Day 30 :: Reason for feeling alive and tired

Today was one of the days when you truly feel alive. Well nothing out of the ordinary. It was just a normal routine day, just that Aa is getting active by the day and naughty may I add?!

Now since she is used to me for the majority of the day, she screams even if I enter the kitchen to pour myself some coffee. She plays silently if I am sitting there, right next to her. If not, the banshee sounds. As a solution, I ask my mom to be online and video chat for the whole morning (which is comfortably after dinner time for her).

Aa's started to crawl and I don't blame her for wanting to explore every nook and cranny. From the day she started rolling over, I have been dreaming of seeing her crawl. And to whoever I mentioned this dream of mine would say "Just watch your words."

I feel like eating my words! It is wonderful to see her mobile but when I have to cook and clean and sundry, it makes me tear my hair. She loves the wires, chargers, cable, telephone, anything.

So today was one such day. Each time I moved away from her, she lunged towards the laptop or the cell phone or the wires or the sliding table and I had to come running to pick her and relocate the girl, only to repeat the procedure again. And again. And again. It really got to me today! Mommy was having a time of her life looking at her daughter's daughter trouble her daughter as such.

I take it back if it sounded like a complaint. I am so looking forward to another day, where Aa makes me run and turns me mad.

That's the thing about kiddos. No matter what, you fall in love with them.

P.S. Been long since I posted some good pictures of my darling. Will do it soon. ;)

Day 24 :: Latest from Aa world

We know that every child meets its milestone at its own pace. Even then it is difficult not to compare baby achievements.

When I saw Avi, My friend Shweta's kiddo, sit unsupported when he was mere 6 months old, I was surprised! Aa was not even close. I wondered how long will she take to sit. She has started sitting unsupported since 15 days now. Since then, I have seen huge developments in her activities. I think she is undergoing growth spurts.

She understands a lot more than she did a fortnight back. A slightly high pitched "NO" and she stops in her tracks to the wires. She associates voice with the person; can recognise lullabys from reprimands; screams in my absence; cries when a toy she is playing with, is taken away from her.

And physically too, she is pacing up. She sat, rocked and crawled (like full lenghts without falling) within 2-3 days. Now she finds sitting and crawling boring, so she holds me for support and stands up!! And here I was wondering when she will sit. In a blink of an eye she has done all this.

She is getting verbal too. Since yesterday she has started to make more meaningful sounds, not just gurgles. She started repeating "bababababababa" and "papapapapapa" all of a sudden yesterday evening! When we repeated the same to her, she found it immensly funny and burst into peels of laughter. Would have loved to upload the same. Maybe tomorrow.

I am sure all the babies are as smart and must be doing the same thing world wide. But that's the thing about your "own" baby, anything it does, you find it fascinating and boast worthy. Every parent feels proud of his/ her child's milestones. Hell, it is exciting even if it poops a different colour one day!

I am proud! Yes. Very. Very. Very!

However tired I may be, I look forward to the next day. Waiting for Aa to do something new, make a new face, try a new trick.

Aa, mommy looooooooooves you! Muah!

My Babe...

I'm at loss of words when I try to say something about my daughter. It sounds vague but I still have phases of disbelief that I have given birth to a baby. She is miraculous, angelic and devilish at the same time.

I had a planned C -section. I was admitted to the hospital the night before, and what a night that was! Full of anticipation, excitement, and relief that finally those 9 months have gone by. Fear was overshadowed by all these emotions. In fact, I even took permission to take a look at the OT. The wide array of neatly kept instruments and vials of medicines looked appealing. 

The next day, in semi conscious state, I saw the nurse take my baby away for cleaning. I was surprised even then, like I never expected a baby to come out of me!!

'That's it? Done?' I asked the doctors.

'Yes. Of course.' one of them replied and smiled.

'So, is it a girl or a boy?'

'What did you want?'

'Umm... let's see... my husband wanted a boy and I wanted a girl. Who won?'

