen. They don't make you laugh till you burst. They make your day with their subtle humor. Some make you feel stupid, some make you feel like a complete dork! Conversation here happened between us and other people I know. I don't like taking names though. ;) :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She : I went to the grocery store today. guess who I met there. I met X. X said they are done with the shifting stuff. They love the new house. They are planning to invite us over this Saturday. Shayad they are throwing a party.

He : (watching tv, not even batting eyelids)

She : I think we should buy a gift for them. What do you think? I was thinking something nice and useful. Maybe a gift certificate or something. Oh and by the way before I forget, you don't forget to call that bank guy... what's his name?

He : (still watching tv, still not batting eyelids)

She : I said what's his name? Did you even hear a word I said? I don't know why I even bother! I think I have married the walls! and u do this to me every time. and when I don't respond to you, you get irritated. Before marriage, you kept your every work away to talk to me and you talked for hours on end. Now...

He : Dear, you have married me and not the walls... and I heard every word you said. Before marriage, were we staying together? No right. Now we do. I have 24*7 access to you. We will buy a gift certificate for them ok? That is a very nice idea. I have already called the bank guy. Nothing to worry. And his name is Y.(goes back to watching TV, without batting eyelids)

She : !!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------

She : These sandals are giving me blisters. I think I should throw them.

He : Better take a wise decision. I paid for your sandals but the feet came free with you!

-------------------------------------------------------------


She : This pillow cover just ripped through the seam...

He : Throw it and buy a new one.

A few days later...

She : This jacket hardly protects me from this cold.

He : Throw it. We'll find a new one for you.

A few more days later...

She : Remember I told you, our blender was making funny noises? Well, a little part has broken.

He : Throw it. Get a new one.

She : Well, nowadays you fight with me a lot. Shouldn't I get a new husband for myself?

He : !!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------

She : (reading the instructions on a wooden spatula) Look what it says here, "Hand wash only." Which idiot will wash them with his feet?

He : DUH! It means no throwing it into the dishwasher!!

She : I know! I was kidding!

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was his birthday. She arranged for a cake and invited their friends. Finally it was the cake cutting ceremony. He cut the cake. She lovingly fed him the cake first and waited. Waited for him to do the same, that is lovingly feed her a piece.

She : Ok. Now gimme a piece of cake.

He : Why?

She : Why, what? I gave you, now you give me.

He : I didn't ask you to! Secondly, you pulled the knife from my hand. Now since your hands are already messy, eat them for yourself!

She : !!!!

Friends?!

Everyone has them - with varying degrees of friendship. I have them too. Some are close, some are very close and a few are close to getting close.

Friendship is kind of vague to understand. But it a basic tool required to pull, push and squeeze through life. Sometimes you make friends for life and sometimes you just can't keep them for more than a month. The latter simply fade out; friendship fizzles out; and the chemistry you once shared begins to seem obsolete. And there will be surprising few incidents where you are not in contact for 15 years and still, when you find them through non conventional medium, you'll start from where you left it off. 

I have tasted each one of these in my life too! I have solid friends that I know are gonna stay with me forever. By forever I mean, even if we do lose touch, we will not feel awkward to connect after eons. However, for the moment they are there with me, like they have been since a long time. They know who they are. :) 

And there are other close friends too who have been my pillars in times of extreme necessities. For me, moral and emotional support mean a lot than any other kind of help. They have extended a helping hand and lent an ear. They know when to listen, when to give an advice and when to keep mum. They have provided me with different perspective when everything I saw was in one direction. Especially when I was to get married, there were a lot of great guidelines by friends who have been there done that. No points for guessing how badly I needed these sessions when not many in family would encourage my feelings (nervousness, anxiety, insecurity, curiosity, fear of rejection)

Opposite sex friendships rock too, with a tad bit risk of tipping over to the other side. Not many can carry on with a platonic relation and NOT necessarily think each time you laugh at their jokes and play a prank on them mean you have fallen in love with them. I have struck gold with these too, who have been good listeners, entertainers, jokers, logical thinkers. I married one of them. And my marriage to him hasn't affected the bond and friendship with many others. Of course, there were a few who tried to tip the balance discreetly. And, it was up to me to maintain or throw the person off balance. Some took it graciously, others reacted childishly. I am sure I am not the only girl in this world to have gone through this.

