Just another tag

Blog hopped and flicked a tag from this blog.


Rule: Strike out all that you have done from the following list.

1. Graduated high school... 

2. Kissed someone Code … I refused to strike it off unless i understand what it means. 

3. Smoked a cigarette... 

4. Got so drunk you passed out...

5. Rode every ride at an amusement park... 

6. Collected something stupid...  

7. Gone to a rock concert...

8. Helped someone… 

9. Gone fishing…

10. Watched four movies in one night…. 

11. Lied to someone…

12. Snorted cocaine...

13. Smoked weed...

14. Failed a subject - Believe it or not, I flunked French with the rest of the class. :D

15. Been in a car accident...

16. Been in a tornado...

17. Watched someone die…. ants, roaches and mosquitoes that i swat

18. Been to a funeral...

19. Burned yourself… small istri chatkas

20. Run a marathon…

21. Cried yourself to sleep… ahem ahem

22. Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day… 

23. Flown on an aeroplane...

24. Cheated on someone...

25. Been cheated on… i didn't get this?

26. Written a 10 page letter… 

27. Gone skiing.. 

28. Been sailing… 

29. Cut yourself... 

30. Had a best friend... naah, Have best friends. still...

31. Lost someone you loved… 

32. Got into trouble for something you didn’t do

33. Stolen a book from the library….

34. Gone to a different country...

35. Watched the Harry Potter movies... - not all

36. Had an online diary… 

37. Fired a gun...

38. Gambled in a casino

39. Been in a school play... school dance "There was a little princess..."

40. Been fired from a job ... nobody, absolutely nobody can fire me!

41. Taken a lie detector test...

42. Swam with dolphins...

43. Voted for someone on a reality TV show - Abhijit Sawant and Amit Sana got one vote each from me.

44. Written poetry… ya, pathetic ones in school

45. Read more than 20 books a year… 

46. Gone to Europe... will strike this out soon enough

47. Loved someone you shouldn’t have - my puppy love, Mithun da!

48. Used a coloring book over age 12 

49. Had a surgery...

50. Had stitches...

51. Taken a Taxi...

52. Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once… he he he, those were some days!

53. Been in a fist fight...

54. Suffered any form of abuse...

55. Had a pet… my pet parrot... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

56. Petted a wild animal... - is snake a wild animal? reptile animal, maybe?

57. Had your own credit card, bought something with it... - :'(

58. Dyed your hair… colored it brown, mom disapproved :'(

59. Got a tattoo...

60. Had something pierced... - I was 12 days old brave baby when i had my ears pierced!

61. Got straight As... naah, i always went down with a 'B' in drawing! hmmmph!

62. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS...

63. Taken pictures with a webcam...

64. Lost something expensive … can I be corny and say my heart?? :P

65. Gone to sleep with music on... - naah, need peace when i sleep. no muzic.

Beauty Parlour Blahs

Any woman that denies having stepped into the oh-so-womanly beauty parlour, at least once in their lifetime, is certainly lying. And here, i talk about the current generation, not that of our moms and grand-moms and great great grand-moms and the likes. It is but natural that women have started venturing out, are more active and are no longer restricted to the confines and comforts of their homes. In short, all such women-lib crap. (Clarification: Women's-lib is not crap - why i mentioned it here maybe...) On second thought, womens-lib is crap.

Let's admit that parlours do enhance the way you look. Maybe they can't change your structure forever(excuse the cosmetic surgeons and the various brow lifts and face lifts and rhinoplasties and chin tucks and ear staples- I'm talking about the normal, average, those ones found in every society wala, beauty parlour); but they can certainly make you look much presentable than you might usually do.

I too have beauty parlour sessions from time to time, and there's no denying to that. The first time I set my foot into one was when I was in college... don't remember when. But i do remember that mom had pushed me to get my eyebrows shaped. I had this bushy, fat eyebrows that needed trimming - as mom put it. I never stopped to think about my eyebrows. I was bewildered at the thought of getting my eyebrows plucked. I begged my mom to come along... but she wouldn't have it. "The way you act anyone would think you are going in for some bypass surgery". Of course, to me it was no less than one. Did I mention that my aunt who shared her experience with eyebrow threading had told me that it pained so awfully and she couldn't stop sneezing and the whole session took about an hour to get her eyebrows in shape? There you go... scary, innit?   

Yes, I have come a long way from there. Though I no longer hyperventilate at the idea of threading, I still have    my apprehensions.

To say I have delicate, sensitive skin would be a boorish understatement. My skin jumps at least provocation. And so, I launch myself into giving a short tape recorded speech to beauty parlour aunties (BPAs) when they rant 1001 solutions to soft and supple skin, that usually includes various face massages, bleaching, herbal creams, ayurvedic mud packs, costly Parisian lotions etc. And may I please add, at their esteeeeemed parlour - the one stop solution to all my skin care miseries. Most of the time, I successfully wish-wash their skin care hocus-pocus by mumbling *sensitive skin, doesn't take all this so well*. 

