Day 6 :: Left is not right

We were pleasantly surprised when V's first born turned out to be left handed. Both parents being right handed, we were wondering how D turned out a lefty. We later learned that one of my cousin and a niece are lefties too.

Aarnavi is also lefty. Her gross and fine motor skills hinted that she would turn out one, but they say kids are ambidextrous till they turn two. She is well after 2 now and is definitely a lefty. Hardcore one at that. She even eats with her left hand. Now that she has turned out one of the 'minority' population, she is met with surprise, shock, excitement, and I am sure some people have even cringed.

I had not realised this until now. But left handed people do have to face some disgusting truths living among the right handed ones. First and foremost, people think they are born abnormal. They are perceived to be born with deformity, one that needs to be 'corrected' at the right age.

This particular incident took place when I was carrying Aarnavi. The neighbours at my laws place have a daughter who is, (I now think, was) left handed. When the topic arose, her mother told me they are steering her from being wrong handed to right handed. And how? By hitting her left hand when she used for eating/ shaking hands etc. By discouraging her and blaming her for using her dominant hand. I was dumbfound! Obviously no child deserves that. I tried to explain whatever little knowledge I had had on the subject. And I am sure it fell on deaf ears. They spoke as if some spirit had resided in their daughter! Never again did I have the courage to ask.

A friend shared this link and although it is funny, it does speak about the most cliched problems that lefties face. Oh yes, I hated sitting next to a lefty at exams or even in class for there would be elbow battles unless we swapped places! Aarnavi's gonna be at the receiving end, I know.

Recently when I was at my hometown, we got to visit temples. And everywhere, Aarnavi was extending her left hand for the prasad. I wonder who says right is  superior to left?! For her, and for every lefty, that is the dominant hand and thereby the superiority.
They would do the typical clicking of their tongues and make her extend her right hand. When I mentioned that she is left handed, they said "but yes, prasad is to be taken by the right hand only." I wanted to fight but realising the futility of it all, kept mum.

I met the lefty-hating neighbours too. And they were shocked to learn that Aarnavi was one among those possessed ... :D I did not encourage any further talks on the matter, rather mentioned quite haughtily that left handed people are far more intelligent than right handed ones. :P ;)

I encourage Aarnavi to use her hand as she wishes. I did not try to avert her from eating out of her left hand. Yes, I am wondering how I would teach her to write from my right and her left. I am wondering if she wants to crochet, or learn guitar, or violin, how will she manage. But then I think of thousands of other lefties who have made it. I am confident that she will too!

Day 5 :: Breathless

She rushed into the waiting elevator, hurriedly pressing the button for 13th floor. She was out of breath. 13 floors - she had approximately 15 seconds to catch her breath.

The ting signaled that she had reached her destination. The elevator door separated promptly. As soon as she walked out, people waiting at the floor let out piercing shrieks! She was alarmed. She turned to take a look.

She saw her body slumped down against the railing in the elevator.

Day 4 :: Recipe Post - Kadhi Gole

Like I said, I am going to write one recipe per week to try and kick some enthusiasm into my cooking spirit. The moment I see more than 5 ingredients in a recipe I deem it impossible for me to make it.

Today's recipe is nothing new, but the fact that I made it is extraordinary. I was craving for some Kadhi Gole and decided I would make it.

Obviously, I am a dufoos at innovation. I had to resort to an online recipe blog. The original recipe is found here.  Do hop there for great maharashtrian recipes. I have tried some from there.

Coming to what and how I made it. I am really bad at accurate measurements, hence skipping them. I usually eyeball the amount and generally (thankfully) turns out fine.