'You did. It's a girl.'

I was stupefied... for all those experienced ladies'(including my mom and MIL) predictions that I was gonna have a baby boy, I had pink in store for me. I was proud... I was super happy. My deep,secretly hidden wish to bear a daughter was fulfilled. 

That's her! Crying in full glory!

We named her 'Aarnavi', which means as large hearted as an ocean. The name was decided by me and KK, long time back. We loved the meaning and the way it sounded. 

Mothering is not an easy task. Just because moms make it look simple, doesn't mean it is a cake walk. There have been times when I have broken down and cried over not being able to be a perfect mom. I realise that even I need time to get adjusted to the baby. Physically as well as emotionally. 

I was in huge emotional mess due to physical constraints. Delivering C section came with its disadvantages. Initially, limited mobility, absolute necessity of rest, the twitching and the heaviness kept me from caring for my baby. And I am not the most ideal person with patience in hand. I thought everything falls into place once the baby is out. I was mistaken. I had to learn everything.

Mothering is a natural instinct, everyone said. Perhaps only the emotional part comes naturally. Everything else, needs to be learnt from the scratch. From how to hold the baby to breastfeeding it, requires some time and technique.

No two days are similar for me. There are ups and downs. And I am trying to learn on how to increase my patience level, and not feel demotivated each time I fail to do something perfectly.

As my child teaches new lessons everyday, I am coming to learn those big and small aspects of motherhood. It's difficult but not impossible. 

My darling has brought me and KK even closer. We both are amazed at her little antics. The sudden smile, the loud wail, she has your nose, she has my feet, she stays up all night- must be your trait...

Husband's already in the US. Waiting for us to join him there. Till then we both are trying to get to know each other. :)

Blissfully unaware of the circus she creates around the house, she sleeps!

P.S. More posts in line. Kindly check.

It's a

GIRL!!!!

January Update

Getting admitted tonite. Have planned C-section tomorrow. I am excited alright! Will finally be coming face to face with my little one. I have no idea on how I will react when I finally hold my (OMG, really?) MY baby.... there is a lot of curiosity, whether it's a boy or girl, does s/he have head-ful of hair, does the nose resemble KK's or mine.... I truly cannot explain my state of mind.

I am anything but scared.... in fact I am so waiting for the result to be out! I am less than 24 hrs away from cuddling Jr.

I probably will not be able to update this space as often as I have been doing. But I am sure gonna try. And as for letting you guys know about the arrival of Jr., will ask KK to let you in on the secret!

This is the first time that I have bitten my nails in happiness till they have disappeared!

Guess what? Tomorrow, I am gonna be a mother for life! :)

Random Update

I'm still here. Fine and eating and  most importantly, sleeping! Jr.'s arrival is probably a week or ten days away. So this is real test of time. It is dragging and dragging.

Every time I sleep, I dream of my baby. Once I saw a boy, second time I saw a girl and third time I didn't know the gender. So I guess I really have no preference for a boy or a girl. I'll be happy with either of them. :) :)

I am due for a USG and doc appointment tomorrow and the day after, resp. I'll probably have something solid to say on when Jr. is planning his/ her arrival. hee!

BTW, I wonder if the preggyfection is getting to all my friends. Everyone's following the suit! :)

I am 90% gonna have a C-section. But then, you never know. Here I might be thinking about evading the labor pains and Jr. might just change his/her mind and position. :P I know I am impulsive; guess Jr.'s too!

We have baby names ready; well since a very long time. And I absolutely luuuuuv them! No, I am not revealing the alphabet. Keep guessing until I tell you.

I am reading blogs regularly like I did earlier. Just this time I am not commenting, because I feel terribly lazy to click on the link. Similarly there are a lot of blog posts in my head too that I wish I could do but I am not doing them.

I attended my best friend's reception and gathered a lot of attention and "all the bests" from many.  Ooooo... I loved being the center of attention! Every one said that I don't look fat. That creamed me.

