We, the non-sharers

Disclaimer : A post meant for women, but you may read too

How many of us like to share? I don't mean a meal, or clothes and shoes. I certainly do not mean FB sharing. How many of us share our stories? By stories I mean those ones which we may not necessarily be proud of. It may be a small incident, like being shouted at by a superior at the office, or it could be a life-shattering one, like being a victim of sexual harassment and all those remaining ones that lie in between. We believe in zipping our mouths and going about our daily lives as if nothing ever has gone awry. 

The problem with non-sharing is that we never realize if we have been right or wrong. We assume and accept that the fault lies within us; while showing the world that we are perfect, strong women with no dents whatsoever. Why do we consider opening up as a shameful act? Why does it feel so negative? 

To take off the ambiguity of this post, let me say that I went through a lot of revelations during and after my pregnancy. They changed a little bit in me for good; for now I believe that speaking up and sharing not only eases your mind but also helps another person who is in dire need for directions. 

The whole mother hood thing is a lot more than it looks. It causes permanent changes in the physical and emotional you. To cope with those changes, a woman needs a lot more comforting and boosts of confidence. 

I had some tough times while going through all this. And I believed in shutting up too. I did not want to look like a loser mom when everyone else was battling it out so fiercely. And then came along a blog post from a fellow mommy that seemed to open up the Pandora's box of mommy emotions. And that is how the emails and chats of mommydom all began with my friends. 

Over the course of next few days, I have decided to share my story of pregnancy and child birth. Stick to me if you are interested. 

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And so I begin my first mini-a-thon of the year. This one is a theme based one "Pregnancy & Child birth".

My Circle of Mommy Friends

Being a mommy to a kid is perhaps not as difficult as holding up your image as one to the world. There is so much pressure and breaking down is seriously not an option. Even though women have been there and done that, when it comes to being a third person and watching others take up the mothering duty, they get a lot judgmental... a lot more critical and always have something wrong to pick with the way you do something (to/with/for the kid).

As this is the case, we, the newly blessed mothers, have no one but our friends who are sailing in the same boat to pour our hearts to. Earlier I was skeptical and uncomfortable sharing my mommy-woe stories. But as and how my friends decided to come out of the closet and open their minds and share stories, I knew I was not the only one. And to say that it is therapeutic is the least. 

It first began with timid and shy questions and when we realised that all of us are battling similar situations, we decided to stick with our routine. I have friends with whom I exchange emails, have night chats (during the night feeds for them or me), write blogs, call up and skype with. We talk, bitch, rant, laugh at our miseries, exchange information etc. The best part is no one gets judged. You can complain all you want to, and nothing changes. Nothing is right or wrong. It's just you and your mommy woes. 

We may not really be complaining. We love our babies. We really do. Trust us. But there comes a time when we get tired of one way communication; we want to talk about other things than sterilizing bottles and changing diapers, we crave for some adult conversation that does not necessarily involve or revolve around our kids. It's not about getting fed up of our kid, or that we hate our full time mommydom, it's just a need for a breather. It refreshes and rejuvenates in so many ways that we look forward to going back to being a mommy to our kids. 

Sacrifice? Yes, that is the word. But for some reason when you are past your kids childhood, everything that the younger mommies do is viewed wrong and "not sacrificial enough". It is crass to even think of enjoying at a cinema, let alone actually going there. If you feel like pursuing your hobby, you are likely to be asked "Oh and where is your poor kid gonna be?". If you think it is too warm for a sweater today, you will be berated for not thinking of your kid's well being. No matter what you do it will never be a good match for what they did. Well, a modest reminder that we sacrifice too. Maybe not the same things or in the same manner, but we let go of many things that we liked to do. 

All in all, I love my circle of mommies who are all into it. We love being what we are and we also like to complain about myriad stages of mommydom. But in the end, we hope to turn out good mommies to kids. Face it, for our kids to have sane mommies, we have to let out some steam. 

Taste Of Peru

I am a big fan of shows where there are road trips, food and guys involved. Particularly that show where there is this Guy involved. If you do not know already, Diners, Drive-Ins' and Dives is a very popular show on the Food Network where Guy Fieri takes a road trip all through the 50 states of America in search for some authentic, mouth watering, lip smacking food; much like our Highway On My Plate. 

