Candid, not Candied

Sunday, 28 June 2009

When I was a kid...

  1. mom told me that when a milk tooth fell, the only thing that would make it grow back would be more milk. So whenever I drank milk, I made sure I kept it in my mouth for a longer time than necessary because I thought it would solidify itself and I'll have a new tooth instantly. All this to save myself the embarrassment of being asked if rat ate my tooth!

  2. ...I thought that the sun dips itself into the sea and renews itself as the moon for the night and v.v. My theory was abandoned as my maternal grandpa told me about the world being round and its rotations and revolutions.

  3. ...I got drenched in the rain, ran a high fever+cold+indigestion and I threw up. I promptly asked my mom "MOM, am I pregnant?" Thanks to bollywood movies, I thought getting wet in rains and consequently, puking meant that the female's pregnant. Laugh all you parents did!

  4. ...I believed ghosts keep a watch on you everytime. If you were good, they were happy...if you misbehaved, they troubled you at night. So whenever I was naughty, I used to have a twitching feel while going in an unlit room.

  5. I wanted to marry Mithun. Mithun Chakraborty, for clarifications. When my mom told me that he'd be an old grandpa by the time I'd be of marriageable age, I said that I didn't mind at all. I guess, afterall, I initiated the trend of marrying older than necessary men. And, FYI, I don't now.

Monday, 22 June 2009

The wait

She subconsciously peered at the mirror that hung all over the plush, suave, white-dominated office. The A/C rhythmically hummed in the background. She tugged at her chignon deciding that it gave her too much of a corporate woman look. Her shiny copper coloured mane swiftly tumbled down her back. She once again consulted the mirror- her crisp off-white shirt and her knee-length maroon coloured skirt; complimented her skin as well as her hair colour.She was finally content.

She clutched at her leather portfolio while her lustrous eyes sought the digital clock silently gulping each minute. She'd been waiting for over two hours now. Biting nails is a dead give-away that you are nervous - she scolded herself grimly. She closed her eyes and lived her dream once again... of being on the top of the world... of reaching dizzying heights... of fame, fortune and goodwill.

'Miss, you are next' came a pleasant music-like instruction. After all it marked the end of her unending wait.

Once in, within 15 minutes, she was convinced that her step had faltered somewhere... that she wasn't going to make it where she wanted to reach... that her dream was but another dream... when the voice in front of her boomed "But, of course... each one makes many compromises during their course of life- whether they like it or not"

And she knew - her wait had just begun!

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Bad Girls? Good Girls?

Almost after 7 decades does Archie choose his life partner - Veronica - only to be debated worldwide if his choice has brought more disappointment to Betty or was our freckle-face right in his own terms to blatantly ignore her efforts to make herself "noticed". Whatever the case, it's for sure he's strutting down the aisle with Ms. Lodge. What caught my attention today was a glossy newspaper article that was glorifying Veronicas around the world and more so, the men who kiss their sexily pedicured feet. Seemingly, "bad girls" are the flavour of the season and the "good girls" are as good as obsolete.

I was wondering how true is this paradigm shift? In India? Where the Times Matrimonial has the same standards set for brides "Tall, fair, beautiful, homely". Where the first three qualities are attainable using the money power, I remain skeptical for the 'homely' part. Aren't these THTHHMFs (Too Hot To Handle High Maintenance Females) supposed to be preoccupied about their Maybellines and Chanels and Jimmy Choos and Diors?

My this post wrt those proper bratty, spoilt, rich Veronicas, who wouldn't bat their eyelids if it spells work and average Indian working males, a little better than Prince Andrews.

With egos bigger than their bank balance, these self-indulgent PYTs need men to accessorize them, or so are we made to believe. Ronnie does that, doesn't she? Are men ready to be walked all over by ladies in stilts? Would any self-respecting guy do an Archie, always? - Be at Her Highness' beck and call? I think not. Moreover, "she has him wrapped around her pinky" or even "he dances to her tunes" though humorous are looked upon as derogatory statements.

Surrendering to the charm and sophistication of THTHHMFs would be a short term thing. But keeping the modern day Cleopatra up on the pedestal for the whole lifetime and worshipping her? Sheer utopia! Their "catch me if you can" appeal is lost as soon as caught. But who catches them? Fluttering butterflies are to be admired from a distance. Fantasy items, yes... but your partner for life? a mother to your kids? a support system for the lifetime lows? That's what a guy would look for in his better half and v.v.

No one likes "a hen-pecked husband", not even THTHHMFs... at least they don't want them labelled as one; regardless of the verity. THTHHMFs have their equivalent THTHHMMs (Too Hot To Handle High Maintenance Males) to look after their constant upgradation. Money talks, money rocks!