That reminds me, last time I said I hadn't put on any weight. Taking the comment to heart my dear KK stuffed me with food for whole 7 days and that showed on the doc's weighing scale. I'd put on 2 kgs in one week! :O

KK had his birthday the previous week. And I didn't buy him a gift, neither had any surprise planned like I'd done last year.  It was quite family affair. My dad surprised us by getting a cake and flowers. It was followed by a family dinner in a nearby restaurant.

Well, that's about it for now. Will probably update once again day after.

:) :) :)

December Update II

Just a week back got a colour doppler USG. That's some fancy way of checking the baby. :P Anyway, last time I mentioned Jr. was lying in oblique position, this time however, s/he is not. Jr. decided to play hopscotch with the long long umbilical cord and as a result has gotten it looped around his/ her neck (loosely), not once but twice. Yeah, Jr. seems to be naughty already!

Despite me hogging all day like a pig, my weight has not increased even by half a kg, which invited "You need to eat more" from the doc. I don't know how much more I can manage eating when I am reaching for the food plate very 15-20 mins. *And I am eating everything, from chicken to fish to veggies to yummies* Sigh!

Meanwhile, the doc has asked to wait until the 28th December... to take it lying down till then, which means total bed rest. And there would be a final USG to check for Jr. updates. I am most likely to have C-section.

So, am I scared or upset? I thought I would be, but I am not. In fact I am more irritated when I learnt the tailor lady has misplaced my saree blouse! I wanna blow her head off! I was planning to wear that saree for my best friend's reception which falls this Sunday!

Another Jr. news :: Since Friday night, s/he suddenly became lethargic and hence kicked and tumbled less.  That was enough to bring my heart in my throat. No amount of pushing and poking the bump made any difference. I made KK cancel his plan to attend office picnic and rushed to the doc.

As soon as we reached the hospital and Jr. heard doc's voice, s/he was back in action, showing his/ her favorite antics. The heartbeats were normal too. Phew!!!! !!!!! *Now I somehow understand mom's phone call whenever I came home late* 


Currently, night time has become like circus. I wake up at odd times, either to eat or to complain about my sciatic nerve pain or to pee or to drink water or I wake up just like that.

Though, I would love to update it after the next doc visit, I dunno if I will be able to. I have been advised to lie down as much as possible.

Ending note : I am terribly excited, now that the countdown has finally begun (and that there is uncertainty on when the doc's gonna get me delivered) and humongous amount of curiosity - baby boy or baby girl!

BTW, my best friend Shweta gave birth to a baby boy, AVI, C section. Both are doing well... and I am so excited for them too!!!!!!

December Update

Yeah, the last month of preggyness!

The doc visit was as usual. She was pretty happy with my baby's weight gain. I am heavy at 65 kgs now :D But seriously, I don't feel that heavy. My blood pressure and Jr's heartbeats are normal and healthy.

Jr is currently lying in head down, but oblique position. So gyn has asked me to continue with the exercises and try to coax the baby into current position. I have started scolding telling Jr. that s/he needs to move else it could be C-section.

Of course, there is in fact nothing to be worried about yet, as it seems there are still 15 days left for the baby to actually settle in to a final position. Nevertheless, docs will be docs and warn, they will. :)

Other than that, how am I you ask? I am fine, except for the massive physical discomfort that comes along with 9th month. Twisting and turning at night is a HUGE headache. I feel broken in half a dozen places with bones rattling and Jr. merrily kicking from inside. Thankfully, I am still away from exhaustion. Walking has now started to become a duck waddle. Yeah, despite the fact that I don't have a bump that's gigantic, I look funny when I walk! Have I mentioned that the girl who had to be told to walk slow, now tells others to walk like grandmas?