The unexplained ones. Their whooshing presence in life makes me wonder. How they came and how they went never seem to find a logical reason. They hit off with me beautifully, accepted me wholeheartedly, laughed, cried, back slapped, high fived and one fine day abandoned all of it. Coming to think of it, the feeling was mutual. It's like we dumped each other at the same time with no hard feelings... in fact with no feelings at all. One day I come to know that they have just struck me off their friend list. Suddenly, the birthday wishes, excitement over "changed relationship status", phone calls, texting dwindled and I was ok, although I would have loved to have a closure on it. 

I am not the kind of person who dives deep, head first into any relationship. I take my time. If that does happen, I stop to analyse , look through and think on it. Like many others, I find it hard to gulp disappointments. I'd rather brake my speed than get my hands burnt and cry over it. 

Friends are like stickers, some of them are glued to you till death and some of them just fall off due to lack of gum. I guess we have to take them as they are. 

Love that's brewing...

Before


The situation

A boy and a girl were going to meet for the very first time in their life. The girl was anxious, nervous, happy with the fact that she is finally going to see the person she would be marrying in 19 more days! The boy was happy too, shy even, and feeling heady as he was to meet his would-be-bride-in19-days. And, he wasn't sure what was "romantic". Neither by words, nor by actions. So, in addition to being happy and shy, he was confused too. But, both were super excited and looking forward to the meeting event.  She was coming to pick him up from the bus depot. He had been travelling the night before.

During


The event (1) :: The bus depot

She came in a chauffeur-driven, swanky big car. She texted him. "Where are you?"

He replied, "I don't know.. but I guess we are in the city... I see a lot of buildings and shops etc. Where are you btw?"

She could no longer text. She speed dialed him. "Hey, hi! I have reached... how long will it take for you to get here?"

"This conductor says another 15 minutes. So I guess, you'll have to wait."

"Ok. fine. Just let me know where you..."

"Look, I forgot to charge my cell last night... I'll give you a call when I reach... ok?"

"What???! You knew you were travelling and you did not charge your cell? Oh! C'mon! How could you?"

"Seriously the battery is running low... I'll talk to you later?? Please? Bye"

"Alright, bye. But gimme a call, else I'll call you. Bye"

Finally, they did meet. He called her when he reached and they saw each other. Bells did not ring, birds did not sing. Violins did not play and the trees did not sway. It wasn't Bollywood. It was real life. Instead, infernal honks blared, dogs barked and rickshaw-wallahs haggled for a fair fare. Nevertheless, it was special.

"Hmmm.. you are not taller than me. I thought you were." he complimented. himself.

"That's why I didn't wear heels. Mind if we catch a cup of coffee before we go to my place?"

"No, sure... let's go?"

The event (2) :: At the restaurant

She : Let's just order for coffee? Mom's made proper proper breakfast at home...

He : No problem.

She : (silence)

He : (silence)

She : You are staring at me. You are embarrassing me!

He : No. I'm looking at you. You look so different in the snaps.

She : That's what everyone says!

By this time the coffee came and went, and he said "The coffee was YUCK!" She agreed, because it was.

The event (3) :: At the Men's wear shop

The salesman : Try this one, Sir!

He : Fine. Ray ban... do you like it?

She : Yeah.. if you like it then go ahead...

The cashier : That would be Rs. 4000, Sir!

After


(4 months after they got married)

She : You should take care of your glares... They cost a lot. Seriously, what was worth 4000 in it? Tell me. I don't see anything except the label "Ray Ban". They are so costly. Mine cost me only 1500. And look, there are good.

He : Yes, I know they were costly. You did not take me to a cheaper place!

She : Arre?! You said you wanted to buy right there. So I thought you will buy it there.. like there there.. that place itself.

He : I found it costly too. But I had to buy it anyway.

She : Why? We could have bought something elsewhere, no?

He : You were there with me.

She : I was there with you???! Lekin, I did not force you to buy! You bought it because it looked good on you.