Kadhi Gole

Ingredients for the kadhi
Buttermilk
Turmeric
Besan
Oil
Mustard seeds
Curry Leaves
Methi seeds
Jeera
Ajwain
Hing
Ginger
Garlic - I am lazy so I used GG paste
Cut Green Chillies
Salt
Sugar







Ingredients for the gole
Chana Dal soaked for 3-4 hours
Green chillies
Ginger
Garlic
Jeera
Turmeric
Garam masala- a tiny bit
Salt

Method for the kadhi

Make a paste of besan and water and add this to the buttermilk. I even added the turmeric at this point because I tend to burn the turmeric in the tadka.

Heat oil in a kadhai

Add mustard seeds. Add jeera, hing, green chillies, curry leaves, ajwain and methi seeds once the mustard seeds start spluttering

Fry for 30 seconds and add the buttermilk mixed with besan paste

Add Salt and sugar according to taste

Keep stirring till it starts boiling

Let it simmer for 2-3 mins on low flame

Making the gole

Grind all the ingredients of the gole in the mixer with no water. Make small balls out of them.

Add the balls into the simmering kadhi for 4-5 minutes, so that they soak up all the wonderful flavours

Serve hot with chapati, or enjoy with steamed rice

Day 3 :: Being Judgmental

Whenever I hear the word 'judgmental', I replay the scene from the movie English Vinglish where Sridevi asks her niece to explain what the word means.

Now while the scene is not for discussion today, the word judgmental sure is. Of late, I realised a few things. I started seeing things with open eyes and mind. I have started observing people and their behaviour. What keeps them interested, what makes them skeptical of others, why do they say what they say... and so on are some of the subtle observations that I have started making. No i am not studying psychology or any mind related studies. It's just that in the year that went by, I experienced people in all different forms. They were the same people that I knew. Some were old acquaintances and  some recent friends, some relatives, some strangers!

People are selfish. All of them, with varying wavelengths of being selfish. When I say selfish, I don't mean they are bad. I mean they have (all of us really, knowingly/ unknowingly) an intrinsic need to assert themselves in every action and situation, regardless of their involvement with the said issue. They go lengths in proving how you are wrong and how what they say is the real and correct. Ever had to listen to unsolicited advice? The part where they make you feel you are worthless and how your decisions are least effective?

People are judgmental. They often jump the gun and come down to a conclusion, which throws you at the wrong side. Their judgments lead them to believe what you have done does not fit the bill. People fail to see your perspective. They have hardly walked in your shoes, but they are at the forefront solving your problems for you, for free. Well, not so free, you are the one paying the price - listening to them and feeling stupid!

You might say why would you want to listen to people. True. I never want to do that. It's they who welcome themselves into our lives and start a sermon. Sometimes you are only too polite to ask them to shut up. Reasons could be that they are elders, teachers, bosses, parents, best friend, siblings, relative that you once idolized. And sometimes, it is better to let them speak than explain why you are correct. Yes, with all that pent up frustration, you might explode one day in their faces. Then again, they get judgy, and call you imprudent.

Under the pretext of giving you suggestions, they want you to walk the path that they have mapped out for you. Isn't that dominance? If you adopt their method, you make them happy; but if not, you are in for some serious debates. Say something does go wrong despite their warnings, you are doomed for life!

Well, that is how it is. You keep quiet and you have to listen to endless discourse that in your life and setting will make no sense! You say something and you are labelled - arrogant, foolish, disrespecting, hungry for trouble etc. You are just not allowed to follow your heart and heed to your mind!

Just to quote a safe example - I recently had joined a FB group for new moms. Earlier it was all good. New moms helping out other new moms with baby related / non-related advice. Things started turning sour with comments pouring in not as a reply to the post but as an insult to some other comment made by another mom that did not conform to the general POVs. And yes, the comments were humiliating making blind assumptions and accusations directed at that mom. It spread like a virus. There was mess on every post. Demeaning words at ever step. No moral policing helped. Later the policing also started to get icky! Needless to say, I am not longer a part of that group.