My stomach is somewhere in the throat and, is full within a few grains of food. Gravity is working overtime. Anything and everything that I hold falls on the ground and I am not even allowed to crib about it!!! X(

I sleep on my left, Jr. tumbles to the left and starts tickling me. I sleep on my right and Jr. tumbles to the right and starts tickling me. I sleep on my back; back starts complaining. Jr. still kicks. While I try to attain a balance between what Jr. wants and my comfort, I am thirsty. I have to haul myself in a sitting position and drink water. With immense effort,  lot of aah, ooohs later when I finally manage lie down, the bladder starts talking. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat and wonder "When did I become like this?"!

Amidst all this nocturnal drama, concerned husband asks, "Anything wrong?!" to which I answer, "Nothing, I am just pregnant!"

November Update

My gyn is really happy with me and the baby. That's like telling only the moral of the story. So here's the detailed version.

The main cause for concern was that our blood groups are positive and negative. And apparently, there is some biological zhol there and probability of complications. Hence, an additional test was recommended. A lot depended on the result, I was told. Thankfully, the test reports were negative again, which saved me a lot of headache. Other than that, there was Glucose Tolerance Test, blood tests, U/S and some more; all of which turned out to be great.

Probably I am observing it better, but I see a lot of pregnant ladies. I cannot help but compare my tum with the others and wonder if I am "pregnant enough". Everyone else seems to have a larger bump than mine. Mom patiently tells me that they are way ahead of me, and I will eventually reach there. :)

Oh yes! My gyn said the baby is pretty healthy and chubby too! Ooooooooooo... I am imagining a mini version of KK already. I got some U/S snaps. And yes, there are chubby cheeks and nose like KK's. :| :P

Other than that, everyone's on the guessing game, whether it'll be blue or pink booties. So far, all of them say I am gonna have a boy -  A. Because I don't have a huge bump. B. Because when seen from behind, I don't look pregs at all.

I have no reasons to believe or rather even pay attention to the speculations. I'll be happy with a healthy baby.  But yeah, sure as hell, I am curious to know!

BTW, my EDD has jumped up to 9th Jan, according to the U/S. That means I have exact 2 months to go! :O

Umm... went shopping for some clothes today, and got some comfy, daily wears. I made sure they don't make me look like an aunty. So these are cute tops and night wears, and I DON'T look like any preggy aunty. Yeah, I still drive my mom crazy by refusing to wear those long, behenji types salwars and nighties. She    is wondering what's so wrong in wearing something that is comfortable. I am all for comfort, but what's wrong with good looks?

:) :) :) :) Next doc appointment on 3rd Dec. (and hopefully heavier by 1.5 kgs)

October update

Sometimes nothing happens for a long period of time and other times, there are so many things happening that you wonder if you've even taken a breath. So yes, since the past week there have been whirlwind activities at my end.

First and the foremost, and probably the best - KK's back from the US. I am not going to elaborate how happy I am to see him after a long gap of 3.5 months. Secondly, he got me a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggg surprise. Will blog about it some other time; it qualifies a blog post!!

Secondly, I had my first baby shower at the in laws place and must say it was a great event. When so many people wish you, bless you and shower love, it's difficult not to feel special. We felt grateful for our decision to come back to India for the delivery (as against so many people trying to convince us that our decision was not right - will blog about that one too)

Third : BABY UPDATE!!

Yesterday was my first appointment with the doctor here. And everything is fine, with me and the baby. I was PHEW! After the flight journey, Mangalore-Bangalore-Pune, I was scared even though the journey was pretty comfortable.

Anyway, I found out that from now on the weight gain is going to be rapid. I'm already seeing the proof of it. There are no eating restrictions, as long as I eat every two hours and healthy (= tasty). There's a series of tests that I have to go through before the next appointment. :O  I am all excited for the ultrasound which will take place in a few days.. so Yippppppppeeeeeeeee!!!

The kicks are so strong and frequent now, that I jump in my seat when I receive them unawares. Yeah, KK's fascinated too and loves it when Jr. moves around and packs punches.