He : Whoa! Look, I have this girl coming to pick me up in a biiig, shiny Honda City, with a driver, a jazzy cell phone in her hand, fighting elegantly with rickshaw-wallahs, throwing orders at the driver over the phone... I naturally thought you were a girl brought up in all luxuries, used to servants and brands and labels etc. You'd think I was a cheapskate if I didn't buy it because the price was HUUGE!

She : :O :O :O I had told you everything about me, no? I was not like that. I am not like that. I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have come in that car with a driver and all. But parents did not allow me to drive all the way in that horrendous place - full of dirty men and dogs and each one barking at another!! I knew this was what you'd think about me.  And did you know what I thought about you?

He : No, what?

She : I thought that since you have come from the States, you were running after labels and amounts that ran into thousands, just because comparing it with USD it would mean spending nothing. I also was devising ways to control your spending habit already.

It was time for him to be :O :O :O!!!

He : That's what we thought about each other?

She : I also thought you were rude. No make it crude. You told me the coffee was YUCK!

He : But it was! And you agreed too!

She : Yes, it was. I agreed and I still agree. But you could be a bit more courteous and say it was good, right? A little white lie wouldn't hurt.

He : I didn't know how to behave around a girl. You were my first, serious date.

She : You didn't/ don't know chivalry?

He : No, who's that??

She : Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!

And there, she knew the core reason for falling head over heels in love with him.

----------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------

Any guesses on who's the "He" and the "She", here?

Edited to add : He says the Ray Ban was for Rs. 4370 and not just Rs. 4000. So there, she put down the value of Ray Ban by Rs. 370. Hence, she apologizes. ;)

Lovely gift!

Furious preparations for our wedding is going on... so from now until the very day my calenders are marked. Currently, me and amma have taken up the responsibility of inviting Pune friends and family.

We just started out today... and how could I not go to one of my best friend's house to invite her??? So, yeah, Tejaswini's place was one of the selected few that we have decided to invite personally.Within 10 minutes of we being there, this girl couldn't sew in her excitement to hand over the gift she bought for me...well, rather thought for me. Well, her extra bubbly-ness was understandable since the gift was...

and the other side being....

I dunno in what words I can thank you, Tj! This is precious! :')

Smiles all around me

I'm genuinely happy!! :) :) :) In addition to "my obvious reasons" to be happy, there are certain other stuff, biiiiig stuff rather, that's keeping a smile pasted on my face 24*7.

It actually brings me to new heights of happiness when I hear "getting hitched" news from friends. Especially when the "getting hitched" part has a nice story behind it and friends willingly share it with you.

I was over the moon when a school friend of mine (just 10 mins back) broke the news to me while I was narrating "my story" to her. What do you do when gaiety multiplies? Smile so hard that your facial muscles stretch, strain and pain, but still you don't want to let go of that smile. This is just one of such blasting news that triggered this post.

It feels like a season of "being congratulated" and "congratulating others". A friend found a job, another found a life partner, yet another is in the process of dumping her current boyfriend and finding a new one, one more friend is in line for some good career surprises... all in all, a good time to celebrate.

I didn't know that good news too, spreads like fire. :) I was amazed to hear my childhood friend's voice from Dehradun calling to wish me and drop in a tip or two about married life; plus an invitation to stay over at their place. It is baffling, even for me, to acknowledge such depth of friendship - no matter how long we have not talked to each other, no matter how many times we break the promises of catching up when she's here... we always manage to start from where we have left...

And for some people who I thought never cared a damn if I existed or not, are holding me close and saying "it'll not be the same without you."

I guess, this occasion in my life will tighten my bonds with people around me.

A reason to smile is always welcome and what more could it be when friends and family find you worthy of sharing it?

Shraddha's going! :'(

All this while I have been disregarding the fact that one of my childhood best friends, Shraddha, is now married and will go elsewhere to be with her better half... start a new life. Today while online, she breaks the news to me. Visa approved, I'm leaving next weekend, the chat read. Instantly I felt a pang in me. It is very difficult to say what I felt.

Tejaswini, Shraddha and Purnima. We have always been THE three gals always seen together. I don't even know how long we have been friends. It was way back in the 90s. All three of us in hideous frilly frocks, mis matching hairbands and sandals, but friendship so solid that our parents had to pull us apart whenever we met at some GSB functions. Then, we'd never had enough of playing hide n seek with each other. Now, we still haven't had enough of each others' company.