As per the article "Today, men are opting for bad gals too. They want a dominating partner who lives by her own rules" - guys, lemme know, how true is this?

Friday, 12 June 2009

Curiosity - hasn't killed us - yet!

N! What much to say about her. Half of Singapore thinks we are blood-related sisters, where infact we are sistaars-in-loh. And then they have the whole relation between me, V n N jumbled up. They think V's my husband, N's my sister....V my brother-in-law, N my mother(!!!!) and wot-not.... anyways, thats not what I'm gonna talk about here.

Its me n N, who have worked hard enough for people to get our relations wrongly wired. We bitch, gossip, laugh at the most inappropriate times, chatter, keep a look out for sales, exchange Tees, look for confirmation at each other that we are NOT fat... and many more things. And the biggest thing between us is we cannot keep our mouths shut from each other. What happens here has to reach there and v.v. So here's what happens in most cases. Psssst, did I mention she craves for madness as much as I do?

'u callin me piggie? :' started N

'when i called u piigie? :O'

'see last sentence hahahahahaa aaaaaaaaaaahaha'

'arre i closed thwe window... copy paste'

'oh...u said hoo'

'HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAA that is "sure" in rustic way'

' "tell them to check... suar"
yeah...ahahaha .... ask me tmrw menu re

'what tom'

'che che'

'i'm gng to blog this'


'yes yes edited version'

'no no'


'i am signin off then'

'whatever we talked u'll see'

' ok allright' *Thus me gets the unwanted permission*

'tell S, his marriage Jevan was excellent...yesterday his amma had called'

'okies...what said'

'nothing they came bk to old house since new house furniture happening....but will be shiftin there n renting old house'

'gud gud...i gotta tell u yahan ki kahani....but will wait till nxt weekend'

'abt who what ..tell tell...gimme a hint'

'my pota puggid* with it already' *For non-Konks, it means I'm dying to tell this/ I'm dying to know.*

'S and wife'

':O Already??? tell tell no plis plis'

'yeah... talked 5 hrs with her on fone in 2 days'


' me and J'

':O what u talked soooo much?'

'u know She is june 82.... only 1.5yrs elder...'

' :O big big'



'by mistake'

'sheessh.....i was expecting....scandalous newses'

'S is dumber by the day ...i almost feel like wriniging his neck tmrw'

'Don't don't'

'dont blog this ok'

'he's just married think abt J
hehe i will
names will be hidden'

'uska sochke i feel like wringing'

' u see how i edit stuff'

'got loads to tell man...'

'you have Nm and Sb email id...i gotta share it via email'

' yup...what what
what what'

'pics of j n b'

'what what j n b?'

'jandoo n bagga'

'oh my...'

No, it didn't just end there. There was more, lots more infact. We are a pair of curious cats. :)

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Frendz m'am?

All of you know Orkut, right? All of you also know *specially gurls* what kind of friendship requests we get? Taking a peak into some of the award-winning requests I got and the replies I'd have loved to give if I'd permitted myself to a little nastiness. Promise, I ain't making them up. I save them into my Gmail draft section. *I've hell lot of time to kill*

And so....

The II Runner-up:

he ihwana be friend?hhm wat u say?hmmm
A. hmmmmm...hmmmmmm ......hhhhhmmmmmmm....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

The I Runner-up:

Hi, I am SB from Mumbai - Peddar Road, as of now you don’t know me, I have send a Friends request to you long back, but dint hear from you, so thought let me give a small Intro about my self….So I am S - Born and brought up in Mumbai, after traveling across the entire world on various International Assignments, right now based in Pune, as Regional Head of an MNC for West India, just moved to Pune some 2 Months back..So that about me mam. So that’s a small description of me, now can we be friends mam !!!

A. uhhh... is this your introduction for a matrimonial site? If it is, I'll say, no girl in her senses will not NOT laugh at such puke-able English of yours. Get yourself a tutor first and call her Ma'am!

The Winner: *Request*


A. I ain't deaf... so please DO NOT SHOUT! You are 36(!!!!!!!) yrs, OLD AND MARRIED! How should that interest me? There's one thing though, that catches my fancy : You are plural?? and rightly said, you do a lot of much-much. Excooz me!

The Winner : *Reply*

hiiiiii, this iss Rahul.....naam toh suna hoga. add me plaese!

(All the shreya goes to Rayshma for the following brilliant come back)

A. yeah.. there are millions of you!

Despos, really! How they make us giddy with giggles! :P


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