Candid, not Candied

Tuesday, 12 April 2011


Everyone has them - with varying degrees of friendship. I have them too. Some are close, some are very close and a few are close to getting close.

Friendship is kind of vague to understand. But it a basic tool required to pull, push and squeeze through life. Sometimes you make friends for life and sometimes you just can't keep them for more than a month. The latter simply fade out; friendship fizzles out; and the chemistry you once shared begins to seem obsolete. And there will be surprising few incidents where you are not in contact for 15 years and still, when you find them through non conventional medium, you'll start from where you left it off. 

I have tasted each one of these in my life too! I have solid friends that I know are gonna stay with me forever. By forever I mean, even if we do lose touch, we will not feel awkward to connect after eons. However, for the moment they are there with me, like they have been since a long time. They know who they are. :) 

And there are other close friends too who have been my pillars in times of extreme necessities. For me, moral and emotional support mean a lot than any other kind of help. They have extended a helping hand and lent an ear. They know when to listen, when to give an advice and when to keep mum. They have provided me with different perspective when everything I saw was in one direction. Especially when I was to get married, there were a lot of great guidelines by friends who have been there done that. No points for guessing how badly I needed these sessions when not many in family would encourage my feelings (nervousness, anxiety, insecurity, curiosity, fear of rejection)

Opposite sex friendships rock too, with a tad bit risk of tipping over to the other side. Not many can carry on with a platonic relation and NOT necessarily think each time you laugh at their jokes and play a prank on them mean you have fallen in love with them. I have struck gold with these too, who have been good listeners, entertainers, jokers, logical thinkers. I married one of them. And my marriage to him hasn't affected the bond and friendship with many others. Of course, there were a few who tried to tip the balance discreetly. And, it was up to me to maintain or throw the person off balance. Some took it graciously, others reacted childishly. I am sure I am not the only girl in this world to have gone through this.

The unexplained ones. Their whooshing presence in life makes me wonder. How they came and how they went never seem to find a logical reason. They hit off with me beautifully, accepted me wholeheartedly, laughed, cried, back slapped, high fived and one fine day abandoned all of it. Coming to think of it, the feeling was mutual. It's like we dumped each other at the same time with no hard feelings... in fact with no feelings at all. One day I come to know that they have just struck me off their friend list. Suddenly, the birthday wishes, excitement over "changed relationship status", phone calls, texting dwindled and I was ok, although I would have loved to have a closure on it. 

I am not the kind of person who dives deep, head first into any relationship. I take my time. If that does happen, I stop to analyse , look through and think on it. Like many others, I find it hard to gulp disappointments. I'd rather brake my speed than get my hands burnt and cry over it. 

Friends are like stickers, some of them are glued to you till death and some of them just fall off due to lack of gum. I guess we have to take them as they are. 


  1. Hmm.. fairly deep I say!!!

  2. Yeah, you are right. Friendships are what makes life interesting. I also strongly beleive in the saying "show me your friend and I will tell you something about you". As they say, you cannot choose your relatives but thank god we can choose our friends!

  3. all our jokes aside, here's my take on this... Friends, more often than not happen to be a reflection of ourselves or a dominant part of our personality, at the particular point of time, when they happen to enter our lives. While with most, this similarity or bond thus formed fades away when the situations change, there are the other few with whom the transition into diff phases of life seems only natural. But both sorts help us grow, learn and live equally! Some help us grow and some grow with us... One should be happy of having had the fortune of meeting them!

    Sorry for the emo tone! :P been long since i wrote... Kindly Adjust!

  4. @ N, Shrads & Varsha,

    @ Meera,
    :) we are blessed to have them!

    @ Rach, just for ur thoughtful comment, I think I'll include u in my next post! :)


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