We ONLY met during GSB functions when we were kids. We weren't in the same school. nor did we live in same area that we could visit each other often. Even after SSC we went in for different streams. Tejaswini- Science, Shraddha - arts and me - commerce. Three different colleges. Three different dreams. But still there was our friendship that remained. Cell phones changed our lives. Orkut and G chats embellished it further. now we were just a click away from each other and our mothers had to pull us away from our respective PCs. Such were our chat histories. We talked about inane stuff, bitched about "supposed-to-be-stud" guys on Orkut, swapped news about everything n nothing, crashed in on others' scrapbooks, spied on snaps and found out true stories, declared ourselves better that FBI...

There came a point in life when parents got serious about marriage stuff. We three were told that we were supposedly of "marriageable age". We revolted. We screamed, shouted and supported each others' opinion that we ARE still kids and we WON'T get married.

Slowly, we had to accept the fact that parents won't let us off the hook. Indeed it is time to take a new look at life. We started teasing each other... you first... NO you first.. I'm younger than you... Tu badi hai re...teri pehle honi chahiye... shaadi main bula kya...we'll come for free khaana...

Finally there came a day when Shrads announced that she'll soon be committed and married within 20 days flat. and that she will be flying to Germany. It didn't register. ... I attended her marriage... it still didn't register. I met her after marriage and teased her to the point that she was embarrassed.. it still didn't register.

However, today she says, she's going away... It hits hard. I had a lump in my throat that wouldn't go away. I couldn't even talk to Tejaswini about it, because she was stating the obvious. All of us are having the same feeling. It feels like someones burnt a hole in my heart.

Today tis Shrads, tomorrow tis gonna be TJ... after that it'll be Pallavi... one fine day, it'll be me. Life's just not fair! I have complained soo many times and it still stares back at me. Mom tried convincing me, consoling me, scolding me. But the sinking feeling doesn't go away. I wish I could hold back my time.... capture it and keep it safe for no one to take it away from me.

Shrads, we know you are gonna have a wonderful life with Hrishikesh. He'll take good care of you... Wherever you are, remember that there are 2 MAD girls in LOVE with you, who'll miss you. Tis never gonna be same for me n TJ.

I hate posting this.

Should I really name this?

Have you held sand in your hand? The harder you try to clutch it, the faster it seeps away... moreover, how would you feel if it enters your eyes? All the pleasure of watching it slip off is instantly replaced by the pricking feeling in the eyes.

Similar situations when you face in life, you are left utterly confused - you don't know if you like it...and you are not sure you hate it. So many things happen, with me, with others - friends, family, neighbours - that change the course of life. In these past 10-15 days, I have had to face so many different days - each with its own color. There has been a blast of good news es from my friends/ family, when I was facing my own difficulties. Being a part of their happiness was one thing... but I just couldn't ignore my need to sulk and to vent out. Secondly, I wasn't (and am still not) convinced that things have turned the right way for them. As soon as they broke out their news to me, I felt like screaming "No, don't do it"... but I quickly realised that they have already gone and done that... I had/ have no right to butt in and question their decision.

I guess that's the way it is and it should be. Nevertheless, I feel stupid, guilty and selfish for not rejoicing their decisions whole-heartedly. And I guess, that's the way I am, finally.

I think I'm done rambling. I'll start with a new post, right away.

Friendship is...

...when a friend will let her cell ring and not pick it up because she knows her dialer tone is your current favorite song.

... when 2 minute phone call stretches upto 20 mins because neither has the time to "meet".

... looking at each other, knowing what the other is thinking and laughing endlessly.

... pin pointing feelings through Gtalk n Ym.

... saying it's ok to feel bad once in a while.

... over-boiled maggie, undercooked veggies and futile talks over "suicide"

... when 2 people are in a mess and the third one sorts it out. just like that. and forces you to see the "bigger picture"

... fibbing about the movie timing because you don't want to miss the trailers.

... forcing friends to follow, read and comment on your blog.

... writing notes for each other on a hotel tissue paper and laminating it.

