Candid, not Candied

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Uncle 1 meets Uncle 2

It is Sunday today and, both Uncle 1 and Uncle 2, are at the Sunday Bazaar to "do" some household shopping. Uncle 2 has two big bags full of vegetables and is trying to fit all that on his 15 yr old loyal Bajaj scooter. This is when Uncle 1, holding newspaper and milk in one hand and eggs and bread in another, meets Uncle 2.

Uncle 1 (U1) : Arre, arre... Good Morning, good morning ji! How are you?

Uncle 2 (U2) : *surprised and smiling wide* Hello, good morning! I am in good health. You tell, how are you? Where have you been? Didn't see you for a long long time!

U1 : No, no. I am here only. Where will I go? You are a big man. I hardly see you. Busy a what? Sunday shoppingaa? *gesturing at U2's big bags*

U2 : Haaaaan, now what to tell? Children are sleeping and wife said if I did not bring vegetables, there will be no food! What can a poor man like me do? You also come for shopping?

U1 : Ha ha ha haha.... Yes. Yes ji. It is the same. Come come, my house is here... we'll have nice hot tea with bisckits.

U2 : Nahi, aaj nahi. I have no time to stand. I have to go.

U1 : It is the same. No one has time now. Life is so busy. What are your kids doing?

U2 : Badi is in First yr engineering and Choti is in 12th. Both very busy with classes! Your son is also in engineering no? Computer? Which college?

U1: Haan. His 4th semester is going. He also so busy, I tell you. Does not have time to raise his head from books!!! Very good college but. Nice teachers. Even if I gave a huge donation, it is not a waste.

U2 : Very good. Very good! It is nice to know children learning. Nahi toh, children nowadays! *slaps forehead*

U1 : What to say! So many rave parties, drugs, daaroo. It was soo different in our times, no. We did what our babuji told us. Always respecting parents.

U2 : Really! But our children are gems, I am telling you. They will shine our names.

U1 : Yes, yes. I am sure. *does namaskar and touches forehead* Your two daughters will shine your name in their sasuraal. They are pretty and talented also, no? I wanted to ask you? Are you seeing a boy for your badi? There is a nice boy, I know. Looks like Salman Khan. Very rich also.

U2 : *makes a face* Now what to tell you bhaii saab?! My wife tried to talk to her about her marriage. She gets angry. Badi wants to complete studies and she wants to do MBA also. And that also in foreign. Now tell me, how will I afford all this? I am middle class. And I have two daughters. How to manage? Tell me.

U1 : God will help you, see. Good things happen with good people only. You should not worry. Have you seen the latest??? Anna Hazare and Jan Lokpal Bill? My son wants to go to Delhi to fast! Who will study now, tell me?

U2 : That one?!! I was seeing. On paper, on tv. Everywhere there is Anna. What a man! What a man! Really, I think. He will do big aandolan.

U2 : He will. I am also sure. Who else can save our country? All politicians are chors, saale. They want money and money. Govaarment is useless.

U1 : No bhaii saab. People also voting same same people. What to do now? Very sad it is. See, how this road is also not repaired for so many days.

U2 : Arre haan. When you said road, I remembered. What happened to the fight between you and your neighbour? Did you build that private road or not between your houses?

U1 : *shakes head violently* nahiii... Where now I will run after small small fights? Tell me. He knows big people. He has contacts. I did not do anything. I heard he is leaving house in a year. I will build road when he goes away.

U2 : Yes, you should do that. Tell me if you need any help. I have a civil contractor friend. I can tell him to see. He is very close. He is my wife's jijaji's nephew. He will do your work for less.

U1 : Haan, will tell you surely. How is bhabhiji? My wife was complaining... nowadays, you both don't come only! Come sometimes for evening chaii and bhajiya.

U2 : Yes yes. That day they went for sale shopping together and all they did was complain about us! My wife was telling.

U1 : Accha? When did they go shopping? *irritated* Arree, everyone knows! I only don't know!

U2 : That new shopping mall is there, no? What is its name...... ummm... something Paradise. There they went. Bhabhiji must have forgotten to tell you.

U1 : Arrree reee, I remember. Remember now. Court Paradise no? She told me, I forgot.

U2 : My girls go there often. Never buy anything, but they go with friends.

Uncle 1's cell phone starts ringing.

U1 : Hello. I am here only... where means? market, where else? I am coming baba.... coming coming. I met bhaiisaab. What? What? Cannot hear... hello... what??? Ok ok. will tell. will tell. Haan haan coming.


U1 :See your bhabhi called. She is calling you home. She is not listening to any excuse. you have to come for chaii.

U2 : Bhaiisaab, it is getting late for me. Next time will pakka come with wife.

U1 : No, no, no, no.... no listening to you this time. Come, it hardly takes 5 minutes from here. Chaii will be ready when we reach home. She is making also for you.

U2 : That way then you should promise to come to our house in the evening with bhabhiji and your beta. Only then I will come now.

U1 : Haan haan pehle you come.

Saying this, U1 rides pillion with U2. A lot more is exchanged between the two during the five minute ride to U1's house.


  1. lol...very nicely captured...a very realistic and typical conversation..
    keep going!

  2. Now waiting for the Aunty 1 meets Aunty 2.... That, I'm sure will be much more interesting :D

  3. Uma: Thanks! :)

    Nitin: Haan haan, why not? Kab likh rahe ho bhai?

  4. hehe... good one... realistic indeed


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