Candid, not Candied

Friday, 12 April 2013

Why I Don't Have A Pet

I have already once written about my pet parrot in my blog that I deleted. I feel the need to write about it once again. One of my favourite author, Preeti Shenoy, often writes about her pet dog. Yesterday's post was one such (rather her pic with Lostris, her pet Dob), which made my mind track back to the time when I had my own pet.

I do not remember the details very correctly, but I am going to narrate as I remember it. I was around 6 - 7 years of age when this parrot entered into our lives. My maternal grandma had recently expired. (I don't recall if it was days/ weeks or months before) The environment in the house was generally subdued. One day while returning from our grocery shopping, we found a wounded parrot in the semi-parking duct space. As kids, myself and V were very excited and wanted to nurse it back to health. We pleaded our parents to let us take it home, which they gladly accepted. My mother instantly related this to my grandma's return in another form.

We kept him warm and gave it some fruit and water. The next day my father got him a cage where he could perch. We always kept the cage door open, lest he wanted to fly away. Myself and V being happy at his arrival, spent all our free time with him. We tried to teach him to talk. (He was a grown bird and we were unaware that the best time to teach them to talk is when they are babies) Despite his inability to catch up on words, we loved feeding him soaked lentils out of our palms. We loved watching him flap his wings. In fact, we just loved the idea of him being there. It also seemed like he was getting better every hour.

Every morning after waking up, I would go pet him (even before I brushed my teeth)! Every noon when I came home from school, I wanted to feed him (even before I changed into my pjs)! I was smitten by this new entrant.

It was one of the weekend days, I guess, because that day we woke up late. My mother was trying not to get me near the cage. She was adamant that I brush my teeth and get done with the breakfast. I don't know if I obeyed her. All I remember is seeing my parrot lying lifeless in the cage. His eyes shut tight. (It was just a week or so after we got him home) We cried the whole day. My father buried him in the garden at the backside of our building. I cried throughout the burial uncontrollably. V tried to console me but he was tearing up too. I didn't eat anything for several hours. Mom had to coax me into having something.

After that, even though I did ask my parents to buy me a pet, I did not mean it. I did not try to convince them or beg them because I did not have the courage to face another separation. Till date I do not think I have it in me. It is wrong and morbid to think of separation even before I get one. But that's how it is with me. When I think of a pet, all I think is "how do I deal with its loss?" With that thought, I back off.

Whenever I see someone with their pet; how much love they share, the camaraderie; I flirt with the idea of how it would be if I had one. Now that I have a kid, I realise that in a few years she might demand for a pet. I am still unsure of how to deal with that. It would be unfair for me to devoid her of a friend and beautiful companionship just because I am averse to it. I know for sure that I cannot remain aloof and show no emotion towards it.

I don't know if I'll ever be ready to allow a pet to steal my heart and then have it hurt and broken because of loss/ separation. Perhaps I still have a long time to prepare myself for it. It'd be great if I have a change of heart and turn this reluctance into surety.

8 comments:

  1. i was sad too when i lost my african love birds. my mom called them krishna and radha :D dad never allowed any pets at home after that. i think he was facing the same problem that you are!

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    Replies
    1. I loved the names! The same thing here, mom turned down requests for a pet after that.

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  2. Many people get hamsters as pet for their children for this very reason. The life span of the hamster is two years. Loss of a pet, teaches you acceptance of love and loss and moving on. In many ways, it prepares you for real life, where inevitably you ARE going to face loss in so many ways! Nobody lives forever. By learning to let go, and learning to move on, and learning to love fully and completely and learning to cherish the memories, when the loved one (be it a human or an animal) is gone, one is learning the true meaning of life :)

    Scientific research has also proven how much pets help children, emotionally.

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    1. I do realise all that, but in some manner, I still do not want to do it. I think I have to teach myself to be more selfless and keep myself open to accept the hard facts of life! Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  3. I always wanted to have a pet dog but my mom is really scared so we never got around to having one - now that I am living alone, I hope to get a dog soon :) I know their life-span isn't a long one and their loss is incredibly difficult to deal with, yet the fear of losing something shouldn't really stop someone from experiencing the joys one gets of having them around :P

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    1. Like I mentioned above, I have to ready myself for it. Let's see if I get there. But if I do, it'll surely be on this blog.

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  4. Your blog has been nominated for the Liebster award. For more details, please visit : http://opentheclosedbook.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/so-i-got-award.html

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    1. Thank you Aparna! :) on to it soon!

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Go on, say it! I will not sue you... pinky promise!

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