... feeling good and bad at the same time when a friend has a good news.

... receiving mail from a friend saying you were in her dreams yesterday.

... getting your leg pulled and laughing over it for years.

... trusting each other without batting an eyelid.

... feeling guilty for having felt betrayed, which obviously wasn't the case.

... not sleeping at sleepovers, spiced up with warnings from mother dearest.

... reminding for the n th time that the blog needs to be updated.

... forwarding pathetic Pjs over SMS even if it costs a fortune.

... fighting endlessly wherever and whenever you meet and still expect them to gift you for your wedding.

... chatting through Gtalk even when she sits in a cubicle next to you.

... writing one liner morbid testimonials on Orkut.

... flouting rules and turning innocent when caught.

... bitching about a person that you have never met... and will never meet.

... trying to keep up the conversation with "what else?" and "aur??" and knowing exactly what they mean.

... crank calling and SMS -ing and telling the tale to anyone who'll listen.

... grimacing when friends sing songs of glory about their addiction... lecturing... pestering... complaining... but still hanging out with them.

... fraandsheip! what else?!

To all my friends, a lot we have shared together and a lot is yet to be shared. Thanks for bearing me with all my eccentricities, mood swings, laughter and fights. I treasure every moment of our friendship.

My Celebrations

Happy 2009, peeps!!!! Hope you have a great one with lotsa love, peace and may all your wishes come true!!!

Exactly 366 days ago, 3 mad girls decided to make the first day of each year special. (till atleast 2 out of 3 get married and move to inaccessible corners of the world). Hence the 3MGs, true to their word, did meet, caught up, teased, shut-ed-up, laughed at each other and redefined their friendship. Yes tis me and my 2 best friends, Pall and Sne; who have been the partners in crime with me during college and are the only ones who'll laugh at my rants and complaints. I'm so glad to have our friendship rejuvenating at the beginning of the year!! Love you loads, girls... though I know that you can't even spell b-l-o-g correctly!! :D
=========================================================
Here we go with a small snippet when I and Pall wanted to ask Sne if she was free for RNBDJ :

An sms from me to Sne : Hey! what shift hav you tom?

Sne : Y re? wt hpnd?

Me : Me n pall getting married tom morn. She @ her plc, me at mine. Plz come. Gifts accepted.

Sne :oh WOW! Congratssss! Who r da lucky guys?? hav eve shift, so u ppl btr mak it fast. I hav to go!

hehehe smart girl!

And... that isn't all. If all goes according to our million dollar plan, I'll be meeting them again on Saturday and watch "Rock on"..i.e. if all goes acording to our million dollar plan.
========================================================

And again that's not all. I meet my 2 more best childhood friends, Tj and Shrads on Sunday for lunch!! Yay! That means they won't whack me and I can finally return Tj's book that been with me since ages. I'm soo very looking forward to meet you girls, that I almost fell off my terrace yesterday!
==================================================

Here's something more :

Tj : so we meet this sunday?! Final??

Me : haan baba..pukka!

Tj : see this time you cancel plans, main tujhe phone par se haath daalke maroongi.

Me : HA HA HA HAHAA.. waisa hai toh, I have already cancelled plans. Please do the needful!
====================================================

And that yet isn't all... Ji's coming this Feb. And we are gonna celebrate birthdays together!! I'm super excited since we'll be seeing each other after 3 years!!

Here's something that I shared with Ji and couldn't stop laughing : (psst... this copy+paste is w/o her permission, so if she's anywhere near planning to turn me black n blue in Feb; I'm keeping my passport handy :D)

Orkut scrap from me to Ji : Hey Happy new year, Ji!

Reply fm Ji to me : to you tooo!! oh btw since ur birthday is also in the beginning of the year.. i wanted to ask you does it giv u jitters to knw that you will be yet another year older?

Soo, it isn't just me who feels 24 yrs is like OLD!! that means.. I M NORMAL!!!
==========================================================

And the last but not the least "and that's isn't all" is that I'm gonna meet my batchmate, Pra, after 8 long years!! Date not yet fixed, but I'm gonna make it happen in Jan.

==========================================================

That means I have 2 month long dhaasu celebrations planned for this New Year! Do I still need to mention I love all of them?