Candid, not Candied

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

LDR Phone call

He : Hi!! wassup?

She : Hi sweetie. nuthin. thinkin about you, what else?

He : *tunes up* riyally?

She : ummm..hhmm.. what you doing?

He : me? talking to you.

She : *doesn't find it funny but* hee hee cute. so wassup?

He : nuthing new. I think about you... everytime. babes, when do we meet again?

She : My flirt! and when do you work? *puppy expression and tone* I know baybee, i'm dying to see you.

He :

She : so what?

He : Wassup with ur Hitler?

She : *fakes anger* My daddu's not Hitler. He's strict that's it. I haven't talked to him after that day. why?

He : Just. He's never gonna say yes to our relationship.

She : Baby, now don't spoil your mood now. tell me what did u eat? hey whats the time there?

He : No. I want to talk about it.... him, sorry. why can't that $#%^& understand? he's sucha....

She : *now really angry* Stop it! You can't talk about my dad that way. He's my dad!!! he's..

He : *Raises voice* Yea right! he's ur darling dad. and I'm no one for u. I know it. I dunno why I even...

She : If u were no one, I wouldn't make this international call to you at 1 in the morning. do you get me? U cannot insult my dad. let me tell you for the 1000th time now.

He : *silence* ...

She : *silence* ...

He : sorry. I'm sorry. I shudn't have lost my cool.

She : *silence*

He : Babes, I sed i'm sorry. say something to me.

She : what do I say? each time i say something, you connect it to my dad and all hell breaks loose. i love you both. *starts crying*

He : baby, baybeee, please. please. dont cry now. what can i say now.

She : *sheepishly*. say you love me.

He : I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you to pieces. happy?

She : *giggles* i love you too. ok hold on... just a min....

He : why what happened?... hey? dont disconnect.

She : *silence*

He : whaaaat? wassup?

She : No nuthing. i thought dad got up. He'd hear me no?

He : Here we go again. U know. I think we shud elope. get married. and not show our faces ever again to your family. anyway, your dad and bully brother hate me. Aunty hates me too. Everyone in your family hates me ya! we shud run away.

She : does your mother like me?

He : She likes you.

She : *angry* Yeah right. That's why last time she taunted me at least a hundred times in 5 minutes. I have taken away her only kid' it seems. Now, I don't bring up ur mom everytime, do i? and you dad just doesn't care if his D-I-L is me or some other female, as far as she is not a gori mem! and guess what, you can avoid my parents for the rest of ur blissful life. But me? I have to bear yours all through mine.

He : *very angry* If u think u have to bear my parents, we can really call off this relationship, you know. Anyway, this long distance relationship isn't working. It'll save us a lot of headache, you know?

She : *Calmly* Are you serious about this? I have to know. But let me tell you, I have done a lot for this relationship to work.

He : *Calming down* I have too, you know. It's not simple. Listening to ur firang boss breathe down orders on you the whole day and get into personal mess after getting back home. Know what, even Captain Morgan doesn't help me forget all this.

She : Who's he?

He : The Boss? Firang hai yaa. leave him naa. I don wanna talk abt him now.

She : Noooo, Captain Morgan. Who's he?

He : *Irritated* arree yaar, Rum hai.

She : *shocked* You drink everyday?

He : No ya. not everyday!! don't be a typical girlfriend now. what else new? How's your job? Did ur friend get married?

She : Dude! She's 7 months pregnant now! what world are you in?

He : Ohhh? since when?

She : Since 7 months!!

He : DUH! i meant when did she get married?

She : Is it important? hey btw! I think I'm next in line for promotion.

He : oh? ok? cool.

She : That's it? I mean, u don't sound too excited. whats wrong.

He : naah nuthing. Just tired. so wassup with ur promotion thingy? Boss happy with you.

She : Change the tone, I dint like it!

He : Alright, alright! Is your work keeping your Boss happy... so much so that he thought of pushing you up your career ladder? Happy?

She : Now stop being sarcastic! If u don't wanna listen. don't. I won't tell u about it.

He : Baby. C'mon. tell me abt it.

She : hey no. some other time. its late now. almost an hour. Got office tomorrow.

He : hey 5 more minutes please. please.

She : No. Have to sleep ya. I wud love to talk the entire night.

He : Ok. you won't listen. will you dream about me?

She : Of cors sweetie. I dream every night about getting married to you.

He : and...?

She : and what? useless! nothing. then i wake up coz I have to go to the office and please my Boss, as you put it.

He : he he he he... I dream something more you know.

She : I've a censor board for my dreams. Now let me go.

He : I'm not holding you. Though I wish I were.

She : bye.

He : hey wait. what about our ritual?

She : nothing. get lost bye.

He : arrree...not fair. say naa..kaho naa pyaar hai..

She : sheeesh, how corny!! now you go to your firang boss.

He : Look, I'm straight.

She : YUCK! sheeeeeesh....go now. bye.

He : ritual?

She : BYE! Say bye!

He : *sighs* ok bye. when will i call you again?

She : you don't call me. I'll call you. Now bye.

He : I love you babes.

She : I love you too, baybee. byee.


Concept of LDR - Long Distance Relationship was an inspiration from an incident narrated by a friend, KK.

Dialogue - Pure Imagination.

In case of any resemblance to any conversation between any LDR couple anywhere - I eavesdrop too well. :P


  1. almost 60% of your imaginary converation is absolutely true... is it just imagination or prior experience on LDR ??? :P
    good going purni.. accha likha hai

  2. heheh, nice one re!

    enjoyed reading!


  3. I thought all of this was real.. and with you.. aww.. the last bit killed all the excitement ..

  4. LOL!!! Yappa Purnima this was SO corny but this must be so true.

  5. Nice flow to the dialogue.. :-)

  6. Most probably the "she" will send the "he" some milk and honey. Ugh how can people talk like that.

  7. is that how people talk on phone these days?? babes and all?

  8. @ Sujata: Yeah... people do speak like that. My current roommate speaks the same words on call...

  9. @Sujata: My sister talks to her girlfriends this way, "hey babes! you coming naa to see the movie?' YUCK.

  10. @ Kiran,

    mera experience toh nahi lagta. lekin tis u who's confirming ki 60% of the convo is true. I smell somethin fishy there. :P

    @ Rasna,

    :| I know u did. is se aage bhi kuch likhti!

    @ Praveen,

    you think i'd publish my convo here to the whole wide world? naah! and pileeeeez, I'm not that corny!!

    @ SJ,

    Corny to the core!! and yes it is true.

    @ phatichar,


    @ The Holy Lama,

    Milk, honey and sugar! hehehehe...

    @ Sujata,

    yes. they do. two of them have already replied to you. I cud have included "sweetheart", "honey" and "candy" .. but stopped myself. :P

  11. sweetheart is what i call my kids, and am better than aji sunte ho for the hubby..but i limit myself to his name..and a loud call of his name usually gets me the desired attention..but baby and candy my god its diabetic!!

  12. Sujata, haven't u heard of "sweetu" and "tutu" and "pumpkin"?

  13. nice writing, I enjoyed the phone conversation so much that I thought I am eaves dropping :)

  14. @ c0rrUpt,

    Thanks a lot! Next time try real eavesdropping, guaranteed laughter for lifetime. :)


Go on, say it! I will not sue you... pinky promise!


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