However, let me tell you, these aunties are doctors by their own standards. One look at your skin and they tell you how cruelly you treat your skin. How insensitively you put it through, dhool-mitti-pradushan day by day, week by week, month by month, year after year... Each time I go for a session, say even for a 45 minute hair trimming one, I have to face the insults thrown at me. My hair is always dry, I don't use conditioner, I don't got for hot oil massages, I don't trim it as often as I should, which shampoo I use, why I use that one, why not the one she suggested, when will I learn, how difficult it'll be after marriage, more so after kids, i should learn to take care of myself, 5 minutes everyday I can't spare for my own good - These are the accusations hurled at me that I hence unabashedly concur. 

I try. I do try. Really. Really hard. That is, to fall in line, to take a step towards the betterment of my neglected beauty regime. But that's not the only thing I do, is it? Get this, conditioner + wrapping my head in hot towel should tentatively take not more than 7-9 minutes. But by the time I somehow clumsily get the knack of wrapping the towel, it has already turned cold. I'm back to heating the towel. 

Not to mention how many times I call out to my distressed mom to give me a hand at it. I give up. Of course, I haven't yet admitted this to my BPA yet. Else I'd be in another you-don't-listen-to-me charade. I wonder if "How to humiliate your customer" is a part of their training. 

And then, there are those whose expertise lie in painting your face in bright colours during occasions like weddings and receptions. The only time that I handed over my face to BPAs is during V's wedding and mine. And that includes the reception too. While the wedding make-ups were commendable, the reception ones turned out to be a nightmare. Believe me, me being fair skinned, they slather every possible cream and foundations to make me look fairer. Then they team it up with the darkest and brightest shaded lipstick that they can lay their hands on. The result? I look a classic example of Noorie. That's what my cousin calls me each time he looks at my snap. All my lamentations fall on deaf ears while parallely giving me the know-it-all-looks i-know-what-looks-best-on-your-skin-tone look.

What annoys me is, no amount of convincing works on them. I guess like you can't argue with your doctor or your lawyer, you can't argue with the BPA's either. So I have devised a way out. The day I need to visit my BPA, I apply moisturizer - of any kind that's available at home but make sure to name the correct brand that she has suggested, bathe in conditioner - again, of any kind that's available at home but make sure to name the correct brand that she has suggested, smile a lot to erase any guilt off my face and say, "hey look I use this product you suggested and it works like magic for me" smile, smile, smile, smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile. Dare her to argue, she won't. This is how I defeat my BPA in her own battlefield. Oh, how vindicated I feel! :D

P.S. I hope my BPA doesn't land here... or i'm done for!

P.P.S I hope none of you are BPAs... I'm still done for!!!

A Mistake

Her hands were shaking as she stared at the red - coloured strip in her hand. She was unable to comprehend what had gone wrong.

All of 15, she was a brilliant girl, who'd make her parents proud one day. She was synonymous with intelligence, perfection and excellence. No mathematical problem was ever too difficult for her; science was a piece of cake. She showed keen interest in social sciences too.Even though English bored her, she never let that show up on her score card. She had every signs of making it big; given her hunger to keep learning more. 

Everyone knew she was brainy. She knew she was brainy. She knew she was the right mix of common sense and intelligence. That actually made up for the lack of physical beauty. She thought she was O.K. looking - not too good, neither too bad. No one ever noticed her skinny figure, or her unshaped eyebrows or even an occasional pimple on the nose. This girl exuded great confidence. Confidence to excel, confidence never to go wrong. 

Then what went wrong today, she wondered. None of it was going as planned. How could the strip have changed its colour? She couldn't help but panic as she turned her attention once again to the damned thing in her hand. She had a burning sensation in her throat. She thought about what she had done. She had made sure nothing would go wrong. In fact she was careful... very careful knowing well in advance of the repercussions if anything failed. 

Rewinding her mind, she wondered if she could do anything to make amends. Truth was, she did not have any time to undo the error. She stood trembling and sweating while realisation hit her that there was nothing she could do now. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed him nearby. What would he say to her when he comes to know about this? Worse, how would she face her parents? This was certainly not expected of a girl who was so "her". Her confidence level that usually rid the sky, came crumbling down with these thoughts. 

He was within a hand's distance now and would soon be face to face with her. She almost swooned with fear and anxiety as he moved towards her with a smile. 

"What's wrong?... You look as white as a ghost... or did you see one?" he attempted weak humour at that tensed moment. Her predicament became evident to him when he saw what she was holding between her shaky fingers. 

He crinkled his nose and made some clucking noise, stamping disapproval. Disappointment was writ large on his face... or so she thought. 

"You never once made mistakes in your science experiments!!! Then how come during this crucial exam time your blue litmus paper has turned red?"