Every time this show is aired, I am praying for Chicago to be in his list. My prayers were answered the day I saw



We decided to check that place out as soon as possible. Hence, we seized the opportunity when V had come over.

Taste of Peru is a quaint little cozy place. One may not easily notice this place when in the neighbourhood. It is nothing fancy or glittery. I loved that the whole set up makes you feel instantly warm and at home. It is a small place but with lots of picture collection of Peru and the owner's family and friends. You know at once that the owner prides in his roots and family. That is what appealed to me the most.

The food was incredible and nothing that I have tasted so far.

We wanted to taste exactly what Guy had had and so we ordered the "Guy Fieri's Combo". That included

Tamales

Anticuchos de Carne O Pollo

Lomo Saltado

The combo also included a drink called Inka Kola, which was a canned drink much like our pineapple sherbat. And so was included a desert, Arroz Con Leche. Sorry for no snaps, but we were too shot after that heavy dinner and my kid has started to fuss a bit. Nevertheless, the desert complemented our dinner. It wasn't too sweet or too overpowering to ruin our taste buds.

Sudado de Camerones

I ordered this one, which was not a part of the combo. It was tangy shrimp curry served with rice. 

You can see the Inka Kola poured in my glass there, right?

Here is a snap of a wall full of photos that I absolutely loved and the owner standing right in the middle.  There is also a map of Peru. :)

You can see a lot of nick-knacks in this snap. Another element that I am a fan of.

Another thing that I should mention here, is that the owner is very interactive. He welcomed us in, shook hands, chatted for good 5 minutes. I mean how many owners get to do that with their customers? He even called Aarnavi "Khoobsurat". Can you imagine how much this person is involved into his business and making everyone feel great? Neither did he let us go without a word. He wished each one of us a Happy New Year. Why wouldn't I wanna go there again?

It is a BYOB establishment. (BYOB = Bring Your Own Booze) If you are looking for a nice, romantic, quiet experience, seek elsewhere because here you'll find families and friends having a nice time, being loud, boisterous and cheeky. It's a lively place where you'll enjoy the experience.

... and here is my happy little one on being called "Khoobsurat"!

First Post of the Year

Happy New Year to all! May this year bring peace, love and warmth of family and friends to us!

I have a good news right at the beginning of the year. My baby turned a year old! :D Isn't that fabulous? We had a nice little birthday party for her... complete with family and very close to heart friends. It was fun and heartening to have good people come and join us in this happy occasion. :) 

Although I have wished I could and would update my blog frequently, I have not done so. I am very bad at keeping promises made to self. I hardly feel bad about dishonouring myself. I know I sound like a stuck record, harping on forever about how I do not do anything about not being regular here. Hence, I found myself some solution. Instead of doing a whole month long blog marathon, I will do many mini-a-thons. That means, I will commit to write a certain number of posts for a certain number of days and stick to it. Does it sound like a plan?

I may start as early as this month! :) How happy am I making this announcement! :)

Look out! This page is soon gonna be updated!

December!

I have always loved the month of December. The merriment of Christmas mixed in with the chilly Pune air is, for me, a feel good factor. In years that went by, many happy moments (and thus, memories now) are associated with this month. Isn't it great to end a year with some happiness?

One of my most happiest moments lie in December. I would perhaps rate this day on a higher rank than my wedding day. Wedding is just a celebration to stamp the decision that we make. Making a decision to commit your life to one person for better or for worse is another league totally. This is where a person is right or wrong. I am glad I took a wise decision and hitch-hiked on this road called marriage to the person I loved and still do.

Well, in case you are wondering, there were no celebrations, nothing hunky dory. Guess what? The husband had even forgotten about it. When I reminded, he says "Oh yeah, isn't it?" But I am not mad at him. He remembers to change diapers,  I never have to remind him to refill baby formula and doesn't forget Aa's doctor appointment. I cannot be mad at him for something so frugal when I can see the efforts he's putting into being a wonderful, perfect daddy.

I swear, it has got nothing to do with the amazing gifts he showered on me for Thanksgiving. Take a look.