 Where do I stand in all this? I have started to make conscious efforts in keeping my mouth shut. No unsolicited advice, no matter how well I know the issue. No judging people. I believe that whatever a person does, does so with ample thought behind it. Who knows, that might be the best possible option available to him after considering his pros and cons. Why should I pass a comment at his situation when his outcome is not affecting me? I have stopped caring. Not for their sake but for my own.

I don't care if someone buys a second hand car. I don't care if someone's not had a baby after 4 years of marriage. It is not my responsibility to care for them and certainly not my life to analyse the reasons for the same. Why should I bother? The intention behind the entire non caring status is not to judge a person. The moment one starts judging, immediately the person who is being judged gains inferiority! You lower their stature in an instance without discerning if they deserve it or not.

Day 2 :: Initial Jitters

And today I was called to Aarnavi's school to collect these

Oh yes, it is time for Aarnavi to start school. Parents who have gone through this stage will certainly understand my state of mind. I am excited, nervous and above all, frightened.  I do not want to be scared but I am. Is it a part of being a parent? And I do not know as to particularly what I am scared of. I guess this fear stems from the insecurity that I have to leave my child at the hands of strangers, albeit for a few hours.

The school upholds a very good reputation among the parents, who have sworn that Euro Kids has been one of the best experiences in terms of child development. Hence I know for sure that my child is in good hands. The school is close by too. 

It is a new chapter in her life and ours too. Aarnavi is over the moon seeing her school stuff and wants to hold her books and bag. I am excited too but for this frivolous fear. 

There are some 12-15 more days for her first day. So wish me luck till then. My lill girl's gonna grow up!

Day 1 :: Re-introduction

This was me then...

and this is me now!

The years that have gone in between these two pictures were great teachers. They have transformed me from something that I was, to something else that I am today.

I am older, fatter and definitely less innocent than I was. 

The earlier picture dates about 10-11 years back. That was a period of innocent beliefs and arrogant adamance. An age where I was sure I could control my destiny and swing it the way I wanted it to. A time when I thought things were not subject to changes. It was a time for taking things for granted!

Now obviously, personal myths have been busted. In these years, I have fallen flat on my face, eaten my own words, suffered betrayals from friends, had to confront some harsh realities - in general, life started happening! They were bad alright, but I learnt some valuable lessons. With ego bruised and heart broken a few times, I have turned a lot more tolerent towards people and situations. 

Likewise, good days have also contributed to bringing changes in me. Finding a job that I liked, falling in love, getting married, motherhood, changing houses, making new friends - each stage gave me immense pleasure and a new boost to lead the gift of life. 

We keep changing... day after day, year after year. I may be the same person in the picture, but still I am not the same. Pictures can only catalogue the way you looked once and the way you look now; but only you can feel and live the changes that you underwent. 

The nail biting eve of Blogathon 2014

On the eve of my 30 days long blogathon journey, I thought I should do a post summarizing on what the blogathon will be all about. It's more like a ready recknor for me than for you!

First a little on why I do a blogathon. My inspiration for a blog marathon comes from one of my favourite authors, Preeti Shenoy. She does a blogathon every year and it is difficult not to gain inspiration from her posts.

Secondly, it is a biiiiiiiig challenge along with being a wonderful learning process. Staying connected with readers for 30 consecutive days is a delirious feeling. There is some sort of responsibility towards my blog and readers when I am doing it. It is a commitment to be fulfilled.

I am taking up this year's blogathon on an impulse. Ain't I always impulsive! Along with my personal experiences, I am thinking of introducing a recipe post (to motivate me into cooking something with real interest), a photo post and a gyaan post (unsolicited advice that I usually don't give in person :P) - just one per week. I met a lot of people, wished I could unmeet some, been on happy, sad, had first time experiences, had not so first time experiences but they felt new - all such things are featuring in the blog marathon! And, of course, anything else that catches my fancy.

I know I am pushing myself into some difficult times ahead. I am so not ready for it, and I still want to do it badly.

Well, hoping you all stay with me and motivate me in this long stretchy journey of 30 days. See you tomorrow!