At 61.5 kgs, I am wondering where the 47 kg-ed girl has disappeared. I find my increasing weight amusing! :) Everyone else (esp. those who's been seeing me since childhood), who'd always had the wish to see me weighty is pulling my cheeks.

Currently waiting for the second baby shower that's coming up on the 30th of this month.

I am more than smiling! :)

Ooooo Baby Baby - Baby Update 05/09

YAYAYAYYAYAYYYYYY!

I SAW JR.!!!! Damn, I saw Jr. and still find it difficult to believe it! S.T.I..L.L! There s/he was, waving at me with tiny fists. And saw a lot more than the previous U/S! Eyes, nose, lips, head, heart, hands, legs, toes..... oooooo those toes are sooooooooooooo small and cute! Looks like, Jr.'s inherited Daddy darling's nose! X( ... I wanted my nose there!! :| :|


The images were so angelic, especially the 3D face one, that I wanted to hug and kiss the screen repeatedly! I  did not want the session to stop! :) :D Babies in-utero are super cute and mine is the cutest!!!! :) I know every mommy must feel the same. :)

There are more reasons for my heady happiness! I was a bit apprehensive as I was not "showing adequately" according to the "experienced" ladies. Though I was not overtly tensed in any manner, I was a bit anxious. Although, through tests and scan, came to know that everything is progressing as it should. :D

Vital Stats : (now with a different meaning altogether!)

6th Month : 21 weeks

Weight : 57 kgs (yipppeee... an increase of 2 kgs, as was supposed to be)

Blood Pressure : Normal

Hemoglobin : On border, a bit lower. But nothing to worry.

Glucose : Normal

U/s : excitingly Normal

Tum-tum : Baby bump shows indeed! :) :) :)

Baby Kicks and Hiccups : Stronger and more so during night time, which keeps me awake. I hope Jr. doesn't turn out to be a nocturnal!

Yeah I know you are waiting to see if I put up the baby snap, lekin the doc here said they don't give baby pics! :| But i requested... ahem, ahem, emotionally blackmailed, and got a pic of hand and fist and 3d face pic. But it is too small to figure out, and I am super aalsi to go and scan. In fact, facial features are not even recognizable in print!

What am I craving? 

Nothing much. In fact I am craving less than I used to before I was pregnant, or married even.

That's it for today. Until the next time, toodloo!

Baby Update - 06/08

Recently, I had my monthly check up and boy! do I look forward to them!

Well, I expected an ultrasound, just so that I could take a peek at Jr. again. I wondered if I could get a glimpse of tiny arms, legs and head moving about. Alas! No U/S this month, the doc said; next month! Me is counting days till September 5th now. 

Anyhow, it was the usual. Doc asked me if I eat. I am sure she meant nutritional. I thought I did, and said a confident 'yes'. After all, I eat only home cooked delicious meals. However, the stupid weight machine revealed that my weight has increased only by 1kg since the last month. And I am now ordered to put on 2 kgs per month. 

Do you drink milk? she asked.

Yes, I do. I said. 

Do you add Horlics/ Bournvita to it?

Errrrr......

Well, since childhood, me and Horlics/ Bournvita/ Boost/ Complan have 36 ka aakda! I have always prefered plain milk. But now, things are different. Other than Horlicks (which I have in the morning), there's another powder which I am supposed to add to milk at night! 

Anything for my Jr.!

Except the weight, everything is pretty normal, she said. I also got a Tetanus shot. Next one due next month. 

 In a nutshell ::

5th Month : 17 weeks

Weight : 55 kgs

Tum-tum : Starting to pop out, just a bit; certainly not showing.