:) Got an amazing deal for the Notebook and the Galaxy Tab together, and the camera too came in with a case and 8 GB card. I have been craving for an DSLR since a long time, but looking at it from the price point, I found it too expensive. KK wasn't all too in love with any DSLR, because camera for him is a camera, what more could you get? But he took a look at one of our snap clicked at a friend's house in a dark setting and he was sold to my idea. The pic was bright, colourful and looked like it was a pro shot. Hence the camera was included into this year's buying list.

 The Samsung Notebook is gorgeous. I did not want anything fancy. As long I can check my emails and Facebook and blog, I am good to go. I love it! 

The Tab however is for KK. And he is in love with it. In his own words "It's like being newly wed!" :)

That said, every year I have something to look forward to in this last month. This year, V is gonna be visiting us and I am super excited! His visit although a short one is gonna be fun... I know it. :)

December for me is not just stock take of the year's events and making new resolutions. It is when I feel warm and special from within, no matter how chilly it is on the outside. Cozing up to my near and dear ones, knowing that they'll be there for me, feeling safe, secure and loved, is what I look forward to. If the whole year is "exercising" then December is my "meditation". :)

Peeping Up From The Mundane

"I was busy." seems like a valid reason to many questions regarding one's whereabouts, online or even in the real world. I, for one, have always believed that it is just an excuse for not doing something.

Like now, in my current situation, where I have immersed neck deep in motherhood, I still think being busy is just a term/ an excuse to not do something. And for me, it's totally got to do with my laziness. I wished a 1000 times that I would blog, or read a book or do something craftsy, or walk the treadmill. Alas, I have just kept wishing. 

This brings me to a whole lot of things that I have just let go and not shared on my space here. 

Thanksgiving is just over and we had some wonderful family time. It's always been the three of us here and over this holiday, we bonded and shared fun times. I realize that to make you feel good, special and happy, you don't need many friends or too many people... one right person, and you are settled for life. And this year, although with the tight budget, we bought a few things... splurged a little to make ourselves happy. Will blog about it soon. 

I get feedback from readers, not just the comments, but elsewhere, saying that they read my blog. Some say they read because I make them laugh, some say they relate to it very well, some say they look forward to my next blog post and often want to know when I will be doing so. I am so touched and humbled to get such beautiful views over my blog. No doubt, I love it when I am writing, but the feedback heightens the excitement. 

Also a lot of you have mentioned that it is difficult to comment on the blog and that you have not been able to do it. I truly do not know how fix that thing... so sorry for that snag. Hope it will resolve in the near future.

I am very much looking forward to the December month. Guess what it brings? Snow, memories and this year, as my god sent Christmas gift, V is gonna come visiting. Life couldn't get any better when you look forward to amazing. I know I am in for some awesome fun time. 

And time flies fast don't you think? Aa is already almost 11 months old and I cannot believe it. I have been given the entire responsibility to put together her birthday. I am pleased as a pie! There was a time when I used to have my birthdays celebrated and here I am planning for my daughter's. I feel older wiser. ;)

Well, that's all much I can think of at this moment to update. More posts will be seen soon. :) Promise.

Freeing From Clutter

As childish as it may seem, crying helps a lot! It eases the mind like anything. In fact, I realize that venting helps to start afresh. A few days ago, I found my mind cluttered with all kinds of things - hurtful comments, bad fights, wrong accusations. These things have a way of creeping into your mind and growing like a crazy weed. I was thinking in a loop . These thoughts just wouldn't go away. They played and replayed till it hurt me anew. And there was no one at the moment to hear me out. Nor was I sure if I wanted to let someone else see these personal ghosts.


I got a book and a pen and I wrote and wrote till my hand ached. The words just came out. It was like taking dictations from somebody. I did not pause for even a second to collect my thoughts. I was so brimming with these emotions that they came oozing out. I had filled up six sides and when my hand stopped receiving signals naturally, all my worries were on the paper.

When I re read them, I was amazed at how much I was holding back. The pain, the hurt, the stress slipped away and I was feeling lighter. I haven't looked back at that writing again.

Some say scribbling hard helps, some say destroying something helps, and some more say screaming helps. Dealing with it in this manner, transforms your discomfort into something tangible. They just give you a temporary outlet to your current emotions; they do not free you from them. To truly cleanse your mind, that bad stuff needs to be out of your system, transferred onto/ into something that goes away. Cry it out. Let the steam out. Let your worries dissolve in tears or words and see them off.

Try it. It might succeed in taking some miseries off your life.