Candid, not Candied

Monday 8 April 2013

Marriage is a Three-Legged Race

 Isn't it? Two individuals, countless dreams, varied thoughts, myriad opinions, different strategies, but one goal. Tied at the feet, two individuals have to cross the finish line without tripping over. Sounds like an easy one, but many are stumped over it. Communication, co-ordination, communication is necessary. Likewise one cannot discount understanding, trust and the will to make it happen.

Tomorrow we are completing three years of married life. (Hence, the title) Our journey for these three years have been with its highs and lows. We have had a lot of wonderful moments that will remain etched in our memories till forever. And there were not so great moments too. Nothing out of ordinary, but everything is still special.

People change, relationships evolve and our whole world metamorphoses. In fact it keeps changing, at every event, every incident - big or small. We have too. Looking back at how we started off and seeing how we are today, has many differences. Fortunately those differences are not undesirable. I'd like to believe that we are wiser, have a better understanding of ourselves and people around us. We have learnt lessons together. Lessons that were harshly taught by others and situations. We have a better understanding of our life goals.

All these happened only after we made mistakes. As individuals, we did wrong and stumbled. While the other did get angry and frustrated, amends were made and a loving helping hand was always offered to the one on the ground. We have fought about things, bickered at each other's errors. But in the end, we did look beyond the ugly. I think that matters the most. In fact, on a personal note, I think fights are refreshing. They push out all the hostilities and you can start anew.

We have a beautiful daughter and we have enjoyed every bit of her. We loved bringing her up together, and with no help from anyone. It was something we shared. We have been able to relish every part of her first year. I cannot thank Kiran enough for being there for me at all those times and for not giving up on me during that times I felt like I was an undeserving mother. He took care of situations where I was insecure and scared. When no one supported me or my decisions, he told me to believe in myself and my maternal instinct.

We sat up all night when Aarnavi was unwell. Both clueless on how to go by the night. We have taken turns holding and soothing her when she cried on endlessly for reasons that were never revealed. The whole of last year has been "We". We worked as a team. Pushing away individual wishes, ignoring individual needs, we have worked in tune. It is a good thing when you are not alone in the sacrificing bit. Aarnavi's arrival gave a whole new meaning to our relationship. Agreed we have too little time for each other now, but whenever we do, it is special.

Three years is not such a long time. But for me it was, as every minute counted. And it still does. There is a big, winding road ahead of us and a lot more to be explored in this journey. I want my marriage to work and not in a compromising way. I want it to be at the center of my world.

This is the moment that I treasure the most... 

Kanyadaan



8 comments:

  1. well, its said that if you cross the first two years, you did a good job! so Congratulations :) Hope you guys have an amazingly awesome future ahead!!

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    1. haha.. yes, we did go well over 2 yrs! Thank you for your good wishes and welcome to my blog!

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  2. Wishing you both a very happy anniversary!!!

    Lovely pic! :-))))

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    1. Thank you, Uma! The pic really captures the moment and is one among my favorites! :)

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  3. You are right Purnima, it is indeed a three legged race and I have run it for 17 years ( as of date). Belated anniversary wishes. Hope you have many more!

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    1. Thank you, Meera, for your good wishes!

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  4. hey Purnima, thoroughly enjoyed reading your pieces...didn't know there was a writer in you :)
    All the best and have fun !

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Bunty akka! I have been writing since college days. a hobby of mine. Hope you stay tuned for more.

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