Candid, not Candied

Tuesday, 5 May 2009


I've had a long day today. My eyes are dangerously threatening shut, yet I want to write about this. Because today I'm really relieved.

Without getting into the intimate details - During the recent Mumbai trip my dad had some uneasiness to deal with and so our family doctor suggested we get all the scary sounding tests done. He said it was gastric trouble but also hinted that it could be a cardiac problem. And my dad being my dad procrastinated under the excuse of "too much work". Anyways, past week we got the ECG, blood test, cholesterol done and today was the day to get the Stress test done which would determine whether the doctor's predictions were true.

Came to know that "THE REPORTS ARE ALL NORMAL"

Almost for a fortnight I've been living in this nightmare that something was wrong with my dad. Heart disease...that's like real scary. I've seen it happen to others...but my dad?! I couldn't believe it and neither did I want to accept it. Sure, I did not make a show and made a brave attempt to hide my fears. But nights haunted me and I partly did not want my dad to get the tests done for the fear that they may confirm what the doc had just warned us about.

I just realised throughout this whole course, that I still need my parents. I can fight with them, disagree to a great extent, complain that they don't understand what I want to say, feel they are a tad too strict, but I still need them... I don't ever want to take care of them, because I want them to take care of me forever! I don't want to be a grown-up who looks after her parents... I want to be the kid that still craves for parental attention and care even when I was 5, or 15 and even when I'll be 50.

They have been pillars of support for me. They haven't necessarily petted me every time I was low. They've scolded me for being docile,coming home late, being intolerant, or just being careless. Even with all that I have seen them stay staunchly by my side, give me the courage to do what I thought I was incapable of doing. They've been my concrete and my cushion. So, I cannot see them crumbling - health wise, emotionally....

Where on one hand my mom worships tolerance, my dad cannot stand injustice... Dad will always speak his mind and won't care what the other thinks; mom will keep to herself rather than hurt anyone. Such a blend of qualities I get to see in this one home...and so many things to learn from my parents.... I think I haven't even learnt 10 % of what they have got to teach. I need them till I get to that 100. I really do.


Thus, today when the doc announced that everything was normal and no treatment/ medicines were required; I felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me...and life, suddenly came back to normal.


  1. I am so glad to hear things are well with you... may it last long!

  2. am glad with the good news! and i so get it when u say tht u cant see your folks being "weak" in whichever way... i have realised how incapable and alone that thought made me feel!

    good post P! rock on :P

  3. this is good news :)
    i know, very well, how it feels to have a parent "weak"...

    and gurl.. .u'll NEVER learn the 100%... so u'll always need them.. no matter what! :)

  4. @ DDD, Rachana, Rayshma,

    Thanks for everything! However small your comment, means a lot to me,sp. for posts like this.

    Love you Gals!

  5. This is very emotional post .

    may god bless your family.

    wishing you good luck.

    please read my poems on my blog :


  6. @ Vijay,
    Thx for dropping by and commenting. will surely check out your poems. :) Keep visiting.


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