Diet : 8 AM : Overnight soaked almonds

8: 30 AM : Breakfast + Calcium pills

10 AM : Milk with Horlicks and something to eat (most of the times, some fruit)

12:-30 - 1:00 PM : Lunch + Milk

5 PM : Coffee with something to eat

7 PM : Timepass snacks (Baby craves, not me)

8: 30 - 9:00 PM - Dinner

10 PM - Milk with nutritional powder and folic acid pill

Well, people keep asking me what I do to pass my time, now that I am out of my routine. There is perhaps not a lot what I do, physically. I read, I write (not just blog), I take time to talk to my in laws (this is the first time that I get to live with them since wedding, so I am making the most of it by trying to get to know them and vv), talk to mommy, who is always full of do's n don'ts even when we speak every day of the week, sometimes I prepare something in the KITCHEN and then there's always internet. 

When I am doing none of the above, I take rest, or I look at the fishes in our cute aquarium. I am pretty much interested in watching them swim, eat their food, nibble at each others tail. Cute lill folks!

Next update will be in September. With the ultrasound, YAY! and hopefully me heavier by 2 kgs! :) ;)

***Highlight*** I am already feeling flutters in my tum tum. It goes even before I can widen my eyes in amazement. I so LOVE them! Jr.'s starting to make me aware of his/her presence. :) I hope s/he kicks hard soon! :D :D

What's new? Here's what!!!!

I am back! Not just to the blogging world but I am back home!!! :) :) :) It feels incredible! Excruciatingly incredible! I just cannot stop smiling.

Well, there's another reason why I cannot stop smiling. A bigger reason. And the biggest reason behind me coming back home is, soon

in January. :D

So me is a mixed bag of all emotions right now. Elation, nervousness, scared, jumpy.... every imaginable emotions I have gone through since we found out that a new chapter in our life is gonna unfold. Am I prepared? Am I well equipped to handle everything that comes along with it? Don't know! But sure as hell we are over the moon, not to mention the ever waiting set of grandparents!!!

FYI, a few weeks in the first trimester, made us go through hell. Like many others, I had my bouts of nausea, weepiness, crankiness, vomiting etc. KK became my godmother during that entire period. It was certainly a bigger hell for him, having to balance me with my bizzare hormones , the entire household - complete with cooking, cleaning, laundry and his ever demanding work. I am not sure what he ate or didn't during that time. I was so selfishly self involved!

I love him for being so patient, caring and most of all understanding my situation, even though it was first time for him to handle a major, inexplicable situation. One moment I was laughy, next I was screaming and in a while I had tear soaked cheeks. Every time I was met with hugs and "don't worry, everything's gonna be fine". And eventually everything is fine.

Currently, it is lambi judaai for both of us. He will be coming back to India in December. I am not very happy with the prospect of staying away from him for such a long period of time, but I had to give in to the demands of the situation. :( Still 20 weeks for KK to come here!

Yenniway, the highlights up to date.

We got to hear our baby's heartbeat during my last checkup in America! There are 160 doog doog doog heart beats per minute. It is healthy and normal. Whew!

And, during the first checkup here, I had an ultrasound and me and KK got first glimpse of our little one. Kk Jr. is 8 cms long :D!!!  Kk Jr. was actively somersaulting and tumbling merry. I had tears in my eyes. We also saw a tiny part on the left go dhak dhak dhak. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I can still hardly believe all this is true. Small arms and legs, not very distinct, were still moving ... and aaaaahhh!! I cannot explain my feelings further!

For now, I am at my in laws place, enjoying all the attention and lovely food prepared by my incredibly sweet MIL. (Now, I know where KK gets all his kindness from... its genetic). I will be going to Pune (YAY!!) in October to eat all mom made food!

Indeed! Pregnancy is the time to get pampered and loved and send orders in every direction. No one says anything. hehehehe...

Please flood the comment section and make this preggy gal happy! I like congratulatory messages and take care advices too! :)

P.S. Dare anyone calls me "pregnant woman", I prefer (and demand) "preggy gal".

Image courtesy : http://mangocallalily.blogspot.com/2011/04/waiting-for-stork.html I just googled it.